Wig Wearing Women - Stand Tall!!

I feel so compelled to write this message to all of you bald women who choose to wear wigs. I don't mean to be controversial or engage in debate because aren't we all one family, one community of support? We are ALL in the same boat. First, to you ladies who go bald in public, I appreciate and thank you for being true to what you think is right for you. Because isn't that REALLY what it's about - To Thine Own Self Be True.

But that said, shouldn't we all be accepting each other for any minor differences in how we choose to express or manage our alopecia? My own perception is that there is this underlying pressure to go bald within the alopecia community. The message is that those of us ladies who choose to wear wigs haven't reached the higher level of self esteem as those women who don't wear wigs. And that we are "hiding" as I've been told by a fellow alopecian lady. I believe that these messages only serve to push anyone who is already hurting and emotionally vulnerable into even deeper pain. It creates FALSE shame. I LIKE wearing my wigs; I enjoy that aspect of being a woman. It is how I choose to present myself to the world. So, I am not "hiding" or nor do I have a lesser self-esteem then women going bald. I happen to adore myself. My alopecia and the grace and courage in how I have chosen to manage it for the past 32 years is something that has BUILT, not torn down, my self-esteem.

Please, if you wear a wig and feel any shame or pressure to go wigless, let that go. Don't we have enough on or plates just being a bald woman in a society obsessed with outer beauty - along with just everyday life of work, family, financial struggles, relationship challenges, etc. Take that off your plate!!! Be true to you and be proud of your choice to wear a wig. I am. :)

Views: 244

Comment by Cara Jakobitz on May 20, 2009 at 4:03pm
Well said Kelly! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I agree whole heartily with you.
Comment by Mari on May 20, 2009 at 5:02pm
Kelly- I totally agree with you. I have felt that "pressure" per se from some here. Although I think that it is more that people are trying to get us to be comortable with ourselves period. I am like you, I do wear a wig. I go out a lot without it, be it bald or with a hat. But honestly I feel more girly when I have my hair on and I like to feel like a woman. Now I know someone reading this will think I am saying I don't feel like a woman when I am bald and that is not the case, I just feel MORE is all. And I believe that it is alright for all of us to deal with Alopecia on our own terms. So if it always being bald, or some of the women who always wear a wig, even when sleeping- there is nothing wrong or shameful about that. We all have a right to feel safe and secure however we do it.
Comment by Just Me on May 20, 2009 at 5:19pm
Great blog. Thank you!!!
Comment by Rose K on May 20, 2009 at 6:13pm
Kelly,
Thanks for your thoughtful post. I, too, choose to wear a wig (I have for 30 yrs). I remember when I first began wearing wigs there were no organizations for alopecia areata, no internet, nothing out there to help & guide us alopecians. Society at that time wasn't ready for women without hair - women could be fired for not wearing wigs. I urge people not to be so quick at push their opinions on others - we each deal with our AA individually. What's important is that we now have a community to help each other no matter if they choose wigs /headcoverings or not.

Again, thanks for your post.
Rose
Comment by Danielle on May 20, 2009 at 9:13pm
Kelly, Thank you so much for posting this I completly agree! I have had aa since i was 2 but did not get a wig until i was a junior in high school even though everyone knew about my hair losse and my wig it definatly boosted my self esteem and made the transition from high school to college easier. Almost everyone knows i wear a wig and i am not afraid to talk to ppl or tell them about it. In all honesty wearing a wig is easier for me when it comes to working or going to class but other than that i usualy go without it.
Comment by Alexandra on May 20, 2009 at 10:27pm
Kelly,
I smiled when I read this. As a woman, I enjoy wigs and hair too! It's terrific that there are plenty of women who are perfectly fine going out bald, but it's also terrific that you remind us that it isn't a weakness to prefer to be seen with hair.
Thanks for brightening my day!
Alexandra
Comment by Kelly on May 22, 2009 at 10:22am
Wow - thank you all for taking the time to post your thoughts and feelings. I have too many now to respond to individually but I read each and every one and it makes me smile to see other women feeling encouraged by this post or just saying they are happy in their wigs. And I also appreciate those ladies who go bald expressing why you feel good going bald but saying that you don't judge the way any of us choose to deal with our situations. Lots of great thoughts! Thank you!! :) They make me smile
Comment by cherie on January 17, 2010 at 1:12pm
Amen! I'm new to wearing wigs and don't think I would want to present myself to the public bald. I think it is a personal choice. I really don't see why there is so much drama over wearing a wig. We didn't ask for our hair to fall out. Why don't people make a big deal about false teeth??? If I lost my teeth, I would wear false teeth ase well.
Comment by Kelly on January 18, 2010 at 11:03am
Thanks Cherie, and great point!
Comment by Dominique Cleopatra on February 9, 2010 at 5:43pm
"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and The Wisdom to know the difference." I feel like my authentic self with hair whether grown or bought. That is how I choose to present myself to the world. I don't think anyone on here is trying to pressure anyone into anything. In my opinion alopecians seem to be the most tolerent and open minded, warm, and supportive group of people around. And that is judging from online where most people's true colors show--for better or for worse. Thanks Alopecia world! Sending lots of Love to all of you this Valentine's Day!

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