Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on December 9, 2013 at 7:07pm

Hi Tovah

I'm sorry you are feeling so terrible about your hairloss at the moment.  I don't agree that this is hopeless but I do think that it is difficult and challenging. 

As I see it you don't have to get a wig.  Wigs are just one of the choices available which helps you to present yourself how you feel the most comfortable.  Other alternatives may work for you.  Talk to the ladies here that prefer not to wear any type of headcovering, or the ladies that love scarves and hats.  This is just about making a choice on what you want to do with regards to how the rest of the world see you.  You can't change your hairloss but you can make decisions around how you want to handle it. 

I understand you are feeling a bit stuck and overwhelmed.  Just take your time and stop being cruel to yourself.  If this was happening to someone you loved, I'm absolutely sure that you would be supportive, caring and loving.....do that for yourself.  Look at yourself with kindness and care.  

If you decide a wig is what you feel would help then take your time again making a decision on what you actually need.  Write a list of those needs and then search for a wig that meets those needs.

If I can help in any way just let me know.

Rosy

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Tovah on December 9, 2013 at 7:33pm

Hi Rosy:

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply.It really means alot to me. I don't know what set off this latest massive shedding, but today I was just crying and crying. Other days I handle it just really well.

 

I think I would probably do that scarf thing rather than a wig.

 

All my best, Tovah

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ellen Chinery on December 10, 2013 at 11:42am

Hi Tovah!

I completely identify with how you can't stop looking in the mirror! It can become such an obsession!! And I feel like people don't understand. They'll say "If it bothers you, why do you spend so much time looking in the mirror?" It's so strange how I feel like I NEED to. 

I developed AA in 2009, and within a few months, I lost all of my hair (AU). And last year, my hair started growing back. But is now falling out, and I have huge patches all over my head. It's so easy to feel sorry for myself, and stay in, avoid people. I hate people, especially girls with beautiful hair. But you just being active on this site helps me. When I read this, I felt a little less alone. 

And about the wig. It's funny, when my hair started growing back, I forgot that I could survive without any hair...forgot that I could be okay, and go throughout my day. I forget that life continues, and I can continue to be happy and live my life. When I had no hair, I chose to wear a wig for school and work to maintain some normalcy, but didn't wear one other than that. 

I am sorry that you're going through this. But it will be okay, and you can still live your life. Have you tried to locate any support groups? It can be helpful to be around others who have been through it all :) And for the time being, just try to take everything a day at a time, maybe even just one moment at a time. 

-Ellen

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Tovah on December 10, 2013 at 7:24pm

Hi Ellen:

Thank you so much for the reply,

I really appreciate people that don't undermine me; like saying, "whats the big deal? Wear a wig! It's so much deeper than that and only something that others that are going through this would understand. It affects so much a part of our self-esteem. I know that there are strong people who just get along with shaving their heads and bam! Done!

 

I'm going to write a post on my last dermatologist visit where they gave me a list of stuff to take, like Rogaine, skin, hair and nails pills, all the stuff I've gone through a million times.

 

I called the dermatologist back to say that it's worse than ever and this nurse called me back to say there's nothing more that can be done.( I thought they would at least recommend an endocrinologist, but,..nope!) I said, 'Well, I guess I'm just screwed then. I didn't hear a word from her and then she hung up on me.

 

I'm so sorry that your hair came back only to lose it again.  It's torturous.

 

My hair loss is pretty bad now, but I could still get in some extensions today and I felt pretty good.

 

We'll see,

 

All my best,

Tovah

• ▶ Reply