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How to accept being ugly
This is going to sound majorly harsh, but hear me out.
I feel like the "bald is beautiful" is a lie we tell ourselves and others just to feel better. I don't think bald is beautiful. I think some can be beautiful IN SPITE of being bald, but it will always detract from their appearance. I don't want to pamper myself and say that if I take a bubble bath and get new clothes and work on the rest of my appearance and "do things to make myself feel pretty" I'll feel attractive, because guess what, I'm not, and I won't try to fool myself into thinking I am. I'm sorry, I realize how insulting to everyone this sounds, but looks DO weigh more than personality in the world. Unfair and sucky, but it's true and we all know it. Jobs, dating, personal worth largely hinges on social perception of ourselves. I can't look a certain way and I can't fool myself into feeling a certain way and so normally I focus on other things, but I'm still never really ok. I go through life knowing that disgust is power, and so no one will mess with me because in a way, walking around with a half smooth half shaved head makes me look tough. But still, I know I am still not ok with my ugliness.
There must be a way to peace without lying to myself. Question is, how can I come to terms and accept that I am ugly? Any thoughts?
-PG
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Susan on
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OMG... Dreamsdocometrue!!!
I knew something was up.It read in such a way,that it could only be written to
1) establish dialogue
2) to harass innocent people.
I had my suspicions though.
However,the kicker for me was, in the courageous,sarcastic and assertive way the author responded following each individual post.
EveryOne,reread closely...
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Permalink Reply by dreamscometrue on
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Susan, EXACTLY!! You and I are on the same page!!
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LOVE IT!!
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Every cloud has a silver lining...
This thread has liberated me.
Associating the word ugly with Alopecia,has awakesken me to fight for
Our visability.
SBBA.... That's me and that's we.
Strong
Bold
Beautiful
Bald.
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Permalink Reply by pippinsgirl on
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Thank you for that sentiment, it really means a lot and although I suppose it takes time to see the silver lining, it's there, the evidence being that there's a lot of people who have come to terms, like yourselves. Maybe you've had some time with this or maybe you're just naturally positive but either way it is inspiring!
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HERE HERE!! Loud and proud!! Too much to be grateful, no time to sulk. It's been over 30 years. I ain't got time for bullshit and thinking if someone thinks I'm ugly. Ugly is to the bone!! Ya heard??
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Get real, IF being bald wasn't ugly, the xeljanz thread would not have over 600 replies.
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Permalink Reply by Cissie55 on
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Sounds to me like you're somewhat of a narsasitic freak.....dreamscometrue. Do you even have Alopecia? Some of us have "just" encountered this disease later in life. For me, I was 57. All my life people commented on my beautiful hair. Now, at this point in my life I am having a hard time coping. I feel the pain of those that have had this their whole life. Everyone deals with issues in different way and for some, may take longer than others. We're all different. I don't in any way think of everyone's post as a negative need for attention. Shame on you!
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I'm not ashamed at all but one can't ask for empowerment in a negative way insulting those that suffer the same disorder. Even those who are diagnosed late want hope not pessimism and feeling like a horrid looking creature. And granted we all deal with issues in different ways but why in the hell would ANYONE seeking positivity come with such insults and negativity to those who repeatedly tried to bring hope and joy in spite of this disorder?? Think before you type Cissie55. An opinion is like an asshole, everybody's got one. Narcissist are perpetually negative. Look it up before you run your trap spewing pity. Oh and btw, I've had AU for 30 yrs. I seek no pity!!!
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Permalink Reply by C on
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I don't agree this is a forum for spitting out insults. Opinions are not all meant to sound wonderful. It doesn't mean someone is a pessimist.
A few years ago I suffered a bells palsy attack and the right side of my face drooped. I had to go for physical therapy to train the muscles in my face to work again. It's weird how no one thought about therapy for my mind as it made me feel ugly and I could no longer smile right. I always thought I had great teeth and my smile was my best feature. Therapy improved my face a lot and I don't feel ugly except that I have a crooked smile and my right eye closes when I smile. In pictures it doesn't come across as a smile ..it's looks more like I'm trying to make a crazy face. Now I just smile slightly with my mouth closed. I had to accept that I would never be able to smile the same again. Now I still think I have a pretty face but my smile doesn't enhance my face anymore.
I guess the only comparison I can make for my opinion is : If a boy or man had a medical condition that made him grow breast , do you really think that he could be convinced that 'breast are beautiful '? I seriously doubt that.
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