Will I ever feel comfortable going without my wig or head covered?  I just can't seem to get there and I have not had any hair for 3 1/2 years.  A lot of times when I go out just with a bandana on I have strangers come up to me and ask me what type of cancer I have.  I try to make it a positive opportunity and introduce them to our disease, but it still doesn't make it less comfortable or easier. 

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i have had alopecia for 17 years now. to this day i still have to wear something on my head, i don't even like my wife and kids to see me with nothing on! i think part of the reason is because i wear a hat everyday, and so my scalp has no color to it, my face is somewhat tan, but my head is VERY white! another reason, i shave my head every couple of days with the straight razor, it's smooth and looks o.k. for the first eight hours or so, but then, where my hair does grow, the roots or follicles are so dark, that the bald patches REALLY stand out. i really wish i could just not worry about the looks and comments, but i think i'll probably be barried with my hat on!
hello gail,
thank you for the response. my family and friends all know about the condition, and most have seen me "naked" at some point, i think it's just me. i feel like a "freak" or something when i don't have my hat on. maybe because i've been wearing one for 17 years? i feel like i am getting to old to wear a hat everyday, and would really like to break out of my shell, AND SOON I SAY! i feel like my elders still look at me as some punk kid, "always wearing that damn hat backwards!' but it's how i feel the most comfortable ya know?
do you know of any really good men wigs on the market? i have been considering trying that again. i had a hairpiece and then a full wig when my alopecia started, but was tormented by many kids in highschool, who i THOUGHT were frriends! i think now that i'm older, i may try it again!
Keith, when I first lost my hair a couple of years ago, my scalp was really white - even though I've always protected my face from sun and it wasn't very tan. I sat out in our backyard for short periods of time with a hat that bared only my head (actually, a big sun visor that goes all the way around my head). The visor protected my face and neck completely, but allowed my bald head to get darker. It evened up nicely pretty quickly. I'm always careful not to get new "tan lines" on my forehead and face...I either go bald if I'm in the sun briefly (such as in a car or walking short distances), or I wear a full sun hat to protect both my head and face and keep it all the same. In other words, I try not to be out in the sun wearing a knit cap or scarf.

I don't have the shaving problem because I'm AU. I think you should just shave it daily (I think many people do). The freedom of going out bald and cool is great.
hello mary,
as far as the shaving daily goes, i have tried it, i just seem to get razor burn pretty badly. you would think for as long as i've been shaving, my scalp would be immune to razor burn! lol, anyway, i am already starting to feel alittle more comfortable since finding this site a few days ago, HELL, i was almost considering going to work bald today!!! probably not, not that comfortable yet, but i am thinking about maybe starting to tan? maybe by time spring is here, i can have a blended tan line?!
i am very glad i stumbled across this site, i wish i would've known about it sooner, i no longer feel as alone. i had no idea that there were this many sufferer's out there!
THANK YOU!
You're welcome, Keith. AW is a wonderful community, and it's helped me a lot. Go for it!
well, i did it! i went out in public with my family this weekend, and wore NOTHING on my head! i didn't even bring my hat with me for a security blanket! i must admit, i was very nervous, and anxious, but it felt AWESOME! my head was breathing, it felt so refreshing. i may have gotten some wierd looks, but to be honest, i wasn't paying any attention! i am going to try going to work at least one day this week without any head covering, i will repost to let you know how that goes.
just as a refresher, i've had AA for 17 years, and only family and very close friends have seen my head. this weekend was a huge step in the right direction for me! i hope to be "hat free" within the next month or so!!!
WAY TO GO, KEITH! It just gets easier from here, believe me.
thanks mary, it has been very encouraging, since joining AW. i've been reading posts from everyone, and i truly think this is a big part of why i did this, this weekend. i no longer feel alone! THANKS EVERYONE!!!
You're ready for the National Bald Out! Check out my new video and join the Group...you just joined without even knowing it!
just a little update, i have made great strides in the right direction. i have gone to work numerous times without any head covering now, and love being outdoors without my hat on! i must admit, i owe alot of my new found courage and strenght to this website, but even more, one of my co-workers/new friends at work, helped more than i could imagine! he has been a terrific support system, so, THANKS JIM!!! more to come...
I have not gotten to the point of loss where I had to either wear a wig or cover, but I was very close, I was just able to get by, and I'm sure, although people were shocked when they saw how extensive my loss was, that it was still noticeable, that my hair was different. I did buy a wig at that time, and knew I would never feel comfortable going ?natural?? I know that others would disagree with me on this, and I understand that this is nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm not, but for me, I just know that I would not go without a wig of some sort if I get to that point, to be honest I was not very comfortable in the wig, and felt it looked like a wig, although it was rather expensive for a synthetic, after more experience on sites like this, I know that there are better alternatives. I respect those who are Bald and proud, but not all of us are built that way, I have seen many beautiful women and men on here that look "great" without hair, I am not one of them, I am uncomfortable, even when I had extensive loss, I felt so self conscious, but I am by no means embarrassed of my AA (disease) I am very open about it, and talk about it freely with my coworkers, and friends, every chance that comes up I'm ready to be open about it. This does not change the fact that just as far as my appearance goes, I'm more comfortable with hair, I'm also more comfortable with makeup on, in fact I don't leave the house without it! I use creams and lotions, and wear perfume and chose clothes that I feel flatter my body type, I really don't think that this is any different. Frankly I have heard some Alopecians give others a bit of a bad time, for wanting to treat, or cover, these in my opinion are very personal decisions, that only you can make, and I don't think that wanting to cover, or look like what the world perceives as normal (including some Alopecians) or to look our best is not wrong. For me the choice is personal, and please don't feel like something is wrong with your desire to look, in your opinion is your best. Stay strong, and be yourself :-)
Christine...I absolutely understand that some people feel better and will always feel better in a wig or other head cover. I always say that there is nothing wrong with NOT wanting to go out bald. I totally support everyone doing what they're most comfortable with.

What I want is simply for baldness to be more of a choice that's open to women, the way it is for men these days. The truth is that I greatly prefer the way I look in a wig to the way I look bald...it's just that I'm too physically uncomfortable with my head covered because I get too warm quickly. It's a very personal choice and I support you completely.

Mary

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