Alopecia World
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Alopecia....
As a guy who has lost my full head of hair after knowing how people use to treat you is a major hard time coping with it...
When I was younger I use to have friends, got picked first in gym class, teachers adored me, had straight A's, and girls really liked me. I had long brown hair that was straight. When I lost my hair I constantly got ignored by friends (which are not friends but when you have no friends at all what is a friend?) did not get picked in gym, teachers stared like I was an alien/never called on me so I sat in the back of the classroom my average went from straight A's to D's and F's, actually I had to sit by myself in 11th grade and I finally gave up on being teased/bullied every day until I quit school to go to online classes. I finally found my first real girlfriend online who I dated for a year before going to meet her in real life. I flew to Florida to be with her and brought her back to PA. We eventually had a daughter but cheated on me three times because of the Alopecia and abandoned me and my daughter. I finally got A's and B's again after all this negativity and even got my Associates. I am going straight through for my Bachelor's and Master's. The one problem I am having though is I still do not have any friends who I can even call friends. And any time I speak to a woman I think she is either too good for me or ignores me because of the Alopecia/won't give a chance to me.
I hate the thought of getting shots or other things that have a minimal chance to grow my hair back and yet everyone says hair is nothing is just lieing.... I have personally been confident about this yet confidence has not received me anything but more negativity. Plus almost all guys wigs cost a lot of money but look like garbage compared to girl wigs.
And for the people who are going to say maybe you weren't doing things right in the relationship. Every time I have dated anyone I have done exactly what a girl says she wants... (Romantic dinners, Flowers, Adventures, Concerts, Bowling, Movies, Caring, Loving, and everything else) It has not worked for me at all because I am never given the chance without being blown off...
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Return_life on
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Hahahahahaha good reply buddy.
Everything happens for a reason... Lady destiny had other plans for most of us.
But I can see that lack of social life can be harsh...
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Permalink Reply by Pam D. on
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I don't get it when people say they're life changed when they got Alopecia. I got AA when I was 58; I'm 62 now. My hair came back twice, but I've progressed to AU and have been totally w/o hair for over a year now. Nothing in my life, or about me, has changed; I have the same friends and have made new ones, so maybe it's you that has changed, not the people around you. I hate wigs and only wear them when I go out. I wear headcovers most of the time, so my baldness is obvious to anyone.
Honestly, some of the sexiest, most attractive, men I've ever seen are totally bald. The late Telly Savalas, and Yul Brynnar, of years ago to Dwayne Johnson, Shemar Moore, & Bruce Willis, for example. What they all have in common, besides being bald, is they exude self-confidence, which is attractive and sexy to any woman. I've seen homely, short, and fat, (sometimes all three in one package) with attractive, sexy women.
It sounds to me like your self-confidence has taken a beating and perhaps people are picking up that vibe. Maybe you are coming off as desperate to the ladies and they could be picking that up as well, even subconsciously. Women do not like men who are desperate and try too hard (at least I never did).
Bottom line, it could be you, not them.
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Awesome post.
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Permalink Reply by JessicaStinkle on
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You said everything perfectly! My hair all fell out within a single month and no part of my life has changed negatively because of it. Nobody left me, no one stopped calling me, I didn't lose my job, my GPA in school went up last semester (woot woot). If anything at all I have improved as an individual since I lost my hair. I think that the effect the hairloss leaves on people must has something to do with personality and resilience.
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November 1st 1992... I'm pretty sure 23 is still classified as "young adult". There are many young people who have not let alopecia interrupt their lives. I think you must have misunderstood the last posts to be "cutting down" as Pam was listing all the attractive bald men in society. There's a saying that I'll probably get wrong... When you smile the whole world smiles with you, but when you frown, you frown alone.
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you need to be more confident, stupid!
easier said than done for any person. And the unpleasant things you've been through? that happens to a lot of people who don't have alopecia. Making friends is difficult for all adults. Relationships are difficult for all adults. Heck, life in general is difficult.
just get out there, do what you do, pick up some hobbies, try to enjoy yourself. Focus on all the good things about yourself instead of the one thing you see as a flaw.
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Permalink Reply by T on
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I am confident haha everyone is judgmental which is the problem... I know what people are... Use a fake profile of an okay looking guy and yourself and see how many more responses you get especially on dating sites..... It is pretty sad.... I have wrote 1000's of messages all normal about their interests and no responses.... And to the person who is 58 you are 58 what do you expect half the people at your age are already bald or less judgmental. In this day and age people my age are more judgmental then in the past. They base everything off of looks. It is quite ridiculous.... I have seen every girl say they want those things I stated but why am I the one without the girl while a bunch of douche-bags that do none of that crap get girls? It makes total damn sense.
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People are not more judgmental today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8PScDbLdeQ
I remember this song from 1978. Ironically the year i first had an episode of AA (Aged 17)
A mere teenager! I survived .....
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Your up early Tyler! It's 10.46 in UK.
I have semi permanent eyebrows. They make me feel great. Just recently i have had black dots put under my eyelids. Looks great and is visible. Getting the top lids done later.
I wish i had done it earlier.
The pic is 2 years old and the eyebrows are better now.
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