Hey all....I am a nurse as alot of you now.  While giving report on a patient...the another nurse was starring at my hair and hairline of my wig...and after about 2 minutes of making me completley uncomfortable with her staring.....he asked if I was wearing a wig in a sarcatic tone.  I was completley lost for words and almost started crying.  Again today in the doctor's office, the nurse drawing my blood was starring at my head.  She didnt ask if I was wearing anything though.  I have no idea how to respond to these people doing this...does anyone have any suggestions of how to respond? 

Thank you!!

 

Love,

Donna

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Devin, I agree totally with you! It is amazing how people are so rude nowadays! CRAZY! My husband and I went to walmart the other day...when it was our turn at the register...I said hi and how are you doing to the cashier...she didnt even look up at me or respond. UGH! I agree too about Lisa's statement...I will remember that!
Yeah Donna it’s not right and I don’t know why I let it bother me, but in the Wal-Mart cashiers defense she had to deal with the past 50 rude people before the one nice one came up and said hi. I know those jobs are tough a long time ago I was working in a tollbooth repairing the electronic equipment and the patron came up, throw his coins in the collectors face and said I shouldn’t have to pay to drive on the road! Now this poor girl makes 6bucks an hour and Ill bet when the next patron who came up and said hi she just held her head down, but I know what you mean. Wherever I’ve worked it’s always been the customers always right, but people are just not same as they used to be.
Hey Donna

I'm really sorry to hear that you've had to experience such insensitive a**holes. I am always shocked to hear how ignorant and horrible some people can be. You just need to keep the strength to rise above it which will be hard at times but just keep remembering how strong you have been in dealing with this condition. They are just insignificant idiots that you meet along the way. Anyone with half a brain would stop to realise how hard it must be to deal with alopecia and actually admire you for the courageous person that you are.

Stay strong
Robert
Hey Robert! Thank you for replying to my discussion! You are so right about getting the strength to rise about this mess. Just still struggling with trying to find my inner strength! How are you?
Hi Donna,
Reading this experience touched the core of my heart. I'm so sorry you had to endure this unsensitive comment from a person that is suppose to have the skill or know how to treat people with compassion. Hope he treats patients better in his field of work?? I once had a co-worker ask me "Is that your hair?" And, than immediately realize she's just put her foot in her mouth and said, "Of course, course that's your hair, I don't know why I even asked that!!!" I never answered the question and just walked away. Keep in mind, this is a co-worker that I NEVER had conversation with other than "good morning, afternoon, etc." The nerve of people - I do get a lot of stares at work when I do something different to my wig. But no one has asked. I'm with you not comfortable telling people yet, but I sense I am getting there. This site has helped alot - there are many ppl here with lots of strength that is transferable - Thanks!! Anyways, I talk alot - so I hope that we both can get the strength to be on our toes and have a response to these "RUDE, UNSENSIBLE, INCONSIDERABLE, ETC" ppls. I love some of the one liners suggested here. Thanks to all of you.
Pat
When some ask me iam I wearing a wig ? They should have just ask....How much do you weight? or How old are you?....or How much do you make a year? Its just rude. And thats exactly what I tell them. any way Donna lots of hugs to you . Tracey
Hi Donna, people can be so insensitive. I had a similar experience last week with a courier guy and was taken aback as it was the first time anyone had asked if it was my real hair. It was annoying but most of all, i just didn't really know how to respond so I kept silent. Have read some of the encouraging words from people here and have decided that the next time someone asks, I'll try to take the chance to talk about alopecia areata (which i have extensively, looks like it's progressing to totalis). But I'm still not that comfortable yet at doing so but I'll try.

You look great by the way! Take care!
I think if that were me, what would've flied out of my mouth would've been "Yes, very observant", because I would've been so annoyed. I agree with explaining your situation to others, but sometime, when people act so stupid, it's hard to keep your composure.
I'm so shocked to hear that people can be so rude, and am lucky to say, that in 9 years of wearing wigs, I've only ever had the embarrassing question of '..your hair is lovely, where do you get it cut/coloured?'.... I think perhaps wigs are less common in the UK so maybe people are more naive? When I do tell people it's a wig I also go down the route of 'please don't have sympathy... really, I can change hair at the drop of the hat, I never have to shave, I have lovely smooth skin, I save a fortune in hairdressers and I'm fit and healthy'.... usually that quietens people down.
Thoughts with you... it gets easierx
People are so dumb! I'm a nurse too and every day I worry that some stupid ass is going to put me on the spot! Including my patients sometimes. You do get stuck for words and want to just cry. I had one idiot, low life tell everyone around me who were complimenting me on my hair say "she's wearing a wig...right, Karen!" I was humiliated to say the least, and could feel my face turning red. I got defensive - the Alopecia script wasn't in my mind at that point. I stopped what I was doing and looked at her and said in a very quiet but clear voice, "yeah, I am, Mary! I lost my hair this year. Doesn't that suck!" I was ready to cry only because my adrenaline was so high that I wanted to really rip her face off. Then a doctor who witnessed the whole conversation caught my eye and winked at me and smiled - giving me the "right on!". I'm not a defensive person usually. But I'm not taking shit from anyone about how my wig looks to them. I'm right up front when I have to be, with people who matter. I don't want people creating their own conclusion either. But some people just need a smack!
Don't take shit from people.

I save the whole Alopecia conversation for real people.

Dumb is dumb. And sometimes you just have to find your mad!
With truth and information. I find telling it like it is can be the best thing. Some people don't even know that alopecia exists and once you explain it to them - they feel either very bad or more understanding. Few people are going to judge you for your condition if they know anything about it.

I read on Facebook that one 14 year old girl's mother got a video on AA from the NAAF and showed it to her daughter's class. Once the students were more informed they were less likely to snicker or make fun her. Many people are not informed (educated) and some are just ignorant (I don't let those ones bother me because their problem is far worse that what I am dealing with).
Chris, I couldn't say it better myself. Thanks Chris for putting it into words "just ignorant.....their problem is far worse than what I am dealing with" isn't that the truth!!!

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