I been suffering from alopecia for years and bad as I want to pull my wig off and let my children see what my head really looks like without wearing a wig is something I cannot bring myself to do. It's very hard. I am so afraid of being looked at like a freak or something.   I am so tired of hiding, it's making me so depressed. Some days I just want to pull of my wig and say see this is what I have been hiding for years but every time I get to that point I just freeze.  Can anyone help me please I know one day I will have to pull my wigs off and I just do not want to be laugh at or hear gossip behind my back. PLEASE HELP ME). I just want this burden off my shoulders.  I just want to come out and feel free.

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Hi, my name is Valeri. I hid my BALDNESS for 6 years, BUT NOT IN MY HOUSE! You poor thing. But only my husband knew and one best friend for years. What helped me come "out" was going on some trips where no one knew me. I was amazed at all the COMPASSION and COMPLIMENTS I got from complete strangers!!! People on the street and even in other cars shout out their COMPLIMENTS. Being a black woman, we are VERY CONCERNED ABOUT OUR REGULAR HAIR (which can be very unmanageable). That is why so many black women are into wigs, braids and weaves starting in childhood. But it's one thing to wear a wig on occasion,than to fill FORCED to wear them because you feel people will think you're a monster. So try this: Go somewhere out of town and take your wig off. I guaranty you will be pleasantly surprised by people's reactions (especially if you are TOTALLY BALD. Try it and let me know. I threw my wigs away in April and have since come out to the WORLD. IT IS SO SO LIBERATING!!!

You are so correct about black women and hair.  One day I hope to get to the place where you are.

I'm so glad that I came out right from the beginning. Because I didn't understand what was happening I was talking to everyone I work with through the whole hair loss process so when it was all gone they already knew. I started wearing a wig at work but when they saw how uncomfortable I was they encouraged me to take it off. That's just how it happened, I ripped it off. I think to me it was more of a duty,it had to be done, that's how I felt about it. The wig gave me anxiety,I was hot,uncomfortable, it was preventing me from working comfortably. Months went by where the only place I was publicly bald was in my department (I work in a very large place) when I went on break I'd wear a hat. I knew the day would come where I'd have to walk without that on but it was all in my mindset.I didn't think the day would come for me to put the wig back on.

It's just something you have to do and when you do it you'll feel this beautiful thing overcome you. It's amazing. I think what has helped me the most was just the idea that I had no other choice. I made the decision to say wigs are not an option. I'm also glad that my hair loss happened so fast because it seems like the longer you try to hide and cover up ,the harder it is to stop. I also agree with Valeri, go somewhere different to walk around bald, it is easier around strangers. I still get my most nervous around family and old acquaintances.

Thank you Jessica. There WILL BE a lot of people who assume you have cancer, but their questions or comments to you will be KIND AND FILL OF CONCERN. But it just so happens that being a TOTALLY BALD WOMAN IS QUITE FASHIONABLE & TRENDY right now. Honestly. I have never been told that IM BEAUTIFUL so much in my life!!! Do your makeup, put on some big earrings & strut your stuff girlfriend! I'm excited that you're considering coming out of the cocoon & turning into a BEAUTIFUL butterfly!

I think that one day you will surprise yourself and just be ready. It is a big leap, but when you are talking about your family, you are talking about people who know and love you. They may be surprised at your appearance, but I doubt they will see you much differently than they always have.

In losing my hair over the past few years being exposed at home sometimes took a conscious effort, but I knew the price of staying hidden was more than I wanted to pay. It's bad enough to lose your hair without having to hide as if in shame. My kids see me with scarves, wigs, weird hair, and, for a while, a shaved head, and I really believe at this point that they almost entirely just see mom. You didn't choose hair loss, but you can choose to not let it keep you down. One bit of wisdom that was passed down to me is that often times people take their cues about how to react from you. If you fake a bit of confidence and act like you are just a normal person with a hair issue, that's what others are likely to see.

Not that it is easy. But hiding isn't either. Personally I don't want gossip or people wondering if I am sick, so I often tell people upfront that they may see me in a wig or scarf or hat and that it is just alopecia. Good luck to you.

DO IT!!!  Don't judge yourself and lock them in to that same judgement.

My children have become more compassionate and aware and as they are going through this with me, they are blessing my socks off.  

You deserve to be free and to not feel shame.  

There is a lot of freedom and empowerment in sharing.  I have received so much support and not sympathy either.




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