Alopecia World
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It's not the end of the world...But it sure feels like it
I feel betrayed.
I am now a recluse and refuse to leave my house unless I have to. I just no longer feel comfortable being around people because I feel like a freak of nature.
Literally one day in April, I ran my hand through my hair and long strands came out. My roommate starts complaining about having to pick my hair up in the kitchen. A few days later I wake up and find two huge bald spots on either side of head. There are bald spots everywhere and literally feels like my hair is trying to jump off my scalp. I had a complete and total meltdown and have been crying every day for the last two months because I never thought I would have to deal with this again.
This isn't the first time my hair fell out. It first fell out when I was 12. It was slow to fall but by eighth grade, I shaved my head and wore a wig. The most miserable year of my life. However, I had full regrowth a year later and never had to deal with it again.
That was 15 years ago! Until now, I had long hair past my shoulders that people always complimented me on (black people have this thing about "good hair" and long hair). I loved my hair and always took special care of it because I was thankful and grateful that it grew back. I started taking multivitamins and biotin to help it grow a few months ago and I honestly think that is what triggered my alopecia to come back.
So hear I sit at home, declining invitations and keeping to myself. The thought of having to shave my head again and wear a wig makes me depressed. I really need some support to help me through this. Thanks for letting me vent.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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What I see in your photo is a fantastic smile. I'll bet that's what others really notice and remember about you, too.
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Permalink Reply by Allison on
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Hi shimmyshimmyya!!
I just want to say that I sympathize with you. I am new to this site but not new to alopecia. I've had this condition since the 6th grade but now that I'm older, it appears to get worse. I believe stress is what triggers my condition. After all these years, I still can't accept it and refuse to. I am constantly researching and experimenting with ways to suppress this condition. I am on the internet daily for home remedies. I have been experimenting with my body like a mad scientist! My bathroom looks like a science lab. I create all sorts of concoctions! lol No one in my family or friends have this condition and they can't relate. They basically tell me to just get over it and what matters is on the inside. Well, that's all fine and dandy but I'm not at that point. I do try to put things in perspective ie there are people who are fighting for their life and I'm sitting here crying about having bold patches and no facial hair. I have now lost eyebrows and eyelashes and feel so unattractive. It's funny that I use to wondering why someone would shave their eyebrows just to draw them back on.....well, now I'm that person. lol
~Allison
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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I can totally relate to your story. I too had alopecia when I was in highschool. A couple of spots on the back of my head. I got shots and a few months later it grew back. 20 years later alopecia came back with a vengeance!!! This time I have universalis. The same two spots in the back appreared but even with every type of treatment I was losing hair at an alarming rate. I have now lost my eyelashes, eybrows, nosehairs, every hair on my body. It's been about a year and a half since everything fell out. I too had very long hair past my shoulders that everyone would compliment. It was so hard in the beginning. I didn't want to leave my house! Now I feel like it is what it is. Depending on how I'm feeling that day I may wear a scarf or wig. I've only gone out bald twice and both times were to a spa. I hid behind my huge sunglasses those days, lol. I promise you it will get easier. I won't say that i don't have my bad days because believe me I still do. Keep your head up and walk around like you own the place. If you are confident in yourself (even if you have to fake it like me ;)others around you won't give your bald head a second look. I was surprised that everyone was not staring at me. I even got a couple compliments on how good I looked bald. Lol, I feel like I look like a cone head, whatever! We could have it so much worse. Try to find other alopecians in your area, it always helps to have a friend who can relate. God bless.
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Permalink Reply by Julius Taylor on
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I understand how you feel. My hair came out when I was in fifth grade and the next to years were hell. You know how kids are. My hair grew back and I had braids and everything was great. Last year my hair started to come back out again and I had to shave my head. I rarely leave the house without wearing a fitted cap. I mean it is annoying having to do these things, but what I have learn is that this Alopecia can make you feel very low. You have to surround yourself with people that do not care about your condition and people who embrace you for who you are, not what you look like. You are a beautiful and you should feel that way. Staying in the house is not going to change anything nor will it make your feel better. Find something that will make you feel good. For me it's music. I share with people that I have Alopecia through my music. So in the mist of having a good time and enjoying the music, they learn something. Please keep your head up because we have to show people that we are stronger than they give us credit for.
Julius.
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Permalink Reply by monkeyhanger on
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good luck to you and hope you recover once again. I'm a 30 year old man suffering with alopechia for the first time and its harsh enough for me to shave my head but it must be 10 times worse for a female. try not to get yourself down, you still have good overall health and things could allways be a lot worse than losing a bit of hair. anyway fingers crossed you get it all back really soon ;-) and try not hide away from the world, you are beautiful
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Permalink Reply by Ania on
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Hi all
I've not checked the AW website for a couple of weeks and it is sooo good to be back. This condition is tough and sometimes it is really hard to keep things in perspective. I find weekends difficult, during the week I work a lot and I don't have that much time to think. It's easy to close off, really easy. But let's all really try to be the best version of ourselves, and let our beauty, kindness, creativity and all the wonderful things we all have within shine.
Thanks so much for this forum, it keeps me going.
Love
Ania
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