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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on July 2, 2010 at 8:52am

Since the problem can't be solved overnight...since humans have a hard time getting thoughts out of the head...I say, get something ELSE to think about that you will really enjoy! Travel, love, movies, art, music, gardening, visiting a particular friend, new outfit, make-over at cosmetics counter, sports, sewing, parades and fireworks, cooking...or a fantastic new hat, wig, turban or scarf to create a new you. Go look at all the photos on this site for ideas of what YOU would like to try for yourself! The strength we all have if the strength of choice, the strength of change...how lucky we are humans and have those capacities!

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Permalink Reply by KATHLEEN B. on July 2, 2010 at 12:06pm

Awww.. Lucy ...chin up...i don`t think you realize just how strong of a girl your are!!... I truly believe that God does not give us things he thinks we can not handle..... You have more inner strength then you even know!!..."Any one can give up, it`s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that`s true strength"..... Losing your hair is not fun, and can be very frustrating... But you just have to remember "Life could be way worse then having hair problems".... Never let your hair get in the way of following your dreams... As painful and emotionally traumatic hair loss can be it has made me grow and be thankful for the things that are "good" in my life... Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad....Lucy I read on your page you`re only 13... I was 20ish when i first got AA and had a rough time with at first.. you inspire me, because you`re such a tough little girl being so young and dealing with AA.

Hope your feel a little better...Have you checked out Kayla Martell (Miss Delaware)?.. Talk about inspirational! :)

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on July 2, 2010 at 12:20pm

Hi Lucey,

I read your blog and I wanted to respond to you. All of us have had similar feelings. Nobody breezes through alopecia. I remember wonder, how am I going to deal with this?

It took time and a lot of mental energy. But the hardest thing for me was hiding. It sucked up so much of my energy and was constantly on my mind. Where do I sit in restaurants, try to stay in the back so no one is behind me, I was worried about people hugging me, people touch my hair, people noticing the difference between my natural hair and my wig, people asking me questions. When I first moved back to Montreal after my divorce, I stayed with my sister for a bit and slept on her couch with my wig on so that her husband wouldn’t see me without the wig. These thoughts nagged at me all the time.

Then it happened, I just couldn’t do it anymore and had to find another way to live. It was at that point that I threw my hands in the air and gave up. It started off at home, it was my freedom zone, when I was in my home, I stopped wearing my wig. If friends and family came over, I was not going to cover up in my home they would just have to deal with it. This feeling started extended on its own to answering my door or picking up my mail from my mailbox.

I also gave permission to my friends and family that knew about my alopecia to stop covering for me, because in fact that is what I was asking them to do for me. We spoke about what I would prefer them to say to anyone that asked them questions. I did this because I felt most people asked my friend and family about my situation than me. And as people asked me I told them the truth too.

At this point I was still wearing my wigs. The fact that I went further to the point of no longer wearing a wig is irrelevant, it was at this point that I stopped hiding and at this point the burden was taken off of my shoulders. At this point I was finally able to let go of the shame I was feeling.

This was my way out and it may be different from others. But I thought I would share my story. Keep plugging along Lucey, hope floats.

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Permalink Reply by Garden Girl on July 5, 2010 at 1:06am

Hang in there!!!!! You are more than your hair...I am sending you some positive energy:)

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Permalink Reply by Christa M. on July 9, 2010 at 3:33pm

Hi Lucey, I think you did the first step to cope well with it: you told your thoughts. I believe that most of us went through this ugly period. So did I: then I built my first aid case for ugly moments:
- do you have arms, legs and other parts of your body that work fine? Yes? Good point. Lucky you.
- do you have people who love you? Family? Yes? Fine. Others don't.
- I am sure that you are very nice, with or without hair. For me every smiling face is nice...ok, hard for you today, but possible tomorrow and easy in some longer time.
- we are 'remarkable' quite a little bit like TV-stars. Once we go out bald, we have a lot of human contact that can make us happy if we show our courage to the others. SMILE and the world will do the same (the ecxceptions are people with personal social problems).
- and I am sure you will soon be more mature than your class mates, because you'll know what is really important in life.
- You are the copy of nobody: you are the real you, unique version of a human beeing: YOU. And you are a chance for the world to learn acceptance of difference.
- Today it's hard, tomorrow it will be a little easier and next week/month/year, you will have a strength you never had and others without alopecia will never have in their life! You changed in the last thirteen years, you will change in the next thirteen years.
Good luck

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Permalink Reply by caroline knight on September 7, 2010 at 8:44pm

when i go out 4 a nite out i sumtimes use a little eye lash glu on d bald patches n smooth down a very fine amount off hair frm above this lasts til the next day loks like there is no gap + is handy cos it doesnt blow in wind!!!! this + hair bands, clips, hats, scarths also found it easier once people knew so i didnt feel as embarest or dat i had 2 hide so much if all els fails i will get a real hair wig i think it wud look beta dan wot i have now anyway! ur hair may jus b acting like dis temporerally coz of d big hormone changes u r goin thru mine does dat + always comes back eventually so keep dancing + reolize you r still beutiful weather d hair on your head is yours or a wig off som1 els lol the hair on them d same dead lol hugs 2 you our not alone :) X

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