Im just having such bad couple days, Ill do good for days then become overwhelmed that I will look this way for the rest of my life. I just want to not care what I look like! I feel so vain that Im so concerned how I look... but I do. I hate having the lack of confidence that has cone with this Disease. Im tired of waking up with the feeling of dread that I have to go through another day hairless. Im so heartbroken that no matter what clothes I wear, I look in the mirror and feel " whats the point? I look like a freak" I cant even pull off wearing a hat, it looks like Im trying to cover up chemo, and no eyebrows make hat look so "off" I always,ALWAYS have the hairless thing on my mind up front or in the back. I just want to not care... how the hell do you get to that place of complete acceptance??? And Im tired of looks from people as if "that guy looks so weird"