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Does this ever become easier?
Im just having such bad couple days, Ill do good for days then become overwhelmed that I will look this way for the rest of my life. I just want to not care what I look like! I feel so vain that Im so concerned how I look... but I do. I hate having the lack of confidence that has cone with this Disease. Im tired of waking up with the feeling of dread that I have to go through another day hairless. Im so heartbroken that no matter what clothes I wear, I look in the mirror and feel " whats the point? I look like a freak" I cant even pull off wearing a hat, it looks like Im trying to cover up chemo, and no eyebrows make hat look so "off" I always,ALWAYS have the hairless thing on my mind up front or in the back. I just want to not care... how the hell do you get to that place of complete acceptance??? And Im tired of looks from people as if "that guy looks so weird"
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tom on
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It does get easier as time goes by. It's easier for us guys than it is for women. You talk about the way people look at you. It took me years so feeling that way until I was showen I was wrong. You don't get looked at any more than anyone else. When I walked anyplace where there were people I could feel them looking at me and I knew what they were thinking. Well I was wrong. Any time you walk into a restaurant or bar or office or anywhere else people look up to see who came in. It's human nature. They really weren't staring at me I was so ashamed I thought they were. And I really don't know what they are thinking because I can't read minds. Get a good friend to help you through this. Or see a good therapist. Doesn't take that much work to get yourself back out in public and feeling good about yourself again. Do it your worth it!!
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Permalink Reply by Return_life on
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Easier for men? not really. women are shallow and looks matter for men and women.
women have much more options... makeup and wigs can do wonders!
I like the fact ur positive but being AU is not looking normal or part of human nature, it does look weirdo or like a freak.
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I'm sorry you feel that way. But to be honest I have many many friends who would never call me a freak and would be extremely upset if they heard you say it. It's all about perception. You are what you think you are.
I also have a lady friend who I love very much . She doesn't think I'm a freak either.
So you can go through life ashamed of who you are and what you think you look like. It's just part of who you are. Men everywhere are shaving their heads. I think they do it because they like the way it looks.my advice for what you think it's worth is throw the damn hat away and be yourself.Your fine the way you are but you can't handle it. Man up and get on with your life.
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I don't wear a hat. shaving head is fine! it's more the eyebrowless eyelashless and severe nail pitting...
if u have AU you should know that it looks more like a condition than a style. it can often be mistaken for chemo... it does look strange a bit. getting a tan helps a bit but let's be honest and say the truth, it sucks big time
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You ever try fake eyebrows from hardcovers ? They make fairly decent men's eyebrows which I received last month. Still have 30% of my own eyebrows so they blend in and look convincing but even when my own are gone 100% these will pass the visual test. Just an idea maybe.
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thanks for the suggestion. I ordered some a few years ago... it looked really bad. not natural at all. am on xeljanz, will give news soon
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Can you post pictures?
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pictures of fake eyebrows or my progress on xeljanz?
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Permalink Reply by Sad1995 on
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Tom you are single at 59 years old. That's all I have to say about universalis. Women think you are ugly and hideous and deep down we both know you that you know that. So let's not pretend that it gets better. It has gotten better for you. I know that you know that we know that I know. A shaved looks nothing like a bald AU or AT head. Don't try to compare. It never gets easier for men. Never does. I wish people would stop this nonsense. But alopecia is much harder on men than women. Women are unforgiving when a man is not handsome. Men don't care very much as long as a woman is generally considered attractive. Accepting alopecia is very easy. Accepting that women think I'm ugly is very hard. Accepting that my dating life is going to be terrible is very hard. Accepting that I can't just go out to a bar or club and flirt with girls and just enjoy myself is very hard. So to answer your question. No OP it never gets easier or better.
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omg u nailed it...
u speak the truth without sugarcoating. it's hard but like u said, I know that u know that we know that I know.
I hate it when they compare shaving with AU. lol, seriously u guys are trying to convince who???
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Permalink Reply by Rascalx2 on
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I see guys w shaved heads all the time, I find myself comparing.. if I had a "choice" to grow scruff or stubble well that might be a choice... to be honest the bald head does not bother me as much as no brows or beard. I feel like I look as I have a condition, guys i see who shaved their head dont look as though they have a condition, theres no definition to a smooth bald face, I tried the fake eyebrows and they look like a costume for groucho marx.. Ive been trying subtle makeup under brow line to add some definition to face, but I am still afraid or so aware that it us noticable.... and vy the way, any wig I have seen on a male is ridiculous! Females can have a long wig and you cant notice. I get so pissed when people reply by saying at least your a guy w no hair!
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Sad. I know how you feel. Been there . But it still comes down to a choice. Feel sorry for yourself or don't feel sorry for yourself and just go live your life..
Ive been where your at. I had to make a decision to either give up or not. It's the only life you have. I refuse to waste my life hiding! We have Alopecia we can't do anything about that. But to make the blanket statement your a freak and no one can love you is your decision. Your way more than just your hair. Give yourself more credit than that.
I think I'm fortunate to have had to fight just to stay alive several times. I have friends who would give anything to just have being bald as their only problem.
And it is much more socially acceptable for men to be bald than for it is for women. And there are many beautiful women on this site who wear wigs or don't. It's all about choice.
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