Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on March 15, 2009 at 2:34pm

Hi Dielle

My daughter wore bandanas, scarfs and nothing for about six months before she received her hairpiece. What happened to us was positive and helpful. I found with alopecia the decisions are to wear a hairpiece or to wear a scarf or nothing. All have consequences to the person with alopecia and the reactions of those around you.

For Libby the things that happened when she wore a scarf or nothing were that people constantly thought she was going through Chemo (which is understandable). It was always people with very kind intentions telling me and my daughter about a friend or loved one dealing with the same situation. So, I had to work out what to say to these people without being insulting and without giving them the opportunity to minimise Libby's situation. We sorted this in the end. Because Libby was at school at the time. We also had to educate the people at her school (as she wore a hat to school). This again worked out well for her. Not perfect just well.

What this time did for my daughter was wonderful. She had time to come to terms with her alopecia before making the decision to wear a hairpiece. Her transition into a hairpiece was very open and enjoyable. We all had no other choice but to deal with the consequences of her alopecia. It was a very positive experience in most instances. Most people are very supportive and caring, but you will find some are just the opposite but I feel they are few and far between.

You may never want to wear a hairpiece and that is totally your decision and you have my support either way. I hope you do what makes you feel the most comfortable.

Take care

Rosy

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Permalink Reply by Dielle on March 15, 2009 at 2:39pm

Thanks Rosy! I am just concerned because I had a really bad experience in middle school when I just wore a hat, and even though that is when kids are at their meanest, I am just a little wary of what might happen.

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Permalink Reply by Dielle on March 15, 2009 at 3:09pm

I am kind of leaning towards going bald when I am at home for when I go horseback riding, go to the store and do anything in my home town and then wear a wig to college (air conditioning is cold even with a wig on lol). That way I could get the freedom wig, which is one that seems really appealing to me and then feel the freedom of being bald out doors. I never wear anything on my head when I am in my house anyways.

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Permalink Reply by Hayley Burton on March 15, 2009 at 8:21pm

Hi Dielle,

Great to hear you're thinking of going au naturel in public! It was the best thing I ever did. Like you, when I started university I wanted everyone to see the real me, and I was really fed up of tying a bandana every single day so one day I just went to the dining room in my halls of residence with nothing on my head, and nobody even noticed! Well maybe they did but they didn't say anything to me or stare or all the other things I was afraid of. It was totally fine and from then on I went out bald more and more and nowadays I don't wear anything on my head ever! Unless its really cold outside. Honestly, you can worry about it so much, but it will be absolutely fine and you will feel so freeee! And people will know you as the brave one who is not hiding who she really is - you will gain so much confidence.

Good Luck Dielle!

Love Hayley xxxx

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Permalink Reply by Dielle on March 15, 2009 at 8:47pm

Thanks, I am a relatively shy person for about the first ten minutes that I meet anybody then they can't get me to shut up, and needless to say I definitely not the performer that my older brother is. Its good to know that you had a good experience in college, because I am hoping that I will too. I will definitely be wearing a wig during winter here because I literally freeze in a room that has the air conditioning too high lol. But spring and summer get so hot and humid here that I get on the verge of passing out sometimes, which isn't good for my mums mental state lol. Especially when I am horseback riding or playing tennis or taking my puppy dogs for walks. I am just sick of feeling so hot and uncomfortable all of the time.

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Permalink Reply by Kim Jez on March 15, 2009 at 10:59pm

Hi Dielle, I have horses also and never wore my wig when I was around them. Especially my hubby's horse "Bugzy", as he is very mischievous and it would be a great game to remove my wig!! Plus I could not afford a new wig every week ;)
I have a very active Iifestyle and it has always been hats and bandanas for me. At most of the boarding facilities in Ontario, Canada it is mandatory to wear riding helmets or you can't ride. So I had no choice put the find a comfortable solution to wear a helmet. These helmet are not made for a bald head! I also have a motorcycle and ATV which it is mandatory to wear a helmet, so a bandana works great. Another reason I cover my head is to protect it from burning in the summer or severe cold in the winter. Otherwise I am o'natural...
In my social circle, most people have not seen my wig so I got the stares and reaction when I had my wig on (where did I get the hair!!)...opposite to your situation. I guess they were so accustomed to seeing me wearing a hat or bandana, the wig came as a real surprise. Funny how that works? Kim J

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Permalink Reply by Dielle on March 16, 2009 at 11:46pm

Thanks for the tips, I was planning on just going with nothing, but after both you and my mum pointed out the whole helmet and nothing protecting your head makes a lot of sense lol. I also tend to burn rather than tan like I used to, so that would probably be a good idea. Plus georgia summers are so humid you can literally see the sweat coming off of your nose, so a bandana would be a plus there. I get what you mean about not being able to buy a new wig every week lol. I have a "barn wig" that has definitely seen better days! I generally use my old wigs as "barn wigs" when I get a new one for school. My family is fully ready to support me and the people at my barn are really an amazing group of people that at most would have some friendly questions so I am pretty sure they will try to make me as comfortable as possible.

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Permalink Reply by Eileen Simpson on March 16, 2009 at 10:34pm

I have never done this but it isn't summer yet!! So we will see.
I think if your ready to go without then you should and only you will know what is best for yourself. Wigs can hurt itch and are hot clumsy and just a pain in the neck. So you go girl, if you never do then you'll never know.

Hugs
Eileen

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Permalink Reply by Dielle on March 16, 2009 at 11:41pm

Thanks for the support!

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Permalink Reply by Mari on March 17, 2009 at 10:01pm

For the most part Dielle people dont say anything at all. I go around all summer pretty much with nothing once it gets hot, and it is so nice not to have something hot and annoying on my head. People do stare, and honestly once in awhile you will have someone that asks about you having cancer but really no one pays too much attention. The first time of two you might be self concious but after that it is nothing. Heck those few occasions that people ask me about it I have totally forgotten I didn't have anything on LOL

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Permalink Reply by Dielle on March 17, 2009 at 10:16pm

Good to hear! I don't think anyone will say anything except for maybe a few curious questions. I used to only have a bandana on in california when I played soccer, and no one really said anything. Of course that was back when I lived in a place that had known since I started middle school that I didn't have any hair, but I think it will go ok. Plus the more I think about it the more I can't wait for the warm weather to get here and stay here! For some reason our weather keeps going from 80 degrees and humid to 45 and raining lol.

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Permalink Reply by Mary on March 18, 2009 at 6:57pm

Good luck! I'm physically active, and I found really quickly that wigs are way too hot and itchy. For me, going without anything on my head, and not caring whether anyone knows I'm bald, has been the ONLY way. I feel confident and really don't think about it anymore when I'm in public. All my friends know I don't have any hair. It's just who I am now, and I'm free to be cool and comfortable when I want to leave the scarf off. My attitude toward strangers who see me is: "yeah, I'm bald...get over it!"

I've found that people mostly don't say anything. I've had guys (and women) tell me I look beautiful. I haven't had any negative experiences.

Check out my videos on YouTube if you haven't seen them:

"Alternatives to Wearing a Wig" and "Living a Bald Life"

Best wishes to you...

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