Hi Maryanne,
Wow!! I hope someday I can be grateful for Alopecia. You are right about findind strength whe you need it most. How did I do it?? Well in my case, I had 3 herniated discs in my lower back and had to quit working. I knew I had to lose weight to reduce the agony I was in. So I challenged myself. I told myself, "If I can't lose weight, I can't do anything." I started walking laps around the block. I gave up everything bad for me...except chocolate and cream for my coffee. I counted calories and I walked every day...up to 4 miles a day. Not having a job made it easier for me to be serious about it. It also took a long time (2 years). If you can except that it is a marathon, and not a sprint race, it becomes more attainable. I am happy I got under 200 pounds. That was my goal. I still want to lose another 20, and I will. I guess you have to really want it. Once I gave my mind a good enough reason to do it, I had the power I needed. It has made everything MUCH better. I still have pain, but no where near as much. I feel better about myself and I have more energy. I love my walks now...if you do something long enough you create a good habit. Well I will be saying a prayer that you have success in your own weight loss goals...I will be cheering you on!!! :)

Yes, I paint the eyebrows on myself! I have a couple of different designs I do. People keep telling me I should have a henna or permanent tattoo done, but I like painting them on myself and being able to change the design. It was actually my cousin's idea - I first lost the hair on my head and then started losing my eyebrows and then after a few years my eyelashes. He came up with the idea that instead of painting on lines, why not have some fun with it? :) And I do. I'm actually really bad at drawing on straight lines - they come out crooked and I feel weird with just lines :D I guess the most important thing is figuring out something that you personally feel good with, right?

Hi Maryanne,
I know it has been a while...I apologize, life gets so busy. Thankyou so much for sharing. I love it when you said you can't fake sexy. Sooo true...I've tried. Hearing your story in more detail has made me feel like I am not alone. Thank you for that. So the weight thing I can totally relate. I was obese... and recently lost 80 pounds. It has made everything much better. But I didn't get the psychological results I was looking for. I still don't feel sexy, even though I got my curves back. You are right Alopecia changes the way you look at yourself. It is such a struggle to stay positive. I hope that you can be open to find someone to share your life with. I don't know that I could do this alone. Just knowing that I am loved...gives me enough hope to carry on. I will be praying that someone special comes into your life soon!!!

Its been hard coming to terms with any of it. I have had to make myself. Between noticing the hair loss in the beginning the doctors appts and all the different treatments and medicines and knowing that there is no cure.....i have made my self accept that this is who i am now. its hard some days. glad i found this forum and i know that i am not alone

Hi Maryanne,
So yesterday I had a complete melt down...I am sure you have had your share. The intimacy issues that my husband and I are having is breaking my heart. I want to be stronger for him and I try so hard to feel desirable and sexy. My poor husband is trying so hard, but I think I might be pushing him farther away. You said that getting older is becoming your ally. I wish that were true for me. I am really struggling with my self image. Does it seem like ordinary every day problems are intensified? Like our emotions are heightened and in overdrive? I over react ALOT and I want to stop, I just don't know how. Logic tells me I will be ok...why won't my mind believe it? Maybe I have been stuffing my feelings so long, and the mourning process is playing catch up. Any feedback would be great! Thank you again for your time and your friendship :)

Thanks for the message :)
I think that the problem in Polans is that Alopecia is still not widely spoken of. I mean most people think I have cancer or leukaemia and when I explain what kind of disease it is they make big eyes because they've never heard of Alopecia.
I still need to look around the site more before I join any groups but thanks for the info :)

Hi Maryanne,
Thank you so much for responding. I am still learning how to navigate the site so bear with me. I have so much to say, I have never spoken to anyone with AU before. Gaining confidence is my most difficult struggle. My family is very supportive and I have a wonderful husband who thinks I am beautiful. You think that would be enough to make it ok...but it's not. I have overcome so many things in my lifetime, and I like to think that I am a strong person. I know I have to accept what I cannot change...somedays I just can't!
Thanks again for offering yout time to talk to me, it is greatly appreciated. I hope you will tell me a little about yourself. Even though I am struggling too, maybe I can help you in some way.

Hi Maryann. Thanks for checking up on me! I've been doing much better than I thought I would. The battle with my ex is still ongoing, but kids are settled with our new life. Things are looking up for me and kids. I still have lots of down moment, but nothing compare to the time I spent with my ex! I am now used to looking at myself in the mirror, alopecia doesn't bother me too much.
I hope your life is going good and you are enjoing the beautiful weather down there!