This is a bit long, but please read and share it if you have ever felt upset at being mistaken for a cancer patient, and/or if you are travelling to other parts of the world as a bald woman.

I've just returned from 5 and a half weeks in the beautiful country of Indonesia with my husband. The purpose of our trip was scuba diving - Indonesia has some of the finest diving in the world - and we'd never been there. In 23 days of diving at several locations, I did 71 dives. The underwater life was truly amazing and we also got to see Komodo Dragons up close on land.

While we were at two dive resorts and on a "liveaboard" dive boat, I had NO issues with being bald. (As I've posted before, bald is the best way to be when you're doing 3-4 dives a day and getting in and out of a wetsuit!) The wonderful Indonesian staff and other divers (mostly Americans), accepted my appearance immediately, and I explained about Alopecia if they asked.

The Indonesian people who worked at the resorts or on the dive boats were great: warm, easy-going, and open. We made several Indonesian friends who I know we'll stay in touch with. We worked on learning the Indonesian language from the beginning of the trip, and they all had fun helping us learn new words and expressions and encouraging us. One of the best things about the trip was the Indonesian people we got to know.

But, being bald was a different experience when we were on land in between the dive locations. The temperature was in the 90's and the humidity must have been 90% - really hot. So, I was bald except when I absolutely needed to have my hat on for sun protection. We stayed in hotels in several towns on the island of Bali, and transited through airports in Bali and the island of Sulawesi. On the town streets and at the airports, it became clear to me immediately that no one had EVER seen a bald woman before, and that I was viewed as an extreme oddity. The stares and double takes were like nothing I've ever experienced in the US in almost 3 years of going out bald.

Here in America, most people assume I've lost my hair due to chemotherapy. NO ONE made that assumption in Indonesia. It quickly became obvious that everyone thought I shaved my head and chose this look, and it was obvious that I was the first bald woman they'd ever seen. Not one person asked me about cancer....instead, people came up to me in stores and on the street (usually young men) and asked me why I did it. Or, they would point to my head and just make a gesture of surprise. One young guy shouted "Why you cut your hair!?" with an expression of disbelief. I felt like a genuine freak, but with sweat dripping off my scalp and soaking my shirt, wearing a scarf was out of the question for me, and I took off my hat as soon as I was out of the sun.

I quickly figured out from my phrasebook how to say "I'm sick, I don't have any hair, I'm okay": "Saya sakit, tidak ada rambut, saya baik." (Apologies to Indonesian AW members for any language mistakes.) I found that if I just said "I'm sick", people usually got it right away and their expression changed to one of sympathy. There were a few guys who just smiled and gave me a thumbs up - they obviously liked the look, but also assumed it was a "fashion choice."

The worst experience was at the busy airport in Manado, North Sulawesi. The taxi dropped us off at the curb, and I waited with all our bags while my husband went inside to get luggage carts. As usual, people in the large crowd were staring at me, but I was getting used to that. Then, a group of stylishly-dressed young women, all in elegant full-head scarves, started pointing and laughing and taking photos of me. Two of them actually came over and stood next to me to have a photo taken with me!

As many of you know, I'm not shy. But, I was so shocked and upset that I just stood there like a (bald)deer in the headlights. I didn't say anything in Indonesian or English, and did nothing except turn my back to them. When they kept trying to take photos and the crowd grew around me, I finally put on my scarf. At that point, my husband came out with the carts and we loaded our luggage and went into the terminal. I was shaking.

For two days, I was angry at myself for NOT confronting those women....I should have motioned them over (I couldn't leave our bags), and said in Indonesian "I'm sick. I don't have any hair. It's not nice to take photo." I knew how to say all of this by that point. Then I could've said the same things (and more) in English. But, I froze.

At the very end of our trip after the diving was finished, we spent 3 great days in Ubud, Bali (of "Eat, Pray, Love" fame). Our guide there was a wonderful man who taught us a lot about the culture, nature and beliefs of Bali. He also continued to help us learn new Indonesian words as well as some Balinese. We became friends with him and his family, and I told him about my negative experiences and asked him how to best respond.

He gave me a more complete response to people like those women at the airport. Here's what he told me to say: "Excuse me. Don't say bad things. I'm sick with a genetic disease. I don't have any hair, but I'm healthy now." "Maaf. Jangan menghina. Saya sakit keturunan. Tidak ada rambut, tapit saya sehat sekaran." Unfortunately, this came at the end of the trip.

Although it's bugged me to be mistaken for a cancer patient, I am SO relieved to be back in a country where THAT is the common assumption, where a bald woman may be unusual, but not the only one people have ever seen!

I strongly recommend that if any of you women are planning on going out bald in other countries, you should learn in advance to say a few simple things. In addition to "where's the bathroom" and "do you speak English", etc.....learn to say that you don't have any hair because you're sick, and that you feel fine.

I won't hesitate to visit Indonesia again, if I ever have the chance. But, next time I'll be prepared!

First photos from trip are here:

http://www.alopeciaworld.net/photo/albums/eat-sleep-dive

Mary