Hello my name is Lisa and I am a 21 years old from Saint Louis. I am currently a freshman in college working toward a degree in Human Services. I have had alopecia totalis for 3 years now. These last 3 years have been really tough for me. When i was first diagnosed with alopecia totalis i broke down and cried when the doctor told me that my hair may never grow back. People started to pity me and my friends talked about me and eventually turned their backs on me because of my condition. I didnt know how to handle this so i started to distance myself from people and started using drugs. I also started failing in school and eventually dropped out because I couldnt handle the stares and whispers.1 year later after accepting the fact the condition was something I couldnt change, I left the drugs alone and started getting my life together. There are times when I have some regrowth but that only lasts for a while and then it falls back out again. I hoping that one day my hair will grow back but for now I will stick to my wigs. I started wearing wigs shortly after being diagnosed and they have helped me a little bit. Sometimes i feel so awkward wearing wigs because they look so fake. Most of that time i wear a head scarf or turban. Also is there anyone here from the Saint Louis area. I just moved here and , Im trying to meet new friends.

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Welcome LIsa. I had a similar experience in school. I graduated in 1982 and there was even less known about alopecia then. People didn't know how to deal with it or address it and some just assumed I had a contagious disease...which was so hard for me. Having to deal with adolescence and hair loss was a rough ride. I never had a full regrowth so I haven't had the rollercoaster ride that many people experience. I've been wearing wigs since I was 8 years old. When I look back at pictures of me when my mother picked out my wigs..I just cringe!
There are a lot of great brands out there; and a lot of helpful sites. Lots of sharing of info. and experience happens here. I'm so glad you've joined. A.W. has been a huge source of support for me.
Hi Lisa
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a struggle If your friends turned away from you ,they were not worth your time. real friends are supportive and understanding I'm sure there are friends like that out there for you.
You joined the right group. People here are going through the same things Once you accept your beautiful self others will do the same. Smile and know that you have not changed ...you are stronger because of this Alopecia thing Big hugs!!!
Hi Lisa, I'm so glad that you stopped using drugs and things are coming together for you. When I first lost my hair (way back in 1978) I went through a terrible grieving process too. I faced discrimination in employment and social isolation. My hair has grown back and fell out again more times than I can count. Now, I just embrace my "condition" hand have chosen to remain bald. Acceptance can take a long time but it is also so liberating! We are so much more than our hair.
This is a terrific site with so many nice people. We don't have to be alone with this anymore. Best of luck to you! Jamie
Hi Lisa

I just read your blog. It has made me realise once again, how much grieving happens with this condition. I'm so pleased you have stopped taking drugs (as that just masks the pain but doesn't deal to it in my mind). You just do your thing and find your niche. Please continue your studies and know that you are way more than this condition could ever be.

Take care

Rosy

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