Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Coping up in the best possible way
Hello everyone. I am Sakschi from India. I am pursuing my bachelors in english literature and would be done with it in a year. i have had alopecia since 2005 and since then it has been a roller coaster ride. School was a pretty difficult experience and i am glad in a corner of my heart that i am done with it. Waking up every morning and standing in front of the mirror trying different hairstyles just to hide those huge patches was very tiring. Besides that there was always the sad feeling seeing girls my age flaunt their hair, my best friend having hair which cascaded till her knees. Seeing her everyday was something. Alopecia was an on and off thing in my school years. There was a blissful period of a year or so when most of my patches had recovered only to come back again. Ina the final year of my school around my examinations things changed for worst. i started loosing chunks of hair like never before. It was like some cancer patient( No offense.) who suffers after chemo. Taking a shower seemed to be out of question for that would invite hair loss again. i would like to tell you people that alopecia is not just triggered by an auto-immune disorder, its reasons also lie in thyroid and pcod( polycysctic-ovary disorder). Please do get yourself checked on both if you too are undergoing unbelievable hair loss as i had both the problems. the latter is entirely cured thyroid is still lingering and it would stay forvever as said by the docs. I just need to control its level.
Coming back to my alopecia expereince. As soon as i ended with school, i had to resort to a scarf for around a month. Looking at a mirror was out of question for me as everytime i tried doing that i broke down in a pool of tears and wails. I admit i wasnt a very strong one to face it with strength and belief that i am pretty still. I understand that people say not to give up and think of oneself as ugly, but i didnt understood it back then, though i understand every bit of it now.
i tried my best to emerge from the shock and sadness of it. Soon my parents got me a wig, which cost us a fortune. It has helped me move on with my life but i somehow feel leading a dual life. I started with college and was not able to change my hairstyle because of the whole fake hair thing. i always leave my hair open and that has aroused a lot of suspicion already. sometimes i feel i would never be able to adjust to AU at all.
Other than this here comes the most nasty experience of all. i had a very nice boyfriend and i told him about my condition as soon as we were together for four months. he assured me of never leaving me as every teen tends to do. i was so immature back then. it was a beautiful relationship and went on for as long as three years. i could not have been happier, or so i felt back then. he dumped me a year ago stating how his mother would not entertain a balding wife and one who has health issues for her only son. and he did leave me because i have this autoimmune disorder something which has always been in my genes. all along my mind was pretty set on having a future with him and here he dumped me cause i wasn't a prospective future partner. in moments like these one is forced to think how shallow could people be.
Alopecia has taught me a great deal. I am a stronger girl now. I understand how to differentiate between real love and pretentious one. I know life would be hard but i also know that God chooses to put hardships in the way of those whom he has immense belief and faith in. I just wish my society's perception changes for good because here in India wearing in 50 degree of heat is acceptable but wanting to feel some cool breeze in open on that balding head is formidable. I wish to change that. Someday when i would be strong enough, i would change that.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Tovah on
-
Hi Sakschi:
Consider that guy breaking up with you a blessing in disguise. Honestly, not only was he such a coward, but he brought his imbecile mother into the fray.
The thing is that we, slolpecians, tend to find the best men. Nice, kind and caring.
I've never told this story, but I was in college and we were having a small party and the people thought I was out of ear-shot. One of the blonde women said that she wished she had my hair.
The guy said, "why? She looks like she's going bald".
She said, "yeah. I know. I meant the dark color."
I was truly devastated. I guess I thought that I'd been hiding it well enough wearing my hair up, etc. You know all the things we do to try to cover it.
I think the part that got to me the most was that there was no compassion. Just a person calling a 17 year old "bald".
-
Permalink Reply by sakschi on
-
Hi Tovah
Thankyou so much for reaching out to me. I have heard people call me bald too as I had a bald patch that i wasnt able to hide right above my neck. I was exactly the age when you experienced it too. I do believe now that there is much more to life and we ought to be thankful for all the other blessings we have. We alopecians need to have great compassion and endurance level, far more than others, I feel. Atleast this is what I have learnt in a decade of my experience.
It is just that sometimes it gets tough.
-
-
I can 'prettty much' deal with it now; however, I can't say I didn't have frustration. I'm a kinder and more caring person than I think I would have been without my AA,
I want to say the right thing for the people in their teens going through this and I just don't know what to say. Other than to tell them that at some point, it will get easier.. In the meantime, do all the things (safely) that your doctors tell you to do.
Nice to meat you sakschi!
-
-
Well, I am still working on the 'being kind' part. But yes, I am doing all I can. I feel so relieved for having had a real conversation for the first time in ten years, with someone who has gone through what I went through too. No matter how much my parents tried to make me happy and be sympathetic, there was always that empathy which lacked.
Its wonderful to talk to you Tovah. Thanks!
-
-
Sakschi, thank you so much for the friendship. I just read, again, your page on what you've gone through,
I will say that once I opened up to people about my alopecia, it's been a lot easier than waiting for people to 'let me know I was balding'.
I have spent thousands on this disease and now I just wear extensions or wigs, which are horrible in the arizona heat.
Be well,
Tovah
-
-
Yeah Tovah you are absolutely right. I have started coming out of the closet and hope to make progress with ti. Thank you so much for your wishes
Sakschi
-
-
Well, you definitely don't deserve that guy. Being bald shouldn't be an issue in the first place. Soon, all will be seen as equal. :)
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
