Alopecia World
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Depressed
I live in the Saint Louis area and i am having a hard time making new friends. Other than my husband, I have no friends. I really feel like my condition ( alopecia totalis), has affected my social life.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by LINDA N on
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Hi Lisa, I went through the same thing(still is) but the new friends you find on aplopecia world it makes a lot of difference. They have given me some good advise....I have come to realize that being BALD doesn't make who we are I am.. I'm the same person as I was before ...just without hair.... Maybe we can get together and have lunch..
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Permalink Reply by Melissa on
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Hi Lisa. In what way do you feel that AA has affected your social life? For example, is it your AA that has affected your ability to reach out to new people or do you feel that new people are reacting poorly to your AA? Have you lost any of your old friends because of your AA or are you the one creating distance?
I know personally, that AA (and now my AU) has taken a toll on my self esteem. In the past, when meeting new people (especially when dating) it's on my mind a lot. That can totally affect my ability to be my outgoing self. Others can sense awkwardness...which does create obstacles to forming relationships.
I haven't met many people who react poorly to my AA but when they have, it hasn't been my problem; it's theirs. Life has a way of weeding out people that don't mesh with you. Do your part to be your beautiful self and others will see that. If they can't, don't worry about it. You don't need friends that can't see you for who you really are. Many people cross our paths in a lifetime and most of them fade away through the years. It's the select few that stay that are really worth our time and energy.
Maybe a different outlook will help you with obstacles you have in creating new relationships: I personally don't hold it against my friends if they have teeth missing or if one appendage is larger than the other or if they aren't physically perfect. Most people in some way are self conscious about their bodies...how do you know they aren't wondering when they meet you if you'll be friends with them despite their limp or lisp or medical condition? Don't let AA get in the way of knowing people completely - it's just ONE part of you, not all of you. Trust me, real friends don't care about hair or rarely see hair loss when in the company of someone they really care about. I guess the question is, do you?
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Permalink Reply by Lisa on
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Melissa
Thanks for the inspirational words. I have lost friends in the past due to my AA. You are right, real friends should love you and accept you despite the imperfections. Thanks. God Bless
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Yes, we do move forward (because we have no choice) but I agree...it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. She's fortunate to have a mom that knows what she's going through. :)
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Permalink Reply by Sherry Stalnaker on
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Hi Lisa!! I agree with what Melissa says sweetie. I went through all those emotions you are gong through, as well as everyone else that has aa or au or any baldness for that matter. I felt soo all alone. But guess what hun, once I accepted myself and stopped being afraid that everyone would notice I was wearing a wig, the good LORD sent people with AA & AU my way !! It was exciting to meet people with my same condition. I would notice people with no eyebrows or hair on their arms etc. and I would just walk up to them and ask if Alopecia meant any thing to them and 9 times out of 10 the answer was yes, and we would talk and giggle and I would give them my telephone # and e-mail address and voile' I would go on my way smiling and feeling so less alone. This site has raised my spirits tremendously. I feel a part of something once again!! Thank God for all of you in here and modern technology that enables us to communicate with one another so. Feel free to get in contact with me at anytime..sherryanns@msn.com
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