Child protective service visit

So tomorrow I'm getting a visit from CPS. Apparently, the school called CPS on my wife and I for child neglect because my twelve year old daughter has Alopecia. She started losing her hair around January. She's completely hairless now. When we noticed the patches we took her to a dermatologist. He diagnosed her and then gave us some medicine which didn't work. I don't believe there is any form of medicine to treat this type of Alopecia. So the school figured they'd wait until she returned the next year after summer break and if she was still bald they'd contact CPS and file a complaint. We don't treat her any differently. We never ask her to wear her wig or hat when we go out. We try and make her environment as stress free as possible. She's so comfortable now she doesn't even wear a hat or wig at school. Unfortunately she's probably going to get upset when this government employee shows up tomorrow to start asking questions about her condition. So how should I deal with this? Do I allow this CPS employee into my home or just talk outside and how do I deal with the school? Any advice would be great. Thank you.

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Permalink Reply by Amanda Crichton on August 30, 2013 at 9:53pm

I am glad to hear it went well and case is closed. The school needs educating, and the nurse...through my own experience I have discovered a lot of people have different ideas as to why our children get alopecia. The main one being stressed, but as Deana said, stress isn't the cause! I have been told it is an immune disease. You do what you feel is right for your family,and if that means contacting a lawyer so CYPS doesn't come calling again or so anyone else doesn't understand, you have your bases covered! As I am not in your country, I believe the agencies may have different policies, but educating folks is a good start,to help them understand what your family is dealing with, especially the schools, classes our children are in. You never know where that may lead, and the good that may come out of all this! Blessings to you and your family!

Permalink Reply by Dorothy on August 31, 2013 at 2:41am

I have read enough to feel you must get an attorney that is familiar with medical issues. CPS can and will rear its ugly head again in the future. In the meantime it will be up to you to educate the school on what is the cause and for this you need your doctor's help. If the school does not understand they will continue to think something is wrong and continue to call CPS. When my daughter tried to explain about me and my alopecia the person she was talking to decided I had aids and would not hear anything else once she used the term autoimmune disease, so choose your words carefully.

Permalink Reply by Gemma on August 31, 2013 at 8:43am
Oh dear, just when I think I have heard every ignorant remark that's ever been made about alopecia... there's a new one. How awful Dorothy... I imagine the ridiculousness of that AIDS remark would have almost overshadowed the hurtfulness. The ignorance is never ending isn't it?

That's the thing when it comes to taking legal action, or going to the media... when you have been at this for a while, you find that you have to pick your battles. It's up to the individual when the time is right to take action. Even when the incident is a real doozie, its your right to take things further, but its not your obligation. There's always a bit of a trade off when you follow through (be it stress, expense or loss of privacy), but it can be worth it if the time is right for you. It depends whether at that moment you feel strong enough to fight on, or more like you need to opt out to spend time being kind to yourself and your family.
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on August 31, 2013 at 11:52pm

Texas
Support Group
Central & San Antonio
Tracey Casey-Arnold
512.540.1583

Permalink Reply by Kathyk on September 3, 2013 at 8:28pm
Jtucker4, please do not take offense to what I am about to say ...

This is a social media site. We do not know each other personally. We are not in this persons home. Yes, I hate that this child has to go through this stress. But, teachers have a repsonibilty legally to turn in suspension of abuse. And legal the teach isn't to discuss the concerns with the parents. So, no you do not have a law suit. They obviously were concerned enough to care.

If this is a case of child abuse, then I am all for it. If it is not a case of child abuse, documentation of the disease is all you need. As a person with alopecia, I believe it is our responsibility to inform other of the disease.

Shame on all of you that just take a person for their word! There is more child abuse then there is people with alopicia. People lie everyday. Have you not seen catfish? How about all the predictors online? All you have to do is watch dateline or any news program to see that. No offense jtucker ... I don't know you. CPS means no harm to your family. They mean to help you.
Permalink Reply by Cindie on September 3, 2013 at 9:23pm

Yep...famous last words: "I'm from the government and I am here to help you."

I don't know about other states, but in Pennsylvania, the more "abuse" cases that are reported (unfounded or not), the more $ CPS gets from the federal government. Having spent a combined total of 42 years in both "social services" and "government", I THINK I have enough experience to say that sometimes, "it is all about the $", and help is secondary. This does not mean that there aren't very good workers in both arenas who have the "best interests of the child/family" in mind, but again, this is America, and the bottom line is "all about the dollar" --who has it, who doesn't have it, and how can we get more to "promote our cause" -- whatever that "cause" may be.

Permalink Reply by Rici* on September 7, 2013 at 3:08am

Dear Jtucker4,

I'm glad to hear the perso ncoming over was nice and the case was closed.
I'm also relieved to read that all those (partly very quite opposing) posts could help you and did not make you feel worse.
One of the things that i really appreciate on alopeciaworld is that we are such a diverse community, but that also means that i do disagree with many of the posts that i found here.
I still believe that the techers and the nurse could have done more reading and asking on their own, but acted with good intentions. Still: what is meant to be good often isn't. And for me your experiences are one more proof of our society being very abelist and lookist - not critically discussing issues of bodies, health and justice.

wish you strength, happyness an sunshine

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