Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by sks on September 4, 2012 at 3:34pm

Welcome! So sorry you're having a hard time. I am glad you found this place. There are a lot of helpful, supportive people here. Talking about it and surrounding myself with supportive people was very helpful. For me, the worst part was slowing watching my hair thin and bald. Once I decided to just shave it off and embrace my baldness, it did get better for me. It's not to say I don't have my bad days. Everyone's journey is different but know you're among friends :)

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Permalink Reply by bouliebabs on September 4, 2012 at 6:08pm

thank you so much for your good words SKS. It's really appreciated and it feels good to know that i am not alone having a hard time sometimes. :)

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Permalink Reply by Maryanne on September 5, 2012 at 10:59pm

Hi,

You've taken a good first step here asking for support. You're the same age I was when I started losing my hair. I remember those horrible days: the denial, the bargaining, the asking, "Why?" Now it's better. It does get better, really. Good friends help, good therapists help, They carry us through the rough patches until we can be strong ourselves. I remember thinking I couldn't ever feel OK with Alopecia. How could I? Why would I? Now, my sense of humor is returning and just today at lunch with 2 co-workers who know I have AU I was able to talk with them about their hair, their hair cuts, and their going gray and dyeing their hair or not. It felt so normal. But for me it took time. We're here for you. :)

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Permalink Reply by Alliegator on September 6, 2012 at 10:56am

Hi,
I am 29 as well, and I have AGA. I have been in your shoes! I remember the days when it would make me sick to my stomach to see all of the hair in the tub, in the brush, and on the floor. I hated cleaning my bathroom.

Yes! One day, you will be okay with it. You just have to find what works for you. It may take time, but it will happen. You are not alone! Keep coming back here. It helped me a lot. You might join heralopecia.com as well. If you can, find someone in your life, a family member or good friend, who you feel you can talk to about it. It helps to have a supportive person around who will listen. You took a big step by joining this site, and telling your story. You are courageous! Just take baby steps, each one helps.

I shave my head now. That was a huge step for me, and it has helped more than I could imagine. It sort of feels like I am taking control of the hair loss each time I shave my head. And the best part, is NO hair to clean up or to see around the house. I buzzed my hair first, and then started shaving. Both really helped me to feel better. I like to go bald, wear wigs and also wear hats/scarves. Wigs can be a LOT of fun. There are so many options out there, and a lot of them are affordable. I wear synthetic wigs, and I usually pay around $100 for each one. We call it the "plop & go" method.

We are here for you! There is light at the end of the tunnel.
http://lifeasabaldgirl.wordpress.com/

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Permalink Reply by Christine on September 6, 2012 at 2:37pm

Hi! So glad that you posted here, I'm sorry that you are feeling so down right now, but yes it will get better, that's not to say you will not have days that you feel down, or just mad at all this, I can have bad spells too, I will be sitting in church and look at all the hair covered heads around and in front of me, and think "everyone has hair" except for a few men..lol And during those times I feel the "why is this happening to me" feeling, and can really beat myself up, but it does pass, with time I do believe things will get better, I've had this for 10 yrs, and I know exactly what you mean about washing your hair, I would wash it and then condition, after putting on the conditioner I'd pull all the lose ones out, and have a little pile on the side of the tub, looking at that and all the hairs that would come out all day everyday it was active, then I'd have a few good months when it was not falling and I would feel almost normal......except I never knew when it would start up again?? I was blessed to have the time (ten years) of it slowly leaving with more each time and less coming back normal, with just white sparse hairs taking their place. Last week I got a really good wig human hair with silicone all around that holds it in place very secure without any tape or glue, I shaved my head :O I feel so much better about that, still working on getting use to having hair that's frankly not my hair, but I hope that with time it will get better too. I had bought a hair piece like you several years ago, that was nice but I felt like I was wearing a wig, and thought it looked "wiggy" I could not wear it in public either, I do still feel weird every time someone sees it for the first time,(my new one) I can't wait for that to go away!! I do not expect to feel great everyday, and you should allow yourself that too. This is not an easy road, but we are so blessed to have each other. In the end you have to decide what is best for you, is it working with the hair you still have? for me it seemed to be for years, but I always had the unknown hanging over me. Do others notice, or are you still able to hide it? When I knew I could not anymore, and felt so self conscious I knew I had to make a change. No One can tell you what to do with it, it has to be within yourself, but there are many options open to you which is great, Remember that you are beautiful, no matter what your hair is doing, or not doing. I also found that telling people helped me, there are plus and minus for telling, but for me I felt like it interfered with my life near the end so much, they needed to know why, I couldn't go for that walk on a windy day, or why I couldn't go in the pool, or try on clothes at a store because it would mess up my hair too much, and then you could see. Alopecia is life altering, but we can choose to make the choices that make us feel better about it and ourselves. Hang in there. We are all here for you. ((HUG))

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Permalink Reply by bouliebabs on September 6, 2012 at 8:57pm

i really want to thank you all for your supportives messages. ITs really much appreciated!! It feels good that i can talk with you guys beacause here in my ''normal'' life, i feel like a cant talk about it...I wouldnt know where to start!!!

I'm going on vacation this week_end and i just hope everything will go well and that i wont loose too much hair when i'll be there... I had a couple of getaways that turn out like a nightmare....boy!!! showering and eveeything...ill be with friends in the same room and the washing-styling hair nightmare will be something with 2 others peoples around. Obviously i wont be abble to be in the dark and everything...

I just got ou of the hairdresser tonight and got my hair cut very short. I am still able to hide it a little but of course it shows...

boy anyhow...and the hair sag continues...ill keep you guys posted on my trip. thanks for being there :)

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Permalink Reply by Deejay on September 14, 2012 at 4:23am

One thing about alopecia that sucks the life out of you is hiding. It creates stress, anxiety and more stress and anxiety! I spent the better part of my adult life hiding my alopecia every which way i could. Lets just say, you've come to the right place. I didn't have the courage to face it head on till an ex partner demanded to see my hair because all the secrets and hiding was driving a wedge in our relationship. Well.. i became single 24hrs after shaving my head but i embraced myself. I'm not saying a shaved head is the way for everyone, you can only do what you can, when you can. But for me, that's what liberated me and gave me back my life. It said, i'm bald. This is me. Take it or leave it. Not everyone took it. But i'm happy. I still have my moments when i'm desperate for hair. I still have dreams where i have hair and i don't want to wake up. But this is our reality. For now. I suggest you take control as soon as you can. Whether it's a wig, or a shave while you explore treatments if you like, but please don't let hairloss/alopecia become who you are. Life is too short. I know this is all easier said than done, but we've all been there. Heck we're still there! I hope you feel better. You are not alone.

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