Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Extremely self-conscious about my wig
Hi all, so glad to have found this forum. :)
This is my first post, so I want to give a little background info on myself. My name is Laura, I'm 23 years old and have been dealing with supposed androgenetic alopecia since I was 11 years old (when I hit puberty). My hair has continued to thin since then and for the past 4-5 months I've been wearing a wig. Buying a wig was a really, REALLY difficult decision for me. I was practically bald when I bought my wig - it had gotten to the point where the only way to conceal my scalp was with nearly half a bottle of Toppik. When I put my hair in a pony tail was/is probably half the size of my pinky finger. It was extremely embarrassing, but I found the concept of suddenly wearing a wig to be just as embarrassing.
I cried multiple times during wig consultations before I finally stopping moping around and bought my first. It's a nice Estetica human hair wig, but I've been having some major issues... most likely because I'm still sort of in denial and know nothing about wigs. I hate the fact that everyone I know clearly is aware that I wear a wig. I really want a new wig but am worried about the sudden change in wigs... I really don't want a single person to comment on it.
I am in a relationship and he was with me when I was practically bald, and he's with me now that I wear a wig. It makes me uncomfortable that he never comments on it so I don't really feel comfortable taking it off in front of him... not sure why. I'm still so new to this whole wig thing. I just wish I knew ONE other person that wore a wig...
ANYWAYS, I bought my wig at an awful, overpriced wig shop. The lady put 3 clips in, clipped them in to my nearly nonexistent hair, and sent me on my way. If I place my hand on my scalp it slips every which way. My hair seems too thin for the clips to really grab it. This is okay if I'm not moving... but seriously... I'm constantly worried about it falling off. That would be an absolute nightmare for me. I also hate the thought of never swimming again. I can't wear my hair up at the gym because when I put it up, it pulls and makes the wig slip back off my scalp. It's MISERABLE. Oh, and lets not even talk about how it holds up in the bedroom...
I just want to be normal. I just want to go to an amusement park and not worry about my wig flying off. I want to go swimming without looking bald or covered in some sort of hair net. I want to go to the gym and be able to put my hair up. I feel like I'm CONSTANTLY readjusting/pulling up my wig.
Can anyone offer me some advice on helping my wig stay put? I don't use wig caps because when I've used them in the past, they slip off just as easily if not moreso than just a wig. If my wig would stay put, I feel like my confidence would skyrocket.
Thanks so much for reading!! :)
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by karma on
-
Hey Laura!
I have the same type hair loss as you, so I get it... It's like no definitive answer and instead of just falling out it dies off slowly over years so you're stuck in that torture of watching it... You still have some hair and and are afraid to shave it because with our type of hair loss, once it's gone it's gone for good and we have plenty of years ahead of us ... I wore a few cheap wigs for a bit while I saved up for a Peggy knite Follea... I got the lifestyle one because I still have some hair and with the gripper I'd have had to shave it... I figured that by the time I'm ready for another one (and have that kind of money saved) I mite just go with the gripper and shave what's left... Pros: 1. It's not a preset wig and each hair is placed in a way that it looks pretty natural.. 2. It's lace front and I think the best hairline I've seen on a wig (so if your not into bangs that's important 3. Best quality of hair I've come across in wigs 4. Light weight and not itchy (flas far a wigs go) cons 1. Expensive (like 3k for mine) 2. I wouldn't wear it swimming or to the gym (I've fallen asleep in it but rarely) once you spend a year saving up you won't want to ruin one either 3. Sometimes it slides a little (and I have a low natural hairline so that does t help)....I have scalp pain so clips aren't an option as far as I'm concerned, I tried tape once while wearing synthetic...took me about an hour and a good amount of hairloss to get it out (painful).... What I recommend is getting a wig grip they're pretty comfortable and I use a velvet type one but I'm thinking about trying a gel type one to see if it will work... If it does I mite see it in and see if I can make it a unit...but if I put it on tight and secure the wig properly I can swing my head around without worrying about it falling off... Im also weird about taking it off around ppl even guys I date... They know I wear a wig, but I still wear one of many cute hats to bed
-
Permalink Reply by Tony on
-
My daughter is 21 and went through the same issues. We finally concluded that the wig place where we purchased her first wig was not the best place for us so we went to another store (actually several) and found one finally to be much more sympathetic to our situation and far more helpful. It took awhile but ultimately she was able to express her feelings to her boyfriend and he was very supportive. I suspect that the time will come that you will have a similar conversation with your boyfriend and if he is truly a good person and your friend he will be by your side and with you ......or he isn't worth having. I've seen my daughter's confidence and self system grow over time with some set backs along the way. I believe things happen for a reason and we are on this earth to make a difference. It took some doing but I was able to get the HR Benefits people at my employer to now cover wigs (up to $500 for now) for any Alopecia diagnosis. I'll work on them to up the amount in time. You are a beautiful young lady. Best of luck to you!
