Can someone say it's all gonna be okay?

Well I feel sick and really panic stricken yesterday I finally shaved my head I thought I was okay with it ready even but no I feel trapped in this despair like I made a big mistake although walking around with tuffs sticking up seemed ridiculous. My sister calls me brave her hero but really I'm a fake and fraud I just want my hair back I can't even look in the mirror at myself to brush my teeth please please some words of wisdom something.....

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Permalink Reply by Dom on July 28, 2011 at 5:41am
Don't be surprised how you feel when you shave your head. Remember it's like walking out of a hairdresser with the the worst cut you ever had and you did it, and there is nothing you can do about it, as you have Alopecia.
Would anyone be happy? Plus it's a 'no win' situation. Before you had a patchy head and afterwards a 'map of the world head' Would anyone be happy?
But.....if you keep it shaved close, you can make choices of what you want to do and you have no more falling hair or trying to manage it. I shaved mine in 2005. I had to as it was all falling out. Four months later i was AU.
Most people after a few days/weeks are relieved they did it. It's actually a positive step and shows you can make choices. In hindsight i'm glad i did it and probably should have done it three months earlier.
Permalink Reply by Dana on July 28, 2011 at 1:04pm
Thanks Dom it's only been day three so I will need time for sure and hope I get to the place of acceptance soon
Permalink Reply by MiNAH on July 28, 2011 at 9:36am
There will come a time ... where this maze of questions, perception, sadness, confusion, worry, emotional pain, self loathing, shall all make sense, and "YOU WILL FIND YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS TURMOIL".... eventually you will come to know peace.
Permalink Reply by Dana on July 28, 2011 at 1:06pm
Can't wait thanks for for that place of peace and acceptance......thank you by the way your picture is beautiful
Permalink Reply by ROSE WOSE on July 28, 2011 at 10:15am
HI, You shud try driving in a convertible with long trendy earings and no hair ....it is crazy wonderful and adds a whole new ray of sunshine in your day!!!hugs
Permalink Reply by Dana on July 28, 2011 at 1:08pm
Okay let's go! LOL:)
Permalink Reply by Mary on July 29, 2011 at 12:10am
Hi Dana - I just saw your post, and haven't had a chance to read the replies. In case it might help you, take a look at my photos and blogs and videos...I won't repeat it here, but on my page I tell my story. The bottom line is that in January 2008, I shaved my head and was just where you are. I went through some rough times, depression, anger, hating wearing a wig, thinking my life was ruined. But THIS is where I am now, 3 and a half years later, dancing bald in front of about 2000 people and not giving a damn:

http://www.alopeciaworld.com/video/twisting-in-balboa-park

Life is good. Having no hair is the least of my problems! I go everywhere bald and just don't think about it most of the time. Yeah, I wish I had my hair back, but I'm really at peace with the "new me", and it's ALL OKAY. REALLY. Sending you a hug. Mary
Permalink Reply by Dana on July 29, 2011 at 3:38pm
Thanks for that mary loved it sooooo brave maybe one day I'll dance in the park!
Permalink Reply by Mary on July 29, 2011 at 6:14pm
Glad you like it. A couple of years ago, this would have been "brave" for me. Now I honestly am just being myself and pretty much not thinking about it. It was a tough process, but I'm here. If I can do it, you can, too.
Permalink Reply by Shelly on July 29, 2011 at 12:27pm
Hi Dana,

I have unversalis and I LOVE most of it! It wasn't always that way. I started with areata in 1991 and things progressed to where they are today.

I wanted hair to grow back in this order: eyelashes, nose hair, eybrows and lastly head hair. Recently I had my eyebrows tattooed and added permanent eyeliner make-up to the upper and lower lid (tattoo). Best decision ever! Now I want my eyelashes, nose hair and then head hair and if I don't get head hair, I'll be ok. You may ask, "why the nose hair"...well with out nose hair, when you start to get a runny nose, there is nothing to catch any of the liquid and without warning, a faucet gets turned on...oh the joy!

I've recently gotten MUCH braver, and started wearing bandannas in public (working out, at the pool, at home, in the neighborhood, etc). That was very freeing for me. The only place will wear my hair regularly is to work. I'm a high school science teacher and my students don't know I have alopecia. Some think I wear a wig but don't know why. I suspect, one day, if I just said, "I don't care anymore" and wore a bandanna to work, I'd feel more free. But do to my vanity or insecurity, I'm not there yet.

One person who wears hair extensions told me to stop saying my hair is fake....I bought it, I wear it, therefore, it's my hair!!! She's right, it is my hair.

I understand your feelings, even the not wanting to look at yourself in the mirror....but sometimes I just have to think, this is who I am and I am a great person (especially without hair...it's made me more humble).

~Shelly
Permalink Reply by Dana on July 29, 2011 at 3:45pm
Thanks shelly....that's one of my fears my hair maybe the least of my problems as my eyelashes are falling out in my left eye seems to get itchy and watery. I lay in bed sometimes overwhelmed at the possibilities of out come it can sure mess with your head. I'm feeling better since doing it. The drama of it all has subsided. Replaced of course with sadness pain and fear about the course this condition will take.
Permalink Reply by Evan on July 30, 2011 at 8:59am
Hi Dana,

OK, so you decided having a head of sparsely populated porcupine tufts, was not the look you were going for, and shaved it all off. Consider this: YOU took control of your condition. YOU took power back from the disorder by shaving your head. YOU made an assertive statement to the world that 'Alopecia will not get the better of me'.

Look around this site:
- beautiful women everywhere, and not a strand of hair to be found among them
- inspiring posts of women shedding hair and wigs and the freedom that came from doing so

Shower time:
- Average Sally Housecoat - shampoo, conditioner, hairdryer, curling iron, straightener iron, stay-in-place hair goop, 15-20 minutes every morning just for the hair. And when it doesn't come out right - that's it, the day is ruined.
- Dana - shower gel & scruffy sponge, relaxing shower, towel off, get dressed, out the door. Time: 15-20 minutes TOTAL

You're concerned about your eyelashes - right now men and women spend thousands to get plucked, waxed, sugared, and electrolicized to achieve the look you have without dropping a dollar

I can tell you from my own experience with male pattern baldness - the day I shaved my head, was one of the most freeing experiences I ever had, and I've never looked back : )

I hope in time you realize the amount of power and control over your condition you demonstrated by shaving your head

Evan

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