Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by BaldGirlsDoLunch.org on December 26, 2008 at 11:36pm

Absolutely...the phases and transitions of a changed self-image give rise to all sorts of emotions and responses. It's totally normal. You can be sure we all have these kinds of experiences...nothing to worry about. Just do whatever feels right at the moment..there's no right nor wrong to how you go wind up going from phase to phase with this. And even when you decide to vary your look..remember that you have total control over it so if you try something out and don't like it, then just do something else.The people in your life will learn to go with the flow that you set for yourself.

Enjoy the changes....it can be empowering.

Happy Holidays,
Thea

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Permalink Reply by Eileen Simpson on December 28, 2008 at 1:16am

Hi Thea,
Thank you for your note, I am just beginning to understand all the phases to this AA thing. Seems like when I refer to it that way it makes it worse. I am so happy and lucky to have found this site. It's people like yourself that extend a hand of help and hope. I have been making scarves for myself and the other day I made a huge one beautiful silk like fabric with pinks and blues. I put it on today and it's hafe way down my back, I asked my family if they liked my long hair. LOL it was funny and a good laugh, so things are getting much better now I feel like I'm in control and not trying to hide the bald spots with what little hair I had left. I think I decided to shave it when I couldn't stand to see all the hair in the sink, tub, floor, etc. So when I still find a longer hair I get so mad, like it came to haunt me. Not really but it's weird.

Well Thea, thanks for reading and you have a wonderful new years eve, day.

Eileen

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Permalink Reply by Mary on December 27, 2008 at 4:41pm

Hi Eileen,

I shaved my head almost exactly one year ago (read my story on AW). I cried much less after shaving because I was in CONTROL and didn't have to obsess about the expansion of the bald areas every day, and pick up handfuls of hair off the bathroom floor every night. I actually got a wig a few weeks before I shaved, and I have tried for the past year to wear it. But, wigs just aren't for me. If they work for other women, I'm very happy for them.

I tried wearing a wig again this morning after not wearing one for a number of weeks - I just can't do it. So, I wear my Turkish scarves (see my YouTube video "Alternatives to Wearing a Wig"), and other caps, and whenever it's warm enough, I'm bald. I'm growing more and more comfortable being bald in public, and all my friends and family are used to the new me. I carry a scarf in my purse, and if I get chilly, it goes on. If I'm wearing a scarf and get warm, it comes off. Just as Thea says, you have the freedom to just do whatever feels right at the moment.

Speaking of Thea, meeting her last January at a Bald Girls Do Lunch event, gave me the courage and support that enabled me to take the step of shaving my head two weeks later. Thanks again, Thea.

And, for any of you in Southern California, please attend the Bald Girls Do Lunch events in San Diego on Jan. 3, and Irvine on Jan. 4! It makes all the difference in the world meeting other women with Alopecia Areata. I'll be there in San Diego.

Take care and let us know how you're doing,
Mary

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Permalink Reply by Eileen Simpson on December 28, 2008 at 1:10am

Hi Mary, funny thing about two nights ago I was looking up AA on utube and found you. I loved how you showed everyone how to tie the turkish scarves. I hope that you still feel liberated, I would guess you do. This must be women power, but I don't plan on burning my bra LOL. I do like the alternatives to wearing a wig for now they work for me. I had told my son about my problem a few months ago and that the next time he'd see me that I could be bald. So it wasn't a shock when I told him on christmas. He lives in Sacramento and said that when I come down in Feb that he and his girl would take me to a great wig shop near them. He was so excited to fix my problem. Bless his sweet heart he's a fixer and always has been. This will be hard not to cry so maybe I should do this alone, I don't know all the answers I wish I did for all of us.

Take care and have a wonderful New Year,

Eileen

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Permalink Reply by Eileen Simpson on December 28, 2008 at 1:02am

First of all thank you for your kindness. I understand how hard it must of been for you after a year. Wow but you did it and healed that's so wonderful. I think everything has it's own time and for each of us it's different. I am so afraid to go into a wig shop something I'm dreading to no end. Most people without AA find it so easy to just say Hay go find a wig that will fix everything, but somewhere under it all we all know it's a wig and not our own hair. Society puts women on a different level then men but I think it must also be hard on men. Right now I am enjoying just making some scarves for myself and a lot cheaper then shops or online. They seem to be the thing right now and hats frankly do a better job at not getting so many looks when out in public. A funny thing happened the other day when I was shopping, a young guy followed me around the store asking if I needed anything and was there anything he could do for me. So many people stare when they see a person with a scarf what's that about?
Well anyway I know when I get over this fear about wigs and begin to understand how and what to buy I will feel better.

