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Permalink Reply by Pamela on May 30, 2019 at 1:53pm

I absolutely relate. I go no where with out my wig. I have a freedom wig, but live in Fl so I can't wear it to much and not at all in the super hot months.  Otherwise I just go with the Paula Young wigs.  I have had AU since I was 35.  Stress is a big factor of my struggle.  I did grow it back after 10 years once.  Kept it for 20.  Then my parents fell ill and dies.  Bingo all gone and still is.  I have been married for 50 years so no husband issues and he is the only one I let see me without my wigs.  Not even my kids.  Everybody can tell a person wears wigs, not hard.  I can pick them out in a second.  I have no earth shattering advise about how to catch a man.  If I lost mine, I would  not be looking  for another.  lol

Just hang in there.  Don't dwell on it.  (not easy).  Maybe someday it will come back.

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Permalink Reply by Alo-mom on June 6, 2019 at 9:56am

I may not have Alopecia, but as the mother of a daughter that does I can tell you the road to acceptance is almost harder than having it yourself. Why you ask? This is why. I know how I am feeling, but I have struggled every day hoping that my daughter is accepting of her AU and continues to live a full life. Funny part is she worried more about me when she got AU then herself. She saw me sad and unable to eat and not enjoying life as I once new it. I realized that it was my duty, job and responsibility as a mother to be a strong and guiding light in her journey. I totally understand that you see you need to make your daughter happy and I could not agree with you more. I believe that my accepting of her AU and finding the wigs, lashes and cosmetic fixes to her situation is what has made her life amazing. She finished college while losing her hair, she found the career she loves and most importantly the man who loves her and married her last month. We as mothers must lead the way for our children.

Now that being said no, not everyone knows you are wearing a wig. Yes, we who wear wigs and know them can see them more clearly, BUT the majority of people do not see what we see. It is like a painter or a plumber that have trained eyes that can see the problem or issue straight while we could not see a leaky value or spot bubbling paint because we are not looking for it. Hope that makes sense. 

I like to think that most all women are wearing sometype of hair extension, false eyelashes or have tattooed their eyebrows or had permenant make up. We are all wearing something that is not god given.

I think the key to stopping your thought process of "who would want me", needs to subside and when you believe you are worthy of love, others will as well. My daughter gave me great advice when she was losing her hair,"please mom, don't make a big thing of this and others will not as well". This is how she found love and acceptance with her close girlfriends and eventually her boyfriend, now husband. 

This is bottom line you need to feel you look good and I suggest you go to a cosmetic counter that you like and have them work with you on makeup and find a wig that is amazing, fits and looks natural and you will little by little find your way back to happiness. It may not be the happiness you had when you had hair ,but a different kind of happiness. Michael J. Fox once said," Happiness come in proportion to acceptance."  I truly believe this. 

PS there are support group phone people that NAAF has set up in most every state, give one of them a call and hopefully that will be helpful. Let me know if you have any questions about wigs or makeup tips. We are all here for you on this website. Regards Lisa

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