Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Royce D Eggleston on July 3, 2012 at 2:02am

You are right Andre, you dont have an option to be choosy...
I understand your anger and hence frustation and pain, however I am not going to feed you some bullshit or underestimate the importance of physical attraction among humanbeings inparticular teenagers(which has been described by many including myself as the meanest people on the planet). I will share with you my experience, hope and maybe you will be less angry and more accepting with the dreaded AA. I'm a 46 year old male with AU since the age of ten. I have felt the way you feel, especially as a youngster. I have been through the bodybuilding stage(a few times), I even at times became a "snazzy-dresser." However today I'm in my second marriage and I have 4 biological children with healthy hair. I have managed to love without motives, and I no longer ponder if a lady loves me just because they speak it. LOVE is a action word. Besides in a hundred years you will not be able to understand how females think. If a person diagnosed with AA love what happened to them, there full of shit. ACCEPTANCE DOESN'T MEAN APPROVAL. In time I have become serene with the situation, so Andre, I hope you in time will also be at peace with it. If you do, you gonna develope other ways to attract beautiful women trust me. A blind man can hear extremely well, noticing and enjoy life in ways only he can. Over the years I didn't get the girl(s) my heart desired, and I have shed a few tears in the dark. But then again a fool's heart is protected. Be patient and be encourage, Laugh and Cry then laugh again.

Permalink Reply by RonaldStone on July 3, 2012 at 5:11pm

I am 26 now, and have had aa sense 10-11 yrs old. In hindsight it Realy is personality that matters. Yea it sucks to be delt a shitty hand but in reality it is just a small hindrance to attain what you want. From this obstacle you can gain a far greater understanding and insight than most people do living superficially.

Permalink Reply by Natasha Gehrke on July 5, 2012 at 6:18am

If people don't want you for who you are then those girls aren't worth it. Alopecia makes you a stronger person not a weaker or less attractive one. Alopecia is a part of who you are and whoever you date will need to realize that. For what it matters I think bald is beautiful even on a man.

Permalink Reply by Piotr on July 6, 2012 at 12:19pm

Andre, I feel your bitterness and frustration being a 16 year old handsome guy in high school. I'm sure your testosterone levels are going through the roof. The fact that even getting a date or even getting noticed is crushing to your manhood because your peers are having so much luck. BE PATIENT! DON'T LOOSE IT! What De-Nise said has a lot of weight. Focus on portraying a positive attitude always or pretend to do so. Nobody wants to be around someone who is seen as negative, Andre. Then fake it. Without a doubt, your self esteem won't have to take a dive if you don't let it. For example, if girls call you ugly then respond by saying, "your mama didn't think so last night". Always show others respect but expect the same back. Because we look different, doesn't mean one can make fun of our medical condition. You will need to accept alopecia eventually and make the best of it. Improve your stock (like in the NYSE) meaning: Get the body others scream for :), start a new sport (yoga, martial arts, etc); yes get a tan, be the best in school, get ANY job, and read books. These things will build your self esteem. Try to respond with humor. Girls love humor and self confidence. Looking different and being different has its advantages, too. Others will approach you out of curiousity and that's when your fantastic personality, integrity, self esteem, pride, unaffectiveness must show through.

Permalink Reply by Hannah on December 15, 2012 at 7:38pm

Hey Andre,

I gotta say that I can totally relate. I got Alopecia Universalis right before my Freshman year in High School. Yeah, it really sucked for a while. It's a hard thing to accept and it's even more difficult to listen to all these girls complaining about their hairstyles and hair problems. I mean, seriously? They don't know how lucky they are.

With volleyball and some really good friends, I've come to better terms with the condition, but I'm still angry that it happened to me and everyday I hope for a change.

I hope you know that the girls at your school are just plain blind. You're a good looking guy and if they can't see past the fact you have no hair, they don't deserve you.

Stay strong,
Hannah

Permalink Reply by jpeg84 on January 25, 2013 at 1:57pm

Bald look is accepted by 37% of women according to some Maxim survey. If you want to believe that or not its up to you. Point is, a good amount of women think its sexy.

I don't have much problem attracting women with a shaved head. And heck, half the time I'm wearing a hat so no one even notices really. I also like the fact I can shower that much quicker. Would I do anything to have my hair back, in a heartbeat! But right now I'm living with what I have.

You look like your in good shape. Keep going to the gym to stay fit but no need to get jacked. And don't worry about HS girls, they'll grow up eventually. I'm sure things will get better in college and later in life. You don't win girls over with looks, you win them over with humor and showing that your confident about yourself and any situation your placed in. Cofidence is sexy to women.

Permalink Reply by Jack on February 13, 2013 at 4:11am

"Bald look is accepted by 37% of women according to some Maxim survey".

So in other words, even in the most positive light, it's a dealbreaker to 2/3 woman or 7 out of 10. I really wish they would keep these surveys to themselves. I don't want to sound negative but articles/surveys only add fuel to the fire. Media causes problems, it doesn't solve them.

Permalink Reply by Dorothy G. on January 27, 2013 at 10:57pm

Andre,
I had hair when I was in high school and I was called ugly. It hurts and it's hard but you have to move on from it. Keep your chin up and stay positive. Negativity won't help you.

Permalink Reply by Heather on January 31, 2013 at 10:47am

Hi Andre,

I can't really say I've been in your situation, but I have been a girl in high school with Alopecia. I get what you mean. Every magazine article talks about how a guy's favourite feature on a girl is her hair. I've had guys like me until they find out about my hair, and then just leave. It sucks. I guess I sort of realized that you don't really want the people that are bothered by your hair, but I know that that doesn't really help you at the moment. Personally, I think bald guys are sexy (not just because I'm bald) and a lot of my friends agree. I also know a guy who has alopecia and he just sort of rocks it and acts confident about it. The confidence really attracts girls and they don't care about the bald thing. For now, I guess there's not a lot you can do. It's great you're getting in shape, and obviously girls will find that super attractive. The main thing I think is to just be confident about it (honestly, nothing is as hot as confidence). I'm in uni now and it's a lot better with the whole thing. I guess you can look forward to university because a) there's way more girls, an b) people don't really care about high school crap anymore.

Goodluck!

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