Alopecia World
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Going without a wig or head cover
Will I ever feel comfortable going without my wig or head covered? I just can't seem to get there and I have not had any hair for 3 1/2 years. A lot of times when I go out just with a bandana on I have strangers come up to me and ask me what type of cancer I have. I try to make it a positive opportunity and introduce them to our disease, but it still doesn't make it less comfortable or easier.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Norm on
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Hi Deanna, - that's a tough question, but I think the only one who can answer it is you - it's all about how you feel, and no-one else can say what's right or wrong.
I can tell you about my experiences though, 35 years ago, before it was fashionable for fellas to have no hair. I'd shaved mine off when I got to 2/3rds bald, and although I was OK with it, it wasn't easy to go out "naked". But I found that the more I did it, the less it was an issue... and that it was easier when I was in a "controlled" environment, e.g. in a car. That way, I felt there was still a layer between me and the world - although they could see, they couldn't comment or react, and it was easy for me to pull on a hat or whatever. Then, after I'd got comfortable with that, I could venture out "fully exposed" bit by bit... until I got to the stage where I didn't care about others' reactions anymore.
You'll probably always get peeps asking questions about your lack of hair... it's not malicious, just natural human curiosity, and there will always be those who're driven to find out - some gently and kindly, others thoughtlessly. In the case of the latter, you could demonstrate to them just how hard a hairless head is.... no, I'm kidding!!!!! (I recommend you wait till they're not looking :) )
I also think a lot of the confidence you need to get to the "exposed" stage can be provided by supportive family, partner and friends... if they're OK with you, you'll feel better in yourself, and much more likely to Do The Deed. And if you're out with them, there's the "safety in numbers" thing too!
Hope this has helped... and you get to where you want to be.
Good Luck!
Norm
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Permalink Reply by ADEOLA ADEFOLAJU on
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I really like your reply..its very encouraging....I guess its all about you and the confidence you've got....cos people ask alot of questions.
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Permalink Reply by Ms. E on
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Hi Roberta, I am new to AW, and just came across your post.
Interestingly I just visited Sao Paulo 2 weeks ago, and had planned on sporting my new "bald" look while there since no one there would know me, but chickened out!
You look beautiful! (:
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Permalink Reply by Mary on
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Hang in there....I shaved my head two years ago, on Jan. 30, 2008, and was AU within months. I tried wearing wigs for about 10 months, but couldn't stand the heat, and wigs interferred with my active life. I came to the decision that I was just going to be comfortable, and I only wear a scarf or hat when I'm chilly. Yes, it's been difficult emotionally at times, but I'm really happy and just getting on with life. I keep reminding myself how many worse problems I could have than just not having hair.
Check out my photos, blogs and videos. I hope my experiences will help. My attitude is summed up by a shirt I had made: "Yes, I'm bald...get over it!" I make and hand out cards explaining about alopecia. Maybe National Bald Out Day 2010 will be your first day "out"?
Good luck,
Mary
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That's very very very very confident. I wish i could be as confident and bold as you. Its really not easy emotionally.
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I'd just like to add what I've said before. I know, I know...some of you are tired of me saying it...., but every once in awhile I have to, so stop reading if you don't want to hear it again:
Bald women will not become less of an unusual sight, and people won't stop assuming all bald women have cancer, until there are more of us OUT THERE. It's as simple as that.
This presents a classic "chicken-and-egg" problem: we'll be oddities and be assumed to have cancer, until people see more bald women in public, but people won't SEE more bald women in public until there are more to see. That's my whole point with starting the National Bald Out. This year it's Saturday, July 19, 2010. IMAGINE the effect if for ONE day, all bald women just went out in public bald. There would be too many obviously healthy and self-confident bald women for people to assume they all have cancer.
No one looks twice at a bald man, or asks if he has cancer, simply because there are so many of them. It's up to us to change things so that women have the same choices as men to be covered or uncovered.
End of rant. ( ;-) Mary
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Just noticed I put the wrong date...this year, National Bald Out Day is Saturday, July 17, 2010.
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Mary,
I totally agree with you and am in Support of the National Bald Out. Wish it could be an International Bald Out espaecially for people like us in Africa (Nigeria)
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Thank you, Adeola! The National Bald Out IS International. It's whatever "nation" you're in. Last year, there were events and people participating in Canada and in the United Kingdom, as well as the U.S. This year, I'm hoping we'll have people participating all over the world! It can be a group event, or just one person standing out in public. I'll be assembling photos from everyone to make a video like this one from last year:
http://www.alopeciaworld.net/video/national-bald-out-day-2009
More info is coming soon...please join the National Bald Out Group on Alopecia World!
Mary
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Permalink Reply by BaldGirlsDoLunch.org on
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July 1-31 is the first International Women with Alopecia month in celebration of women. Please join us!
To be an Alopecia Ambassador (tm) in July for your area, please drop me a line to the BGDL office: thea@baldgirlsdolunch.org or phone 800.578.5332. You need not have alopecia to get involved in our month of opportunities in support of women with alopecias...of all types. Bald is never required at BGDL.
Our Arizona friends were first to sign on and here's a photo of us in Phoenix with the new logo.
Are you in Seattle, WA? Portland, OR? mid-Pennsylvania? We'll put you in touch with our contacts already making plans for those areas.
We look forward to helping you "Do Lunch" and celebrate in your regional style.
Thea, founder
www.BaldGirlsDoLunch.org
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Permalink Reply by Becca on
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Deanna,
I have been dealing with Alopecia since I was 16, I am now 28 and I don't think I will ever be used to not wearing my wig etc...I don't like it when people think I have cancer. Hopefully someday you will get used to being without your wig or head covered.
-Becca
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