This is going to sound majorly harsh, but hear me out.
I feel like the "bald is beautiful" is a lie we tell ourselves and others just to feel better. I don't think bald is beautiful. I think some can be beautiful IN SPITE of being bald, but it will always detract from their appearance. I don't want to pamper myself and say that if I take a bubble bath and get new clothes and work on the rest of my appearance and "do things to make myself feel pretty" I'll feel attractive, because guess what, I'm not, and I won't try to fool myself into thinking I am. I'm sorry, I realize how insulting to everyone this sounds, but looks DO weigh more than personality in the world. Unfair and sucky, but it's true and we all know it. Jobs, dating, personal worth largely hinges on social perception of ourselves. I can't look a certain way and I can't fool myself into feeling a certain way and so normally I focus on other things, but I'm still never really ok. I go through life knowing that disgust is power, and so no one will mess with me because in a way, walking around with a half smooth half shaved head makes me look tough. But still, I know I am still not ok with my ugliness.
There must be a way to peace without lying to myself. Question is, how can I come to terms and accept that I am ugly? Any thoughts?
It makes me very sad that you feel this way. Are you newly diagnosed? I am so far away from feeling bad about myself that I sometimes forget that struggle. I do remember very much the same feelings as a teen. I probably have not felt that way in twenty plus years though.
Hair does not make the person. We are conditioned in our society to believe that long , flowing locks of hair equal beautiful. It is a hard mindset to get out of. There are real and genuine people in this world that will accept you for YOU- hair or no hair. If those aren't the type of people in your life, remove them from your life. I think support forums like these and in person support groups can really change the way you see yourself and your condition. I hope you have one nearby. You might need one meeting or maybe years of meetings. I know it helped me tremendously as a teen to see that there were people like me that had careers and kids and spouses. At the time I thought none of that was a possibility for me. Counseling might help as well.
Hang in there. It isn't an easy road, but it really does get better. Really!
Truly nice. You blessed me.
I don't like the word "ugly"; to me, it someone rotten, inside and out, or maybe just inside, because if someone is a nice person on the inside, they can never be truly ugly, no matter what they look like.
AA/AU is a nasty blow to anyone, but I think how you deal with it can make the difference in how people treat/see you. Your post drips with negativity, which makes me very sad. No, it is hard to put a happy face on this condition, but that's what I do because nobody wants to be around negative energy. You may not be "ugly" at all, maybe that's just how you see yourself and it comes across when you are around others. But, I can't change how you feel; nobody can. Only you have that power; I'm confident you can find it.
Hi, I am newly diagnosed, I actually thought my hair was growing back and it really isn't. I hope and pray I don't have to cut my hair. I will cross that bridge when I have to. All of the pictures of the women on this site with bald heads are beautiful. Confidence is beautiful! That is what I see. I only hope that I can be so confident to show my beautiful self if I have to cut all of my hair off.
I agree, we are entitled to our own feelings.
I read your post and can relate to you. I've had AU for 10 years and I'm trying to meet new friends.
I hope you're ok
Wow, me too. I was in Vegas in July of 2016. Did a lot of walking around and wouldn't dare be without my hair! People judge us by appearances. I really look sickly without my hair. I know I do. I can't stand the way I look without hair. And I've noticed that my boyfriend really hates it too. He tries to look away when my wig is off. It sucks; and I wish I wasn't cursed with this cruel disease. It has completely altered my personality and my entire life has changed! I am in Northern NJ, and I don't know anyone who has this disease. I wish I had peer support from real live people nearby. Maybe we could share info or friendship...