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Has anyone quit their job because of alopecia?
I am strongly considering quitting my job because I'm finding it very difficult making the transition from having hair to not having any. I work in NY City, and unfortunately with a bunch of catty women. I have diffuse alopecia areata, and up until now, have been able to get away with my alopecia. I've tried wigs...not for me, and I have not quite figured out what avenue to take...shaving, scarf, hat etc. Well, anyway I don't want to be the talk of the office, or have to explain myself over and over. I think I would just break down and cry. I just want to come to terms with my alopecia on my own time. Just wondering if anyone has quit their job because of their alopecia?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by purplemainst on
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Hi,
I know how you feel. I have left my hair loss unaddressed for so long and just today I came home with a full head wig. I am dreading going to work tomorrow even though everyone knows I had severe hair loss. When I started wearing scarfs the looks, questions etc were very hard. No one was ever mean and more supportive really, but it has been a very difficult issue. I haven't even shown my family this wig. I want to quit my job and move away,to a place where no one knows me and won't be shocked when they see me now. Don't quit your job because of hair loss. Quit your job because you don't like your job but be sure, you deserve a full life with financial security and independence.
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Permalink Reply by Rose on
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Hi Heather, my name is Rose and after being at an office job for 8 years I made the decision to shave my head (I had lost about 60 - 70% of my hair). Prior to shaving my head (two years ago) I was able to hide my alopecia with different hair styles, cuts, etc. I did it on a Sunday and walked into the office on Monday morning w/a scarf and wore those for the first week, but the scarves kinda bugged me too (like when I worried if a bald spot was showing, now I worried if the scarf was just right). That first week I told no one in the office because of all the obvious reasons: it's none of their business, I didn't want anyone's sympathy, I didn't want to be the gossip in the office, etc. Well a couple of close friends did approach me out of concern so I sent out an email to the entire office (120 people - 6 departments (my dept has 20 people). Explained in one paragraph what I have, that it doesn't define me and I'm not contagious and do not want sympathy. I stopped wearing scarves and went as I am! It worked great. Happy to send you pics and talk more if you'd like. Rose Reed
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Yeah. I'm with you. It took me 9 months with AU to say screw it and go bald. It has been freeing. I see hair growing back now, but I plan to shave it back down. Lipstick and big bold earrings.
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Permalink Reply by Heather on
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Hi Rose, I appreciate what you've said. Unfortunately, I do not work with a bunch of compassionate people. They love to find your Achilles heel. They are very passive aggressive. I thought about sending an email, but I don't think I would get the same respect as you did.
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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I k now just where you are coming from, Heather. I don't know your financial situation, nor do I need to, but please, please "don't cut off your nose to spite your face." You may have alopecia forever, who knows? And you have to eat and live indoors as long as you're alive, so you have to work SOMEWHERE.
There are so many wig styles out there, and coonsultants who can help you choose a "proper" wig -- one that you CAN live with, so please don't give up on that idea. Having had alopecia for MANY years, and being in a competitive, catty workplace, I empathize with you.
Hugs, and more hugs to you.
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Hi Heather, I don't have alopecia, however I did work for a long time with someone who did. She was my manager. Her hair was noticeably thin when I met her, then she got promoted to a stressful position and started to lose even more hair. Perhaps it would have fallen out anyway, I don't know.
However, she never acted self-conscious about it, and rarely discussed it - and even then only very briefly and only with folks she knew liked her and that she could trust. For everyone else she just ignored it and carried on as usual. Sure there were people who talked about it, but that's normal and never killed anyone.
Eventually she got a wig, and it wasn't a very good one, that is it looked like a wig and did not suit her. Still she carried on without a word and by then no one even mentioned it any more. About a year ago she got another wig, and it was fabulous! It totally suited her, both style and coloring, and I'll bet anyone from that moment on never guessed that she was bald and wore a wig.
My point is, I had so much admiration for this woman for bravely moving forward and without apology or excuses. She seemed to be saying 'this is me, if you have issues get over it'. I told her shortly after she got her first wig that I admired her attitude very much. And I could relate, because for several years I had a bad facial twitch, and people were the same - talked about it behind my back, assumed it was from stress (it wasn't), and I just carried on. After all, I was still me, and I had to work, and people were either my friends or not. Just remember, curiosity is normal, but soon the novelty wears off. First thing is to accept yourself.
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Do not quit because of AA. Quit if you have found a better job if no longer like where you work. New York City? Get a style where yon are bald (shaved very low) everywhere but the top or if you are completely bald on top go totally bald. Talk to your beautician for suggestions. When you first cut it all off you will die a little inside, but you will soon find it is better than waiting for it all to fall out. I do not where wigs. But I love scarves. Scarves can become your new hair ad match all outfits until you are ready to show your beautiful bald, like a really hot day lol. As far as your colleagues, walk in like you own the place and when they make catty remarks. You can take the high road and ignore it or the bold road and an appropriate snide remark that they will not realize they were insulted. Or say I can't believe you would say such a thing when I am dealing with this health issue. After saying this many will assume you are dealing with a crisis and you will find others take the battle up for you. You do not owe them an explanation so let them think what they want.
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Hi, thanks for your replies. I do hate my job, I've been stuck in the same industry for more than twenty years. Hi pressure and high volume, and deadline after deadline. I have saved up money, and now I feel it's time for a break. The people I work with are less than sweet, that's how the industry is. Is it so wrong to want a break?
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quitting something just gives you to opportunity to start something new, just be careful that it's not fear driven. Sometimes it's just time to move on. Good Luck to you!
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Find another job first then quit or take a mental health break ( leave of absence) for a while you look.
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Permalink Reply by Robin on
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Well? I was 40 hours a week endeavoring time in the corporate world and mine came swiftly....few halos bald then Universalis landed like a Sledge Hammer...Eyebrows, Eyelashes, Hair, arms ,legs, chest etc head to toe. GONE! What was overwhelming for me was " my public received me Positively....they said I looked fantastic and baldness suited me.....To be sincere..I was not overly bothered by it, but i now love it.....
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Hi Heather:
I have female pattern baldness almost no hair on the top front of my head. Any type of hair loss for a woman is devastating. It affects us in many ways so I can understand what you are going through. Here is my question. You say that you have tried wigs and they're not for you. I over a period of 2-3 years tried every kind of wig and hairpiece out there before I found what was comfortable for me and looked natural. I would be willing to help you find a solution if you would like. Up front I do not sell wigs so please don't think I'm trying to sell you something. I'm just another woman like you that was devastated by loosing my hair. I wear what they refer to as a 3/4 wig, I shave the top of my head apply scalp prep and then tape it to my head. I remove it every night because I prefer to wash my scalp everyday. Some people wear their hair up to a month at a time. Please feel free to contact me if you would like with questions.
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