Alopecia World
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How does everyone stay so proud?
Don't get me wrong, I know this is my life now.
I started loosing my hair three years ago when I was a senior. I lost mostly all of my hair within 1 month. For the next year and a half I wore wigs and bandanas, dealt with the questions and came to terms with my situation. Once my hair started to come back I got extentions. Everyone told me this would be a one time deal and I would be safe. I didn't believe them for a second. I did the research and knew I wouldn't be that lucky. And then it happened.
About four months ago the cycle took over again. Although I'm dealing with it a lot better this time around, I don't think I can be like anyone on here. I've never met or talked to anyone with alopecia before. How do you stay so proud?
I started loosing my hair three years ago when I was a senior. I lost mostly all of my hair within 1 month. For the next year and a half I wore wigs and bandanas, dealt with the questions and came to terms with my situation. Once my hair started to come back I got extentions. Everyone told me this would be a one time deal and I would be safe. I didn't believe them for a second. I did the research and knew I wouldn't be that lucky. And then it happened.
About four months ago the cycle took over again. Although I'm dealing with it a lot better this time around, I don't think I can be like anyone on here. I've never met or talked to anyone with alopecia before. How do you stay so proud?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Joshua on
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Hi Sarah,
The possible answer for your question (How do you stay so proud?) is found in the sentences before your question. By meeting and talking to others in persons does help to build up your confidence. Alopecians represents a diverse society with many successful visions and achievements, leaders, school teachers, politicians, sports coachs, doctors, lawyers, business people, humanitarian, artists, nurses, engineers, skilled workers, humanitarians...etc (you name it), successful parents, brothers, sisters, beautiful families, children, grandchildren...etc. In addition to that, alopecians are generally sensitive to the needs of others, caring and compassionate. Therefore, by talking or meeting individuals with alopecia will help you to realize better that alopecians are no different than others except with lesser hair.
Dealing with alopecia is an on and off thing to me personally, mostly sunshine and gloomy days occasionally, as you cope with alopecia, you'll soon realize the gloomy days are rarer or if they do come, the duration of it will be shorter and shorter.
Be yourself and live life to the fullest!
God bless
jt
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Permalink Reply by Sarah on
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I agree with you about everything. Ive never felt like my looks meant much in this situation. I cant control this so there is no sense in getting upset. What I'm trying to say is, I don't have the same feelings emotionally about alopecia. I have come to terms with the good and bad days, but I don't really feel thankful that I have alopecia. Sometimes I am glad that I do. I guess just after reading about the people on here, I feel I have a lot further to go towards acceptance. I thought I had accepted everything but I think I'm not even close now.
Thank you, I need contact with other alopecians.
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No problem Sarah,
I'm far from 100% acceptance of my alopecia. Trust me, I'm sure that I need some encouragement and comforting words back from you and other on here one day...:)... unfortunately but I'm thankful that I have place like this when I call a "second home" when I can find comfort and shelter from hostile situations when people laughed at us. As a matter of fact, a few high school kids picked on me...when I was passing by a local store a couple of days ago. They shouted at me "Hey! Baldy!"...Guess what, I was in good spirit that time, and so I said to myself...."I shall not respond to any statements made by uncivilized people!". It sounds a little bit crude that I label them as uncivillized...but actually they just dont understand alopecia BUT it doesnt still give them the right to pick on others...so I labelled them as "Uncivilized" for one day...LOL.
Take care Sarah. You're not alone today and never will be in this journey of alopecia.
jt
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Permalink Reply by Mary on
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Hang in there, Sarah. I think the answer to your question is to spend lots of time on Alopecia World, looking at photos and videos posted by proudly bald women and men, and reading their comments. I'm at a much different place than I was when I first lost my hair a year and a half ago. It just takes time.
Mary
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I'm on year 3 and still can't get that clarity fully. I agree with you, I wish I would have found Alopecia World a long time ago. Ive been reading things nonstop since I found this. I really wanted to go to the conference in Kentucky but didn't have the time or funds to go. When is the next one?
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Words of wisdom. I couldn't have put it any better. Thank you so much.
You know, I tend to stay positive when I'm around family, friends or even strangers. I put up this front that lets people think that everything is ok. Really I'm screaming inside for some sort of support and I think I've found that here. Don't get me wrong, my family and friends try their best but its always better to be around or just talk to people like me.
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Well, I lost my hair when I was 18, about to graduate from high school and go to prom.
Its not that I am scared or afraid to talk about my life with anyone, I just want to be ok with myself. I guess that's the struggle I've been dealing with for 3 years now. I don't so much care about what others think of me or how they think I look. I am just trying to find beauty within myself so I can once and for-all let go.
I've had tons of lows at work: from having someone call me sir, having someone ask me if I was wearing a wig and the management always telling me my hair was too long when they knew about my situation. I've spent more money on hats, bandanas and wigs then I can even imagine already. Then around June of last year my hair grew back enough that I was able to get extentions. Of course about 4 or so months ago my hair started to go again.
I just feel like I'm starting all over again even though this is the second time I've lost my hair. I have never met or talked to anyone else with any form of Alopecia. It has only been 2 days and I already find this place like my heaven.
Eventually, I want to be able to embrace alopecia and be happy that I have it. Happy with myself.
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Sarah, what Susan wrote about the things people post on AW is absolutely true. The photos I recently put up on my page showing me drumming bald on August 8 represent a "good" moment for me. I was high on the music that night, and feeling beautiful. Since then, I've had my usual "down" days. The low moments are becoming fewer and less frequent, and most of the time I feel proud of who I am and comfortable with how I look. But, there are still times I hate my bald head and rage and get upset. As others have responded, just keep going and it will get better.
Mary
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Permalink Reply by Ronda on
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Sarah,
It will get better.
I have Alopecia universal.No hair anywhere.
But I have a hard with it too.
I am 50 and a grandma.
But I am thankful everyday that goes by.
God gives us what we can handle.
And he know who can handle it and who can't .
I have alot of low days too.
But they I just think there are other people just like me.
And then I feel not so alone.
Just keep meeting new people on here and it will make you feel better.
This website is great.
Remember we all have been through it or if not will and we are all glad to help you in any way we can.
Our friendship is yours.
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Its so good to know that others have lows. I was trying to eliminate them and now I wont. ha thank you.
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Numbness. Can't get any lower than the lowest point, so no direction to go but up. If you are on this site you are already on the way up, right? Many here may not be "proud" in reality, but are so here to encourage others. Everyone has "those days" in real life, in intimate moments, before the big interview, etc., believe me! However, the older one gets, or the more one endures something, the less one feels a need to announce it, discuss it, bemoan it etc. publically. Some of us have already been there, done that, years ago, with others in our lives. We now let the hair talk go and concentrate on making up lost time with wonderful new ideas, friends, adventures, clothing, degrees, travel, talents, etc. If by "support" you mean one man to love (that's what some young women really mean), just put that thought in one bag and the "you" that is an independent person possibly having to get educated on and have to deal with this condition off and on over the next 70 years in another bag. You will have to deal with this independently far longer than any of those relationships in your lifetime, because you will always be interested in research and in helping others with it, even if yours is in remission...whereas men come and go. Pick some supportive life-long friends to include in this over the next ten years instead of waiting for one significant other. Some of those friends will be there for the duration if they are true.
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