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Permalink Reply by cindy Babs on December 21, 2011 at 10:01am

you rock all of your different looks. i think u r very "real". i don't know that you'd be hiding whether u r wearing a shawl , wig, or nothing.if you don't like or feel yourself in a certain head cover then that even more supports how "reaL" of a person you are. you show that you have the courage and confidence to let people realize you are not hiding at all. changing it up from wig to shawl shouldn't affect people negatively. in fact i think they will admire your "real" you even more for having the confidence. i think you are already a great role model for anyone dealing with alopecia. i admire you.
happy holidays! :)

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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on December 21, 2011 at 3:42pm

Hi Josephine

I don't think you have a big problem, but I do think you have an issue that most people with alopecia face.

As you have realised wearing a headcover, whether that be a Freedom Wig, Lace Wig or shawl doesn't change you or who you are. What it does do is give you the opportunity to present yourself in a way that you feel comfortable. Wearing a headcover is just a choice and it is one that can be fun and liberating. If you are using it to hide a part of you that you aren't comfortable with then you might need to do a little work on why you are feeling like that - and also know these feeling aren't unusual when dealing with alopecia areata, you are doing a good job with dealing to this as it really is never easy.

Having alopecia is not a choice and that is where it becomes confusing and sometimes overwhelming. Are you your condition? Or is your condition just part of who you are? (there are many ways to look at this and you just need to find out what way suits you and your personality)

For my daughter who is a little older than you, she prefers alopecia to be a small part of who she is never to be denied and ashamed about, but also never to take centre stage. You and her didn't ask for this to happen to you so there should be no embarrassment around it. (Even though sometimes that's easier said than done). Also, I feel the choice on how you present yourself should be yours to do as you wish. You don't have to kick anyone's butt to make that choice, you just need to know your own wants. My daughter has a few Freedom Wigs of varying styles, everybody knows she wears a wig, but nobody feels she is hiding anything - she is open about her condition but doesn't feel she has to show everyone just because that makes their curiosity disappear. If she feels very comfortable with people she couldn't give a tinkers if they see her without her hair. She knows she has hairloss so do all the people that care about her. She prefers to present herself to the world with hair because she never wanted to have no hair (THE NO CHOICE THING). But she doesn't feel like she is hiding behind her choice. But her working through how this was going to work for her may be different to your want - and that's ok. You are different people with different needs.

I think you look pretty fab in all your looks and I'm pretty sure you would look cute without a headcovering, but I don't suppose what I think is the important thing, it's more what you think and why you think it. Do what makes you comfortable and happy and I guarantee everybody around you will accept that as being good.

Rosy

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Permalink Reply by Karen Smith on December 22, 2011 at 9:02am

You are adorable in all your looks.You are still young enough to get wigs donated to you from celebritystylewigs or hair club america. You might want to get extras there. You are not hiding if you wear wigs.

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