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In the news: Gail Porter fears she'll never marry beacuse of alopecia! What do you think?
Just came across an article that says Gail Porter fears she'll never get married again because of ther alopecia. Here's the link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2852919/Gail-Porter-fe...
What do you think?
I was and still happily married when my alopecia universalis decided to make an appearance so I can't really judge. I do sometimes wonder what if? I wear a lovely freedom, and I never go out without it. I do get hit on (when my husband is not around :) not that I am seeking the attention; never liked extra attention and that is one of the reasons I will not go out with my wig, but what if I take my wig off, I am pretty sure the reaction would be different ...and rather amusing :)
But one thing I have to say, is that I've learned that it's really how you carry and portray yourself. I have no idea if people realize I wear a wig or not but honestly I couldn't care less. I think that comes with turning 40.
Would love to hear your stories!
Have a great weekend.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rose Marie' on
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Hi
I have had many discussions with ladies and men dealing with alopecia. I feel it is the way you view yourself that matters to begin with. If you think you are unworthy, unlovable, don't meet the supposed mark in some way....guess what...you will be right. I'm not talking airy fairy stuff...I'm talking reality. I feel you should always put your best self forward and strife to be your best self. You should present yourself how you feel most comfortable and have the blurb to go with it. Secrecy can be a burden, as can be being bolshi and aggressive. It helps Everybody including those dealing with this condition to find out who they are and how they want to be.
Victim orientated thinking can be so destructive (even though at some point when healing through this it is very normal).
People have different timelines to heal and find their new normal. When this happens absolutely nobody has every said to me ....yahhh so pleased alopecia picked me. But I have met many ladies and men that are extremely happy with their lifes.
Gail has many issues going on other than her alopecia, I believe she is brave and good person. Maybe she does feel like love won't come into her life at this time, but maybe that is just where she is now. Life moves and changes, nobody knows what is around the corner. I would say Gail is transitioning her mental illness and her alopecia into a good life for herself. Not putting someone else in the mix seems pretty sensible stuff ... looking from the outside. I wish her well and believe that if she wants love she will find it once again.
Some of the stuff written in that article smacks of sensationalism to sell the paper...I don't like and I don't believe it. (Just my opinion)
Sarah, my daughter also wears freedom wigs and they do give you an ability to be annonymous with regards to your alopecia...and that can be a really empowering thing. But they don't take away the fact that you have alopecia and it has to be dealt with by you everyday. Relationships, friendships, etc still need to be negotiated in a honest and upfront way....but with a very good wig that can be done at your pace when you feel most comfortable.
You need to ask some of the ladies that prefer to present without hair what the reactions are to the attractiveness. I would think they are very positive. Most that decide this is how they prefer to present themselves, have also worked out what they need to do in public to resolve the curiosity. I know Cheryl in particular has used the curiosity for education of those around her. People find so many ways to deal with this condition. There is no wrong way as long as you are being authentic around your personal needs, which may mean you feel more comfortable with a scarf, hat, wig, or nothing.
Rosy
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Permalink Reply by Jo S on
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I too am happily married and the alopecia has been a total shock to both of us and made for a tricky 2014.
I wore a wig for nearly four months, no one had any idea because she looked so good, but she was uncomfortable for me to wear day in and day out and I felt like a liar.
With our hot summer just starting I last week decided to man up and go to work with a shaved head and a hat on. It felt good to start with but now I don't know which is better. I can see where Gail is coming from. I have good days when I think this is me deal with it, and days when I just want to hide indoors. Its a constant internal fight.
As I go about my business be it shopping or jogging or anything at all I see people look at me (two have even asked if I'm having chemo) I wonder if I'm being over sensitive or are they really looking at me and wondering about my lack of hair.
Everyone I know is totally supportive but still it's a struggle.
There is no real point to my comments, only I can see how this condition messes with my self esteem and my thinking patterns so it must be doing the same to many others. (no body would guess I feel so bad internally about alopecia, I'm a master at hiding emotions)
Jo
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Look at this website. Most men are single. Most women are married. Its easy for a woman to find a man. Alopecia or not.
Reading the article, her mental issues and emotional instability will stop her from finding a man not her alopecia.
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Reread your own last sentence 50 times, Andrey.
Maybe counseling is the answer for some people???
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I already go to a therapist it doesn't do anything for me TG. Therapy just helps you address coping mechanism it never actually fixes the root problem.
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Well. I have alopecia. But I also have the strong feeling that Gail's issue may be her difficulties dealing with Bi-Polar Disorder, not alopecia. Being bald may become, more or less, routine. Asking a mate to deal with the kind of issues Gail describes is not so routine. My last boyfriend had to deal with my hair loss, but he did not have to worry that I would be "a danger to myself". Loss of hair I can deal with. Lost of mental stability is a different ball game. I'll take the hair loss.
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Permalink Reply by AlopeciaDestroyedMyLife on
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Personally I think It would be very hard for this not to be true unless Gail starts wearing a wig .
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