How to cope with being diagnosed with alopecia? Life is so unfair :'(

Hi I'm 18 and I've just been diagnosed with alopecia areata. Its really hard to deal with It and right now it seems as though I will never accept it:'( I have beautiful long hair but its slowly disappearing:'( I just wana end my life and take the easy way out because life does NOT seem worth it. I need advice please, I need to know how I can cope with this, how I can also be strong and overcome the emotional pain:(

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Permalink Reply by Liz on November 12, 2011 at 11:40am

How are you doing? Please write back.

Permalink Reply by alicia on November 12, 2011 at 3:00pm
Hey liz, I'm so sorry for the late reply. I hope you doing well, I'm just really traumatically stressed and it just gets worst everytime I look in the mirror! I'm really taking this hard because I feel that life is so unfair, I've been through so much pain from birth since I was born with osteogenises impofecta (brittle bone disease) I pracically grew up in hospital, I had 6 major fractures and underwent 3 opreations where metal rods had to be inserted in my bones. its just too much to handle right now! I ask God everyday why me? I know that everyone probably asks that question but I'm totally torn. Anyway thank you for caring. It means a lot. Bis hugs-----«@
Permalink Reply by Erika on November 12, 2011 at 5:28pm

Everyone finds their ways to deal with it.. i felt the same when i started losing mine and i was also 18, am 21 now and i am just starting to accept it, it wasnt bad the first time it fell out and came back mostly, my eyebrows hadnt so i got those tattooed and after that i was fine. now being 21, it started falling out again and its goten a lot worse and in my opinion doesnt look like its comig back anytime soon, i have a little regrowth but its only in the spots where i still have hair on the very top of my head, its not filling in the spots, i think the reason i have started to accept it is because of the friends i have this time, we joke about it and just make comments and stuff and they also tell me i look good and help me out with my wigs and such, so i think your support is a big reason of when and why you will start to accept it. but it will get better, only when you decide it is time.

Permalink Reply by Angelica Carr on November 12, 2011 at 5:30pm

Hi, I personally do not have alopecia but my 5 year old daughter does, it began at age 3 and all her hair fell off including eyebrows and eyelashes. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to be going through this however there is always hope...My daughter had alopecia universalis and her hair is beginning to grow back. I was distraught at first because my baby was not going to be accepted. But I tell you what there are places that will give you love and support. I bought my daughter a wig that was paid by my insurance company and it was a good good wig. Also there are extensions and you can get your eyebrows tattoed there are many alternatives to this. Please please do not feel alone there are many others that have this condition and it does get better. Also stress does not help you....the dermatologist that saw may daughter told me it was probably that stress was causing this so please try to remain positive and God is there and he is listening. If you need anyone to talk to i can give you my number and we can come up with solutions...Please take care of yourself.

Permalink Reply by alicia on November 12, 2011 at 5:49pm
Thank you Erika and Angelica, its means so much to me that there are people who care. I've isolated my self from everyone because I've lost my reason to smile, it feels as though the walls are closing in and I can't do anything about it:'( no matter what I say or do I'm just so unhappy:'( Gods taking the one thing in my life that makes me positive about my self. It hurts so so much its an unexplainable horrible feeling. Emotional pain hurts even more than physical pain:'( I hate feeling this way, I suffered during my childhood now I have to suffer emotionally in my adulthood:'( this is hard to handle. I just cannot accept the way I would look completely bald:'(
Permalink Reply by Erika on November 12, 2011 at 5:56pm

I totally agree... because this time around it has gotten so worse, i have finally decided i want to shave my head, i found a synthetic wig i like, and am looking into getting a human hair one as well once i can get the money.. but now the next hard part is actually taking a razor to my head.. i decided almost a month ago i want to do it. but have yet to.. It is very hard, but then i look around when im in public and i see other women with no hair, and they rock it.. so i know if and when i actually do it i have to do it with confidence, because if i try to hide it or act scared at the fact that im bald, that will be when people notice more.. but if i just walk around with my head up high, not caring, they i can be happy about it. it takes time for sure, and i feel still new to it as well, its hard i find, talking to people who have had it for years, or had it when they were a child, i would rather talk to the ones who are in the same stages of aceptance that i am in.. Do you have a boyfriend right now?> I thought i was lucky in the beginning because my boyfriend was with me when i first started noticing my hair... but now thats its gotten worse.. he is living in another province for work as well... so its gotten really hard and may end our relationship, i dont have a choice to live with this but he does.. but after finding this website and reading about all these people who have guys who accept them with or without hair.. i know myself that if we end up braeking up, i will find someone else, when the times right, im still young, and the same for you, everyones got a different story, you will find your coping methods and everyone is here to help, friends family and everyone on this site who has to deal with the same thing.

Permalink Reply by alicia on November 12, 2011 at 6:06pm
Hey Erika, yes I do have a boyfriend. He is extremely supportive, he is with me through it all. Maybe him and the rest of the world my accept if i go bald but I will not accept it:'( its just so so unacceptable! I wish that this was only a dream and I'd wake up from it but its real and I've got to face it but I don't know how to face it. Are you from south africa?
Permalink Reply by Erika on November 12, 2011 at 6:12pm

yeah i know, might take you awhile and who knows, by then, your hair might start coming back and might not fall out again, thats what i hate most about this is the unpredictable part... I am from Canada actually. You are lucky to have people in your life to be there for you, and hopefully they will understand how hard it is to.. I recently went to my old work to visit and was talking to my boss and she asked why i dont just shave my head, she said she would,but then she did think about that and said actually she doesnt know because its not happening to her, and i said yea thats the hard part lol, i want to shave my head but im not ready for it, i have a little hair left and i can put it in a ponytail still but my sides are gone and there are patched all over the top and back so its not a full ponytail... its rough but one your own time you will get through it..

Permalink Reply by Alliegator on November 12, 2011 at 6:40pm

I am sorry you are going through that, but it will be okay. I was diagnosed with AGA at 16/17. I am now 28. I suggest you talk to people on here, blog about your feelings and try to find someone in your life that you can talk to about it. You are not alone. There are other members on here who know how you feel. It may not feel like it now, but everything will be okay. You will find your way to cope with it. Until then, we are here to help. You are beautiful inside and out!

Permalink Reply by alicia on November 12, 2011 at 6:58pm
Aw thank you alliegator you are truly Beautiful inside out as well. Although there are people around me I feel so alone, because the truth is that no one how it feels unless they go through it themselves. I just wnt all the hair that I lost back:( I'm so hurt and torn inside. How can one survive with all this traumatic stress? Its unbearable!
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on November 13, 2011 at 12:42am

If you keep thinking about it, it won't go away. So, since you already know the ouch-ache-stress-pain-sad side, go ahead and live life anyway, in defiance of alopecia. You just may pick up some skills, talents, good times, education and friends on the way. Eventually, alopecia will take a back seat.

Permalink Reply by Alliegator on November 15, 2011 at 10:01am

I agree Tallgirl! Alicia, Yes no one knows how it feels unless they go through it, but you will find supportive people in your life whether they listen when you are upset or cut your hair when you are ready for that. One of my friends talked me into trying on a wig then went to 3 stores with me. That was the best thing she could have done for me. This will take a back seat eventually. You will survive this! We are here to help!

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