Again thank you for everything (Hugs back to you) :)

Eileen

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Permalink Reply by Karen on December 28, 2008 at 1:58am

Hi I'm Karen and am feeling much like you. I just purchased my first hair piece. It's a partial that covers the top of my scalp, but my own hair shows in the front (I still have enough hair at the moment to do this, but who knows how long that will last). The salon I went to cut it, styled it and worked with me on how to put it on. I did great this weekend for a first timer:) Now the problem is I have washed it and for the life of me I can't make the front hair line look natural or blend with my hair. There's just a straight line that runs horizontally across my head!!!!! URGH! What I have found is every step of the way through alopecia is hard. Give it a try though. It's strange, there was a sense of relief that the hair loss was covered, but a sense of self-consciousness that others will be able to tell. Especially now that I have no idea how to style and blend the thing! :) Be patient with yourself. Take it at your own speed.

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Permalink Reply by Eileen Simpson on December 28, 2008 at 2:18am

Hi Karen I'm online now and just got your message. Seems these days I all I want to do is talk to people here that understand yes just how hard it really is. Yes it's gets better just like Celiac Disease does and did for me. Hugs and thank you for your words. About your wig can you take it back to your hair dresser or place you purchased the wig? I wish I could give you more adivce on that one. How long have you had this and does anyone in your family have it? I guess I find myself wondering if my sons or grandson will get either AA or CD from me. Time will tell I know but I'm a mom you know how it is.
I saw that on another discussion you went to the conference, how was that. Is there a cost is it one day or more, our CD conference is ususally three days long, I have not been able to go to one yet but will this coming June before I move to Sacramento to be with my son.

Well thanks for reading, Hugs
Take care and have a wonderful New Year,

Chin up as they say. :-)

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Permalink Reply by Karen on December 28, 2008 at 4:09pm

Hi Eileen. I am going to go back to the stylist and see if she can help me. Unfortunately, she is not in until Tuesday:( so until then, I will probably break another hairdryer, brush, etc. as I throw my tantrums in trying to learn how to style this! Noone else in my family has this which is good and bad. I am happy that they don't have to suffer from this, but it also makes it hard b/c they just can't understand how hard it is. But noone really can unless you go through it right? Their famous last line is "it's just hair, wigs look so good now noone would ever know". They just don't understand that it's not that easy. They mean well though. I attended the NAAF conference in Louisville,KY. There was a registration fee. You can get all the particulars on the next conference on their website www.naaf.org

Thanks for responding. Its a tough day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

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Permalink Reply by Linda on December 28, 2008 at 5:40pm

I lost most of my hair before I had to shave head. YES, it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It seemed so final concerning HAIR... But I have come to realize that hair is nothing compared to diseases I might have. Wigs are not pleasant, but livable. I lost eyelashes and eyebrows too. That was kinda the icing on the cake for me. I have a harder time with these. I had permanant makeup done on brows and they look great. But the eyeliner didn't do well. I can't do fake eyelashes. I don't have patience or something! Anyway. I only wear scarves at home. I wear wigs in public all the time. I'm looking into vacuum wigs now. Hope that is the right choice for me.

Linda

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Permalink Reply by Mary on December 28, 2008 at 5:55pm

I wasn't as happy with my eyeliner as with the brows...the liner turned out a little too heavy and black for my taste. But, it does look better than nothing and you really can't tell what it is until you get close. I tried applying eyeliner daily for a couple of months after I lost my lashes, and it just came off and was a hassle. I also tried false lashes, and can't manage to put them on.

I wish I didn't find wigs so hot - I could deal with the itching and binding around the edges (at least for a few hours), but when I get warm and my scalp starts to sweat, I just have to pull it off. The relief is immediate. I've had only short wigs, and tried both synthetic and human hair. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive to having my scalp covered.

Mary

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Permalink Reply by Eileen Simpson on December 29, 2008 at 2:56am

Mary I have seen a head cover called caps that is put on under the wig, do they work for you or others? Seems a good idea I don't know much at all LOL. Anyway could you soften up your liner with makup? There again I don't know much about all this yet. For me I like it best when I'm covered up but it's also winter time right now. I'm sure I'll feel much different when I move to Sacramento in June, I'ts going to be a lot hoter then I'm use too. Recently I ordered another two cotton spandex skull caps. I have a black nike one that the other gal who has AU at work gave me. She only wears wigs now, her's cots something like $2000. This one she can swim with and be in the rain etc. I guess what the bottom line is, is that we are all different and what works for some isn't right for others. Never can tell that's for sure. I know and am totally expecting myself to cry the first time a wig goes on my head, so I am that much further ahead.

Take care Mary.

Eileen

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Permalink Reply by Eileen Simpson on December 29, 2008 at 2:47am

I'm with you I don't think I could do the fake eyelashes either. It was easier for me to shave my head for the first time then to see all the hair everywhere. I still see some of my hair I thought I got it all. :( but someday it will be all gone and there won't be any sign of anywhere YES, maybe I won? Oh well I'm happy you like your new brows, the gal at work had done that also, it works for her just fine. So is your eyeliner a tatoo also? If so can you go back to your person and have them fix it for you?
I have read some about vacuum wigs and they say their the best, but that depends on who you talk to I think. It's to bad we can't just a trail period on them to see which one would work for us.
Hugs and take care

Eileen

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