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Could really use some words of advice or encouragement today
Well the inevitable handful of hair that follows a shower seems to have doubled in size today. So sad to see all of my hair in a pile in the sink. Trying to maintain
my composure over the situation by reminding myself that it's "just hair" but that huge hairball in the sink is MY hair. And it's supposed to be on my head.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Virginia on
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It's hard and it's okay to grieve. It has been a part of your physical identity for so long and now you have to adapt to it's absence. I was in denial for so long, I would spend 2 hrs pinning and hair spraying to cover my thinning hair. Eventually, I shaved my head and fought to embrace myself as I am. I feel exposed,vulnerable and oddly liberated. It takes time, to find YOU without hair. Your hair does not define you, no matter what society wants you to believe. I wish my hair would grow back thick as it once was, but that won't happen. So, now I get two more hours of sleep in the morning and save a fortune on hair products. I think the best thing that has come from my hair loss is how it has made be grow as a person. I am not so quick to judge and I know who my friends are. It is a great time saver, my bald head filters out the shallow people in my life. I want to be around people who care about important things, who want to experience life, and not miss out on something extraordinary because they are too concerned with what others think. Love yourself, you are extraordinary, one of a kind, embrace it; soak up life, don't let anything hold you back. Morn your hair, cry, let it out- then take a breath and embrace the fresh and fabulous YOU.
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Permalink Reply by Pat on
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There's no easy way of dealing with this. It's traumatic to see your hair fall out. It's losing a part of yourself that's played a huge role in your appearance. It takes time to accept the new you. Unlike Virginia I wear wigs and have got used to doing that after 20+ years of AU. I hope your hair stops shedding and regrowth happens but if it doesn't you will learn how to cope in a way that feels right for you. So many of us have. xo
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Permalink Reply by Ann Wilson on
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I love your response. I've had AU for 18 years and have definitely gotten used to being without hair. You're right, it does save a lot of time and money. I haven't been able to go out in public without a wig though. I wish I could. I give you lots of credit!
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Permalink Reply by kryssiecat on
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"Just keep moving. Sometimes you don't get to keep everything you started out with."
I have no suggestions on how to go through the grieving process. You just have to move through it in your own way at your own pace and try not to get stuck in the negativity. I shaved my head a little over a month ago and I feel so much better but there are days where I get sad and I miss my hair. It's like a breaking up with someone you love, only time truly helps.
Sometimes, a freak out is warranted. Feel free to lose it and cry and throw a tanrum, just realize it's a release and not a problem solver. I hope you feel better today.
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It definitely is traumatic to lose your hair but right away when I lost it all, 18 years ago now, because I was working and it's a good thing I was, I decided I had to press on and do what needed to be done. I got a wig and kept going. I hope you will be able to do the same. Has it affected my emotions at times? Yes, but not like it used to and I get over it. I'm very thankful I don't have cancer, MS, quadraplegia,etc. I do have an eye problem which has limited my sight somewhat and also arthritis and COPD but I keep going and adjust my life in whatever way I need to. I think AU has made me a stronger person in many ways.
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Permalink Reply by Abgail on
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I learnt something very important from some of the others alopecians. Everyone is different and it shows in the way they carry themselves and how they use the options given to them like wigs, hats and etc. Wigs aren't for everyone and sometimes even going out bald. Personally it took me 10 years and the right people to be able to go out bald. Even these days I like the comfort of hats though I often switch my options according to my moods. Though I give you a tons more credit for being able to stand the wig.Personally I rather take a hat.Wink wink beautiful.Chin up. And its alright to grieve and scream,vent and rant. You know I went through all the emotions when I was losing my hair...And even some days I still have days where its just ain't fair..Why can't I be a hairy werewolf for once!!!
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Permalink Reply by michelle on
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You are absolutely right! Its your hair and it is supposed to be on your head! Losing your hair is extremely traumatic!!!! You are grieving and there is no such thing is its 'just hair'. I started losing my hair 2 years ago and as of november I have lost all of my hair on my body. Take a lot of deep breaths and give yourself the time and permission to grieve this loss.....and it is a loss. This isn't about feeling sorry for yourself...its about moving forward one step at a time....until acceptance....and you will get there.
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Permalink Reply by Jules on
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losing your hair is awful, really awful and there is no sugar coating it. the feeling of seeing it go down the drain in clumps is horrible. i will never forget my shower being completely blocked that it flooded and i had to spend an hour unblocking all the hair from down the plug hole. at that point i had a meltdown and was like why me! so the stage you are at is natural. allow yourself to grieve, losing your hair is so traumatic. it is a part of your body. then pick yourself up. the picking up is the crucial part. i refuse to be sad because of my condition and i refuse to have any less of a life because of it. to be honest it makes me do more and it makes me more confident. it is like a mini challenge every day and i make it my aim to rise to it. i also treat myself a lot lol so i have an awesome collection of clothes and jewellery. not sure if anything here has helped, other than i totally feel your pain i have been there.. the watching and the waiting for it to fall is torture. i got in quick the second time round and shaved it all off.. best thing you can do in my opinion! keep going, it will and does get easier :-)
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Permalink Reply by Dena on
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It just plain sucks. I still remember those sinking feelings when my daughter's hair was coming out in handfuls. I can honestly say it was the worst. All the months of wondering if it was going to happen and then it does. She is only 6 and was really scared. A lot of tears were shed at first. Funny thing is after a certain amount of time we moved on. Things got better. The worst happened and we were o.k. I think we are stronger because of it. She has embraced her uniqueness. Things are pretty normal these days. It still is hard sometimes, but for the most part people are supportive. The unknown is the hardest part. Give yourself time, nobody loses there hair and are fine with it right away. But in time a lot of people learn to live with it. Hopefully this is only temporary. Good luck.
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