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What has alopecia taught you?
This is a question I reflect upon every once in awhile. I guess I'm a believer in the saying "Things happen for a reason" and so I often think about what is the reasoning behind my alopecia.
For myself, two lessons resonate for me.
Lesson 1) I learned that I am far stronger than I ever thought I was or could be. When you are first thrown in the spotlight of alopecia, all of those small self-conscious issues surface quickly. For myself, they didn't go away...so I had to "deal" with them, recognize my negative and irrational self-talk and seriously put the issues to rest...not easy, especially as a woman bombarded with images of perfection on T.V. and magazines...Honestly, us women are our own worse critics. As an aside...There was a comic once that illustrated the latter beautifully. A naked woman was standing in front of a man thinking,"I hope he doesn't notice the extra five pounds I've gained" The man's reply, "WOW...there is a naked woman in my room!!!" Still makes me smile.
2) Lesson 2 - Life is about balance. When alopecia hit me I was in a full time teaching job, coaching volleyball and also being a mom to an 18 month old and 3 year old...CRAZY. I learned that I wasn't taking time for myself (I love to run and was not doing it...NO TIME!) barely making time for the hubby and really felt like a fish swimming upstream...exhausted. Whether it was the stress from this that triggered my alopecia or not...I've put myself as a priority. Happy mom, Happy business woman, Happy wife really does translate into a Happy Life for all...most days (Of course there are still some crazy moments, and monthly cycling of hormones... but that is life)
My question to my inspiring alopecian friends is what has alopecia taught you?
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Comment by Tallgirl on December 6, 2011 at 12:26pm
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There are many blogs asking this, and getting responses. I had one, "If not for alopecia..." and the topic has certainly been addressed in many responses of the AU gals who have come to terms with the condition. Perhaps some of the new members here can add their thoughts to your new question.
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Comment by Figarosmom on December 6, 2011 at 1:18pm
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Hi Jennifer. Thanks for sharing your lessons. I am only in the beginng so I am not quite ready to share. But reading others lessons helps me grow and learn too. Gives me another angle to see things from.
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Comment by You can do it : ) on December 7, 2011 at 9:25pm
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Alopecia Areta has taught me that it is ok to share something difficult with a friend. It helped me realize that even at my darkest times when dealing with AA I am strong. Injections are hard to deal with but in a way it makes me feel strong that I have it in me to do this.
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Comment by Jennifer Krahn on December 8, 2011 at 7:23am
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Hi Figarosmom, I completely understand what this is like in the beginning and this site is amazing for the supportive environment.
Hi You can do it:) Your point is so well taken. The sharing was one of the toughest things to do and I found it to be such a relief when I finally took that step as well. You CAN Do It!
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Comment by Alliegator on December 8, 2011 at 10:46am
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Thank you for posting this! I agree with your first lesson for sure. I have realized that I am stronger than I ever thought, and that I can get through difficult times. Over Thanksgiving, I was talking to my Stepmom about what I have experienced with Alopecia. We were waiting on my Dad to get sized for new golf clubs. She told me that I am such a strong person. When I heard her say that, I realized you know what, I am. And everyone else can be too! There is light at the end of the tunnel. I think my second lesson would be to be thankful that I am healthy. Because of Alopecia, I have come to see that I could have any other issue, and I would rather have that than some other issues. I appreciate that I have wonderful family and friends. I am thankful to have all of my arms, legs, toes, and fingers!
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Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on December 12, 2011 at 12:37pm
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Beautiful blog!! Alopecia has taught me the level to my inner strength. My ability to speak up about how I feel. Its also taught me that I use to let it dictate what I wanted to do, how I should feel and how I was going to let peoples perceptions control me. Which seemed irrational, why should I let a disease control so much of my life??? It was when making that realization that I decided to let it all go. No longer was alopecia control so much, no longer was I going to let the fear of this disease stop me from being me. A strong, bold and fabulous person.
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Alliegator, I agree with everything you have said...especially your last point about health. Allopecia has definitely highlighted health as something one doesn't think about until you're in the fight with an illness.
Terri I think you hit the nail on the head as well. Fears can stop us in our tracks and it does all stem from the irrational self talk we give ourselves. Great points. Thanks for contributing.
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All of what you say is inspiring to me about allopecia, the experience, the realization, and the overwhelming thoughts that encompass these conditions. I've often caught myself saying "I'd rather lose an arm than my hair" or something of the sort. Well, it would be certainly hard to communicate with all of the wonderful people on this website throughout the world with only one hand to type with. Every day, I deal with this as a 28 year old divorsed lady. I think who would want me bald? Then I remember the awful days toward the end of my marriage, and think, "if someone new can't accept my baldness or 'going baldness' along with the rest of me, then oh well! At least it's not my ex!" It has taught me to stop living in the past, of what I used to have or used to be because now, everything is different. It has made me move forward through depression, self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, and through many-a-scam to grow hair back. I don't have AU or AA or AGA that I know of, it has been 'diagnosed' as TE, FPB, and most recently, seborrheic dermatitis. To guy friends, and guys I work with, I ask, "would you find a bald woman any less attractive than one with hair?" Most guys like hair, especailly younger men... they prefer it. It's funny because middle age men seem to care less, they see it as less of an issue. It's amazing to me the different perspectives that it has brought into my mind, and out of others I bring it up to. Man would I give anything to have back my beautiful curly dark thick hair, but apparently, I don't have whatever the universe wants for me to give it... SO on with time, on with trying to be strong and not feel so alone or ugly, and on with positivity! you're all inspiring and wonderful. Thank you for all you've done and said.
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