Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Karen's Wigs on August 22, 2009 at 3:47pm

Hi Joanne - you are not alone. You have found the best place on the web to share your feelings with people who have walked in your shoes. Explore this site and you will discover a world of help and understanding. Your kids are resilient and love you unconditionally.

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Permalink Reply by Ronda on August 23, 2009 at 10:45pm

HI Joanne,
It is hard at times and then it get easier.
I lost all my hair last year.
At first I felt sorry for myself but I have a great family and they love me for myself and not my hair.
They are always there for me.
I have 3 grandkids and they are so cute about me and my hair.
I have several wigs and I ask their opinion of the wigs and they are very honest.
We play with the wigs and they laugh.
Each one tries them on.
So hang in there .
We all care about you and We are here to help in any way we can.
I have enjoyed this website in sooo many ways.
Just reading and understanding where every one comes from, because I can relate.
So if we can help just let us know..

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Permalink Reply by joannesummerside on August 26, 2009 at 5:18pm

thanks rhonda just talkin to someone with the same thing helps alot cos others dont understand.

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Permalink Reply by Leanne Telford on August 24, 2009 at 10:54am

Hi Joanne,
I know exactly what you are going through I at the moment do not feel able to cope with this. I have only had aa since June this year and I am still trying to come to terms with it...I do find that i am feeling sorry for myself alot and that nobody else understands.
I have not yet lost all of my hair i have a bald patch on the top of my head which I have been managing to cover up with the rest of my hair but just yesterday I found another bald patch and thats when it really hit home.
It does seem hard but I have a family who loves me no matter what I look like and im sure your family are the same...

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Permalink Reply by Diana Hastings on August 31, 2009 at 12:39pm

Hi Joanne
Know how you feel. As a completely hairless lady (married with 3 grownup kids & 1 grandchild) I show a strong face to the world but still feel near to tears at least once every day. I tell myself not to be silly as there are many worse things that can happen but it really does hit your confidence does'nt it. It does get better though and my husband and kids are great about it although only some-one who has gone through it really understands.
My greatest loss are my eyelashes and nasal hair - I can cope with a wig, turbans, scarves etc. although I don't have the courage to go out in public without something on my head although I always think everyone recognises that its a wig.
Anyway, this is meant to be about me empathising with you and being encouraging. I'm sure you are still as attractive as you always were. Its just we do look very strange 'au naturel' with no hair, eyebrows or lashes but a bit of makeup and a wig works wonders when we have to face the world.
When i was younger I used to think that people got more confident with age - now I know its just we get better at 'putting on a confident front' and i also think i am more accepting nowadays. This would have really floored me if it had happened when I was a teenager for example. Reading the comments from some of the younger members who are obviously coping so well, makes me feel a little ashamed of myself but, thats the way it is. We are all different.
Try to stay positive and enjoy the support of your family. Diana

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Permalink Reply by joannesummerside on September 2, 2009 at 2:43pm

thanks diane i suppose its just going to take time to adjust n pray one day i might have my hair back its nice to chat to someone from here and my kids do keep me going they are coming to terms with it now.it must be hard for them im like jekel n hide somedays they dont no how to have me and ive never been like that before hope to talk soon bye.

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Permalink Reply by Diana Hastings on September 2, 2009 at 3:34pm

Joanne, thanks for adding me as a friend. I really do hope your hair comes back - I'm sure we all really wish for that for ourselves as well. Now this is the (very) hard bit - instead of spending all the time wishing for it to come back, please try and accept yourself they way you are for now. Your family still love you, you are the same person inside - just feeling very, very vulnerable. (probably lots more things too like sorrow, anger etc) its a bit like a bereavement is'nt it - only it's our identity we feel we've lost with our hair cos we don't look like ourselves any more.
I have found reading the comments and discussions on this site has helped so much - just knowing other people feel the same and are going through the same or similar experiences to us. I hope you find it helps you too.
Although we have not met, if you were here now I would offer you a friendly hug (it might help). Try to keep strong - it will get easier I'm sure, Diana x

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Permalink Reply by Mel on September 3, 2009 at 7:41am

Hi Joanne,
As everyone else has added, never feel like ur alone or feel bad for struggling with your hairloss. its a large part of being a female and I think we all have to go through a mourning stage. I started lossing mine in large patches about a year ago and it all fell out about march this year. There were many days that I couldn't get out of bed because I was so sad and then there were days when i would just sit around and sob all day. my poor mum was so distressed seeing me sad all the time. but it does get easier. the best coping mechinism for me has been having fun with my wigs. I have one human hair wig which matches what my hair looked like and 5 synthetic wigs ranging from blond to long and curly. Its so much fun being able to be a different person each day.
your family love you no matter what and are probs the best support system you could find.
Though if it does feel like it all gets too much, go and see your GP for extra support.
Keep strong!

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Permalink Reply by Joshua on September 3, 2009 at 8:04am

Hi Joanne,

I'm sad to hear about your tough experiences lately but glad that you're sharing your grief with us. You never have to cry alone because we're all hear to listen and would definitely lend you our shoulders if you ever need one. I believe its true that all alopecia patients will not be the same person anymore BECAUSE they have all "embark" (NO CHOICE) on a journey that make them a stronger and better person.

We may have little hair, we may even feel unattractive...but it doesnt mean that we're not loved. Physical attraction only last for a decade or two or most 50 years after that the reality of biology sets in, however a personality attraction like a genuine smile, a kind heart or a jovial personality last for a life-time and even more than it. I was once told that if there is only one physical feature that represents physical beauty- it would be the "smile" and the second feature would be the "eyes". I feel extremely sad for those who couldnt smile (with facial paralysis, nervous disorder...etc) or congenitally blind. But I always remind myself that when their "smile" are restored and "eyes" are recovered, they DEFINITELY will be the most beautiful of all!

jt

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Permalink Reply by Susan S on September 15, 2009 at 12:49am

I do. I feel the same way, I can't stop crying. I have other health problems (is this considered a health problem?), one potentially serious, but losing my hair is killing me. I'm losing more and more hair every time i look in the mirror, which I'm doing 3X a day for a treatment that is not working. I feel like I should be handling this better but can't seem to. I'll distract myself for a few hours, then it's like a wave of grief comes over me and I cry again.

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Permalink Reply by Trixie on September 17, 2009 at 4:48pm

Ive felt the same way. I have almost became a hermit if I do go out its with friends at their houses, only recently have I really been out out in public. although I am starting to feel a bit more comfortable with myself I still feel very unattractive. My son doesnt seem to be bothered my it at all he rubs my head when i take my wig off and when I tuck him in at night. My friends are very supportive I was always the type to to outlandish things with my appearance so in that aspect they are used to my having different coloured hair. All of my friends that I have told have said the same thing "Im still the came person".
I dont feel like Im the same person and I still do cry a lot. I first noticed patched in february, I was diagnosed with AA in May I had to shave my head in July. Ive been very depressed from the begining and really only in the past 2 weeks have started to come out of it some. I just time, hang in there.

Trixie

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