My alopecic and adorable wife doesn't wear wigs or any other head covering. Nevertheless, sometimes I wonder how I might have reacted if she hadn't allowed me to actually see her alopecia until months after I started dating her. What if she had concealed her alopecia only to reveal it to me after we fell in love -- or simply after I became accustomed to seeing her with a wig on?

Would it have made a difference? I really don't think so, but this I know for sure: It's one thing to know that someone has alopecia and quite another to know what they actually look like with the condition.

Given the importance of looks in the context of most amorous relationships, how important might it be for an alopecian to show their condition to someone with whom their developing a serious relationship? How risky might it be for an alopecian to simply tell a love interest about their condition and only unveil it after the relationship is quite serious? Indeed, is this a general problem area for single, or even married, alopecians that you know?

Some time ago, someone rightly pointed out that it's not appropriate to reveal such personal matters to just anyone. Therefore, I need to emphasize that this is NOT the issue I'm raising with this discussion.

Rather, I'm here interested in knowing your thoughts on the following issue alone: Does there come a time in a developing (or existing) relationship when it will no longer suffice for a love interest to merely know that their partner has alopecia but not know what the person actually looks like with the condition? Is it possible for an alopecian to keep this "secret" too long in such a relationship?