Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mandy on July 22, 2008 at 9:21am

I can't believe your step-uncle would say that. I really hope that you said something to him. If you want someone to change their behavior make sure that they know how you feel. Or else it will never change.

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Permalink Reply by Deeptide on July 22, 2008 at 2:09pm

He's kinda of self-centered and seems to have a hard time relating to others problems. Would be difficult to talk to him about it, plus he ribs on all the young guys, I'm just glad I get the least of it. My step-father was the same way, but has made great strides in accepting others on account of my issues and my mother's Parkinson's disease.

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Permalink Reply by Carol on July 22, 2008 at 11:39am

Your step-uncle really needs to learn about alopecia. That's a little over the line, way over the line for me. I'm glad you found out who your true friends are at least but when it comes to family it's difficult. Learn everything you can about alopecia, the NAAF website has great info. and if you could even convince your step-uncle to go to a support meeting with you it might help him see. Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Deeptide on July 22, 2008 at 2:06pm

Thank you, however my step-uncle, though a great person is an old fashioned alpha-male and would have a hard time dealing with issues out in the open. My mother's family are more accepting and would be willing to learn about my condition. I may see if I can find a support group in Ontario, thanks for the advice.

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Permalink Reply by Mandy on July 22, 2008 at 2:20pm

You never know until you try. You may be surprised. Don't just assume that he won't understand. If you don't want him to treat you the way he did that day you've gotta let him know.

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Permalink Reply by Tony on July 22, 2008 at 12:35pm

Sorry folks are giving you a rough time. I've been hanging around for a a few months now. I think you'll find just what you are looking for. Welcome.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on July 22, 2008 at 2:39pm

Hi Deeptide,

Unfortunately we are never going to be able to avoid some crazy remarks. What we want to do is learn how to tactfully deal with them. His comment was to hurt you, which says more about his personality than your alopecia. A lot of times I get in situation where I feel that I should have said something and didn't. What I do find is, it is a good time to come up with a solution for the "next time", even if it does not come with him. It gives you the tools to deal with others.

Sometimes things just take time. I find even if I have my "solution" and don't use it yet, then atleast I know I have it and I can use it later on. Sometimes a simple "ouch, that was hurtful" and walk away is enough to put the uncomfortableness back on the person to which it belongs. Then he is left with everybody looking at him.

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Permalink Reply by Deeptide on July 22, 2008 at 5:01pm

Thank you, lol I can't stop saying that today. I'm sure you realize how much this site means to so many. I've only been here for a day and have learned more now than the 9 months since it started. My girlfriend and I found all the user's comments quite moving.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on July 22, 2008 at 2:40pm

Did I mention that I am glad you found us? :)

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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on July 22, 2008 at 4:35pm

Hi

I'm so sorry that you seem to be surrounded by some very insensitive souls. How horrible for you. You sound like you have a great attitude, keep your chin up.

I'm not sure of your age. I have a 17 year old daughter with AU and even though it can and has been challenging she does very well.

You will get some wonderful support and caring here.

Rosy

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Permalink Reply by janet on July 23, 2008 at 4:16am

I know how you feel, to my surprise i found that its family members that make a point of embarassig me or belittle me, particuly when there is a gathering, you know snide comments about my lack of hair then giggling whilst everyone else looks and joins in the giggling, thats my sisters and brother for you, they know very well that it hurts i made a point of it just the other day (letting them know i have feelings) and all they do then is say oh take a chill pill sis its just a laugh (yeah at my expense), it makes me feel like i want the ground to open up and swallow me before the tears roll. Im so glad your relation ship is stong kiddo it makes such a difference when you have unconditional love and support.

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Permalink Reply by Lori D. on July 24, 2008 at 8:43am

I agree that it does say more about the individual who would say such a mean thing. I wasn't subjected to mean comments from my family members...it was always school that was torturous to me. Years ago, I think I would've been too stunned to respond if someone said that to me, not anymore.

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