-
Permalink Reply by Dedi on
-
Good morning! I completely understand where you are coming from. I actually started losing my hair at 21 (2004) while in college! I was able to do the comb over until 2008...when I finally started wearing wigs! Wigs...or weave in general for someone who HAVE to wear them can be a difficult discussion in general! I use to buy them from the hair supply store..but they were more noticeable...so I started making my own with the help of my beautician friends! We simply apply them onto a stocking "wig cap" as if we were applying or gluing them to my head with a shower cap underneath my stocking cap so it won't stick to my head, but can be peeled off and wore multiple times. They last any where from two weeks to two months! I haven't bought real expensive hair yet! I keep them on with either a small clip comb that they have in wigs or with bobby pins to the already thinning hair! I no longer am able to put clips at the top...so I clip it on the sides and back. There are days with pain...but on those days I pop a few Tylenols...readjust my clips or bobby pins and just suck it up! I wore lace fronts before but for the laced part actually irritated my front and caused scratches and some further hair loss because of the lace. If it is not cut properly..the lace can cut a bit. I wore them for like 6 months...but they are ok. My biggest issue is the fact that I work with kids...they don't understand the "appropriate" discussion rule...i.e. my hair is off of the discussion! They ask constantly if it's my hair...why do I wear wigs...one even threatened to pull it off! And the list goes on.
I just had to realize that this is what I am faced with and I try to get over it. Does it suck?!?! ABSOLUTELY!!!!! But it's only when you are comfortable...that others will be comfortable too! For your boyfriend...the fact that he is sticking around and loves you through this is a testament in itself! He may not no what to say or how to compliment you, but when and if he sees you are confident in how you look and what you wear then he will be more applicable to talk to you or compliment you on how you look! He's reserved...because you are reserved! I had my doctor to write a letter to my gym that it is a medical reason why I wear my scarf to the gym instead of me having to ruin my wig or worry about keeping it on. Sometimes it's annoying...but either I workout or I don't! Same with swimming...I don't swim because of this...and wearing head scarves in the pool aren't that easy. So I understand the issue...and being young don't really help either. People with hair that have weave and wig choices don't really understand the fact that it's difficult when you ultimately don't have a choice. But I just fine hope in the little things like being thankful that I have the finances to buy and wear them verses struggling and can't afford to purchase quality hair products.
-
-
Hi Laura,
I have had alopecia for almost one year and have been wearing wigs for 10 months. I had the same experience where the first time I bought a wig it was not a great experience. The people were very nice but didn't really understand my situation. I found the lace wigs very uncomfortable. One of my friends knew someone else who has had it for many years and she introduced us. It really helped to talk to someone who knows the ins and outs of what we deal with every day. This woman told me about www.wigsalon.com and now that is where I get my wigs. They are inexpensive and adjustable, so you can just pull the tabs tight and never worry about slipping or falling off. They don't last as long but they have been wonderful for me. I also have an expensive real hair wig but I don't feel as comfortable in it and it doesn't look as much like "me". Please let me know if you would like to talk further!
-
Permalink Reply by Wendy on
-
Hi Laura,
First of all, welcome. I am new to this site as well, but ,give you my two cents.
1. Keeping the wig from slipping. I have the same problem with the clips, because my hair is too thin for the clips to grasp on to. I have found wig tape to be Much better. Go to any beauty supply store and buy two sided wig tape. Put a piece in the front and one on each side about 1 pr 2 inches front the front piece. You may need to play with placement to find the right place for your hair.
2. Swimming, working out. I share the same issue and though this site found an amazing website that makes swim and work out wigs. It's called hatswithhair.com. I'm in the process of ordering one and so excited. Can't tell you from personal experience since I don't have mine yet! but a wonderful girl I met in this site says it's amazing.
3. Self consciousness - I'm accepting my situation, but it is hard. I actually like what my wig looks like. it's better than my old hair and certainly better than my lack of hair that I have now. Get a wig that you love. And please, find a caring wig consultant who is helpful and understanding. Sounds like the person that you are working with is NOT helping your situation.
4. Accepting your wiggy self. I've decided to just embrace it and be open about it. When a friend says, your hair looks good, I say thanks, but it's not my hair, but who ever originally had this hair does have Amazing hair. Sometimes I not sure what to say, when to say nothing and when to say its a wig. I still struggle with it at times, but it's my life now and I just have to move forward and be happy. The one thing I don't want is to feel like is that I'm hiding something all the time. I don't want to be the person who pretends it's my hair and people whisper about behind my back saying its a wig. So I prefer to just embrace it and be open.
