Comment by mary fedyszyn on November 10, 2009 at 5:02pm

Very nice video. Thank you for your honest thoughts. Wigs are so uncomfortable; I've tried sewing various scarves, but ended up wearing my same old bandanas. Going bald, publically, would be ideal. I just can't get myself to do because I believe it embarasses my family. How do you get such nice looking eyebrows and lashes?

Comment by Mary on November 10, 2009 at 5:54pm

Hi Mary - thanks for your comments. At the time this video was made, I had lost all my eyebrows and lashes, and had had permanent makeup done. Right now (as shown in the more recent photos of me on my page), I have some regrowth of partial brows and lashes, but I don't think they're going to stay. I haven't worn false eyelashes, I just don't want to bother with them. The tattoo brows have faded, and I put powder makeup on them to darken a bit. Next week I'm having them redone.

When I first lost my hair almost 2 years ago, I didn'timagine that I'd be going out in public bald. But, it just turned out to be the best way for me. I tried wearing wigs for a number of months, but can't. I've bought all sorts of scarves, but mostly I just wear my Turkish scarves when I need some warmth. Otherwise, I'm bald.

Comment by margaret on March 20, 2010 at 4:19pm

Hi Mary,

How did you get used to the stares from people. I have never enjoyed being stared at even when I was younger and had hair. I'd love to be able to go out without covering my head but don't know if I could handle it.

Comment by Mary on March 20, 2010 at 4:43pm

Hi Margaret...what can I say? All my life - with hair until age 54, I was fairly self-conscious and overly concerned about what other people thought. Since I started going out bald, I really feel more confident and comfortable "in my skin" (pun intended). I don't know how I did it, except that I just did it. I started with short trips to public places, and I kept track of each "first": first time to the grocery store, etc. It got easier and easier.

I still don't LIKE being stared at, but in some perverse way I'm proud of my difference. I often feel like I'm daring people to stare. I've found that if I hold my head up, act like there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, and just ignore any stares...I feel fine. It wasn't easy, and it didn't happen overnight. It was a day-by-day thing for awhile. I slowly got more and more confident, and cared less and less about other people. The less self-conscious I felt, the less people seemed to stare. In other words...fake it til you make it.

The photos on my page sort of chart my progress. I'd say it was about 6 months before I felt fairly comfortable. I really just don't give a damn what people think now....sure, I still try to look nice. I pay more attention to my clothes and earrings now than I ever did before losing my hair. The bottom line, however, is that I've accepted that THIS is the way I look now, and I just can't see trying to hide it for the rest of my life if that means being too hot.

I don't know if this helps. My advice is to try it a little bit at a time.

Comment by margaret on March 20, 2010 at 4:54pm

Thanks for the reply Mary. I admire your attitude.
I've had AU fo the last 6 years now and I've really let myself go. I used to take some pride in my looks - make- up, earings, stylish clothes, etc., but once my hair fell out I just sort of gave up. The old men would never wear what I've got on right now.
Having to find something to cover up with is such a pain and people stare anyway. Perhaps I'll take baby steps and start giving a damn about my clothes and make-up again and see where this takes me. I was so hoping that I could age gracefully - perhaps I still can?

Comment by Mary on March 20, 2010 at 5:14pm

Baby steps are good. You have to do it.

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