Discussion about alopecia and meeting guys

I am so distraught! Should I wear a wig everywhere despite physical discomfort and psychological disdain for having to 'hide' who I am just because I don't h...

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Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on June 18, 2011 at 1:17pm
do what makes you most comfortable and that confidence you find with your own comfort will shine thru.
Comment by Vicsta on June 21, 2011 at 7:30pm
Gosh I can understand what you mean about wearing a mask/costume. The thing is, you have to do what makes you feel comfortable like Terri said. It's hard enough to date and meet the opposite sex as it is, let alone feeling totally uncomfortable and awkward because you are styling yourself in a way that you don't feel is authentically you.

I think if you style yourself nicely and have confidence in how you look, then that will be more attractive than walking around with a wig on that you don't feel good in. You look lovely without the wig on... and let's be frank, if the man is worth dating/being in a relationship with, he will like you as you are!
Comment by Silje H Teig on June 23, 2011 at 5:12pm
I totally can relate to you.... I have the same problem myself! And have not found the answer yet....or the right guy:)
Comment by Laura Adams on June 24, 2011 at 12:13am
Thanks, guys! here's hoping we all find our answers!
Comment by Paul on June 30, 2011 at 3:19am
Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are a beautiful woman. Do what makes you feel the most comfortable with yourself (wig or no wig). That confidence is what will draw guys towards you. People can sense each other's inner emotions in ways that aren't conscious, obvious, or apparent. Do I think guys will approach you in August without your wig? Yes, Of Course! Don't worry your soul mate will not ignore you with or without your wig.

I know that societal perception and expectations of body image is different between men and women but I've had a similar experience. At the end of high school I wore a Hair Club "Hair System" (its an expensive wig/toupee they glue on your head and its supposed to look real but I highly do not recommend it) to hide what was going on underneath. Although I started to look normal I felt like I was wearing a mask and I was always worried about someone seeing through that disguise. But after I finally got rid of it and decided to embrace my smooth head I was really surprised by other people's reaction. Honestly one day I decided I couldn't live under this mask any longer and I was resolved to be myself even if it means I could be unattractive forever. So I stayed up all night and finally in the morning ripped the "hair system" off. Then finally I felt a great weight lifted off my shoulders.

With the wig I didn't meet anyone and subconsciously I wouldn't let anyone get close to me for fear that they would see through my disguise. Without it, I became more comfortable with myself and I was amazed at how well others have responded. Smooth-headed men AND women are sexy! (and yes hairy-headed people think that too, they exist).
Comment by sean franklin on July 2, 2011 at 6:07pm
I completey agree with Paul on that confidence is really attractive. Stay social, stay active with or without the wig. People on chemo, my step mom being one, can hardly do anything active. When I see women with little to no hair going out, being active whether it be at the mall, college, or wherever I think they have alopecia instead of cancer. Just remember not to be reclusive, I think that is the key to finding your soul mate. In my opinion the decision to wear or not wear a wig isn't nearly as important as putting yourself out into the world. Many men find alopecia attractive, who knows you might find your Mr Right this Summer.
Comment by martin kingston on July 3, 2011 at 8:38am
I think you look lovely with a bald head, but with or without wig i s good so long as your honest in letting people know what they are dealing with they can make an opinion based on them loving your personality and whether or not they find .attractive. Bald ladies can be even more beautiful than ones with hair its all about confidence in yourself. I would love to date a bald girl in uk if there are any bald funny ladies out there who love a bit of adventure let me know.

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