Anyway, I wish you the best and send many hugs to you Laura. I know it's hard, but life is precious and you deserve to be happy.
-
Permalink Reply by Danielle on
-
Hi, reading your post has really amazed me, so much of it is so similar to the way I feel as well, so you are definitely not alone in the way you are feeling. I'm 25 years old, diagnosed with alopecia when I was 15. I wore wigs probably close to two years about 2 years ago, and then my hair started to regrow again and I went back to my real hair, but unfortunately it's back to the point where I'm on the search for another wig which is highly upsetting for me. I cried the first time I bought my wig and I'm sure it will happen this time again. For me the difficulty comes in to or not to tell the people I work with that this is a wig, last time I just "pretended" it was my real hair (when I started there I was already wearing my wig), I work at a dermatology office and I think my boss will know right off its a wig which is embarrassing. I got out of a relationship 10 months ago, my now ex was with me through the whole worsening process and wig wearing too, I actually buzzed my hair so my wig would fit better, and he told me that he liked my hair that short (perhaps he was just being nice) but now that I'm single I'm thinking to myself how and when do you introduce that to someone new? Before you tell them you have to worry about them touching your hair (I too sometimes worry about the wig shifting or falling off) your eyebrows rubbing off (I have to pencil mine on) with the right person all this shouldn't matter, but it sucks that this is something extra that has
To be worried about. I realize that I did not really answer any of your concerns, but I hope it's at least comforting to know you're not alone in what you are feeling :) Danielle
-
-
Hi! It sounds like you and I are in the same boat!
I also got alopecia when I was jut about 11 and it stunk! I hated the clip in wigs and extensions, they ripped the little amount if hair I had left out of my head! It was horrible and I completely sympathize with you!!
Last year I found out about a Follea Sport Grip Wig, it is designed with silicon on the inside so that it sticks to your head like a suction cup so that even if someone were to pull it, it still won't come off!!
It works best on bald heads, but I still keep a lot of hair on my head and it works just fine, you may just want to cut your hair short.
The hair is beautiful and even my closest friends don't know I wear a wig! It looks so real and I can let people play with it and braid it without them noticing it's a wig!
I am a water skier, swimmer, and lacrosse player and this wig is great!! I wear it on roller coasters too!! I just wear a small headband for extra protection during sports and wear a swim cap when I race (but if you are just recreational swimming you should only need to wear a headband).
This wig has changed my life it's amazing and comfortable to sleep in if you choose too!! It is expensive but you won't regret it! I hope it works out for you! Good luck!!!
-
-
Hi Laura
My name is Julie I'm 36. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 28 and since then my hair has never grown back. It's a shock to never have your hair back. I too hates that the wig would never stay on. I found the double stick tape and it would work but I found another solution that is my new best friend. Your hair will never move and is very cheap. If you go into the hair section at a pharmacy their is a product called got to be glued spiking gel. It's a yellow bottle and cost about $5 and it last for a long time. This has saved me. I just apply a bit on my forehead and put on my wig. I'm good for the whole day. I don't wear my wig at the gym or swimming. That would be your choice. I don't know how well it would hold in the water. I usually just wear a hat. When I wash my hair the glue washes off. I hope this helps you. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.
-
Permalink Reply by Dianna 845 on
-
Does " got to be glued " work with a lace front?? Thank you..
-
-
Well, I don't know where you all live, but MANY people in NYC wear a wig. And all sorts of other nonsense; no one cares! It is hard; it's different to HAVE to wear a wig. I cried too; my boyfriend wasn't very helpful. I think many men don't know what to say...but they care less than you would think. Just remember that most people are totally self-centered and not thinking about your wig! There are great wigs on line. A good wigs is expensive but worth it. Maybe you could get one or two every day ones and some cheaper fun ones. Once everyone knows you might as well go for it. And maybe you need to try a different wig cap? With bobby pins? I haven't had this particular problem myself; I use the nylon caps. I wish you all the luck in the world...you are not alone!!!
-
Permalink Reply by dANNII3 on
-
Hi Laura, I am 20 years old I lost my all of my hair within a week when I was 12 years old and I have wore wigs ever since. It definetly takes time to get use to wearing wigs and learn what looks good on you and what doesn't but I have a wig addiction and I love wearing them lol but if you feel uncomfortable buying wigs you can order them online they are way cheaper and you can try them on in the comfort of your own home. So try hairsisters.com and wig-parlor.com and also if u need help with styles don't be afraid to explore your wig and try new things and also YouTube is a big help good luck Laura and remember you can do it!!!! You will find that one wig that looks great in you and you will fall In love.
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
