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Increasing self - esteem
Hi everyone - hope you are all ok.
I'm posting as I have AU and would desparately like to feel better about my self. I generally feel very unattractive (I am married but my husband isn't much of a complementer, no matter how much trouble I have been to) I know that feeling good about myself must come from inside me not from what anyone says.
I keep trying to do things that might pamper myself - I have a make-up session booked and I explained to the lady about the AU and she put my mind at ease - I'm now nervous because she will have to spend time looking at me - and I hate that. I've been looking into a burlesque lessons too, because I thought I might feel a bit more confident and stuff.
I also would dearly love to be involved in amateur dramatics I was as a teenager (had AA then) I've had this strong pull for a long time, now I have some time to go and do it, as much as I want to I'm terrified. I think it's the lack of eyebrows and eyelashes that bothers me, becasue a wig can be excused on the stage but having no eyelashes is so obvious. If the group don't accept me, I'll be devastated.
I already avoid doing so much stuff because I am crippled by lack of confidence I feel to do the above is a way of setting myself free.
I wondered if anyone had any advice that had helped them to feel better about themselves and get on with doing things they want to do.
I'm posting as I have AU and would desparately like to feel better about my self. I generally feel very unattractive (I am married but my husband isn't much of a complementer, no matter how much trouble I have been to) I know that feeling good about myself must come from inside me not from what anyone says.
I keep trying to do things that might pamper myself - I have a make-up session booked and I explained to the lady about the AU and she put my mind at ease - I'm now nervous because she will have to spend time looking at me - and I hate that. I've been looking into a burlesque lessons too, because I thought I might feel a bit more confident and stuff.
I also would dearly love to be involved in amateur dramatics I was as a teenager (had AA then) I've had this strong pull for a long time, now I have some time to go and do it, as much as I want to I'm terrified. I think it's the lack of eyebrows and eyelashes that bothers me, becasue a wig can be excused on the stage but having no eyelashes is so obvious. If the group don't accept me, I'll be devastated.
I already avoid doing so much stuff because I am crippled by lack of confidence I feel to do the above is a way of setting myself free.
I wondered if anyone had any advice that had helped them to feel better about themselves and get on with doing things they want to do.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by jake on
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The only advice or mind set I should say that helped me early on was knowing that I didnt ask for this. Its just hair, it doesnt make you unhealthy, unfit, or unable. Maybe start looking hard into the beauty that is around you everyday in the trees, in the skyline of a city, even in the cracks in the sidewalks, and reflect that through yourself. use everything around you to get out of your head and eventually youll realize that you dont even have to concern yourself with your image because we are all part of the same. And when some ignorant ass hole calls you out just smile and say thats just the way it grows. the longer you hide it, the further you fall from yourself. As for the acting, well some rolls may require hair, eyebrows and eyelashes, if that is what they tell you (which they probably wont have the nuts to say that) just understand that and dont be down on yourself just like a skinny black girl wouldnt be able to play santa claus.
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Permalink Reply by Lee on
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I would just keep doing what you are doing...and know that you are not alone! I don't mind being bald...but I HATE the no lash thing too. Ever try false ones? I wear them when I play gigs because I know there a lot of people looking at me...honestly though, if you wear eyeliner...no one will notice your lack of lashes. ; ) take care!!
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Permalink Reply by Jane on
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If you feel unsure of yourself, I would say talk to your Priest (or Nun) you always know the right ones (and some of them are MD/PhD’s as well, if it matters/helps)…
Esteem isn’t something that can be broken. It is your God-given sense of self, that intangible quality that is inherently attached to your unique personality. You have it. No one can take it from you. But, anyone who doesn’t appreciate it isn’t really worthy of your friendship, love or affiliation. Good luck
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Permalink Reply by Bev Wood on
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I just wanted to say a big thankyou for your replies - I really do appreciate what you have said. It's a relief that there are other poeple going through this - I guess I need to hang around here moe often.
Thankyou again
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Permalink Reply by meg on
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I know all about what you are going through... I too want love and acceptance... but it will not come from others especially from those closest to us that cannot express themselves. Essentially it is about you and how you feel about yourself. Your mind is set to think that you are not that, the mind set is ruled by fear. I have asked myself many times as I have undergone various stages of AA; o.k., so what will really change in my life if I go AU? How really different is it from the life I lead now? When I did the Pro/Con listing there was very little difference, and in some cases the stuff that I thought was valuable and was worried about losing wasn't as valuable after all. It was like some invisible burden was taken away after I did this listing. The more I resisted the way I looked the crazier I made myself... why worry about eyelashes on stage when everyone will wear all types of prosthetics? The make-up session will be the most beneficial thing you can do... since it should provide the most information of anything that you have planned for yourself. The make-up professional is there to serve your needs... and she/he most likely has seen everything...By the way, make-up stays on better and has a finer finish when there is no fine facial hair and make-up professionals prefer models without any fine hairs on the faces! Think of that hairy chinned last customer of the make-up professional and the relief when she/he works with you!
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Permalink Reply by Julia Gedeon on
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Yes, I agreee the eyebrows and eyelashes are a real kick in the pants.. I would happily make the deal to have no hair if ONLY I CAN GET BACK the eyelashes and eyebrows. BUT here is the good news..you are hardest on yourself.. I ABSOLUTELY guarantee it. Most of the time people dont even realize that you have no lashes... its just not something people look for. I wear eyeliner and its almost NEVER been an issue.. in fact when the topic of ALopecia comes up I am often the one that has to tell people "look closely and you'll see I have no lashes"
I do theatre all the time, my husband and I both do.. in fact that is how we met. I love it.. its my outlet.. its my hobby and my passion. I have met some AMAZING AMAZING people doing theatre, in fact now 90% of my social life revolves around the people I have met on stage. The best part about being on stage is all the different looks and parts you can aquire, if you have a love for acting, singing, dancing or whatever, do NOT deprive yourself becaue you think Someone somewhere may have an issue with it.. TO HECK with them.. truly.. ALTHOUGH i bet you will find that you simply dont give people enough credit....its easy to just stay in the shadows because you think you may not be accepted or that it seems so obvious that you are not exactly like the other person.. but you are missing out of so much..its worth the gamble to put yourself out there.. believe me.. its worth it!
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Thankyou so much - I have made the call to the theatre group and have an interview/audition on 24th Feb. I talked to the lady on the phone and explained and she said she couldn't see any reason why it would be a problem, she just explained that they only do 5 plays per yr and not always that many parts to go round all the members so it may be that there wouldn't be a part but that would not necessarily be a reflection of me. So I really am just happy to get involved however I can and wait for something suitable - but have made the first step in doing something that I have wanted to do for so many yrs.
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