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Permalink Reply by Tom on February 20, 2017 at 9:27pm

I'm sure that you and your boyfriend have a certain circle of friends . Start by having him talk to these people and explain Alopecia . He can explain how hard it is for you. Then start by getting together with just a few. Gradually you will be able to be around larger crowds. You will find that these people will understand and accept you for who you really are. They will actually stand up for you If someone outside of these friends says anything that could hurt your feelings. Give your friends a chance you will be pleasantly surprised.

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Permalink Reply by Jo on February 21, 2017 at 11:08am

I got myself a good wig from a local wig store that looks like my hair, They will help you learn how to wear your wig with confidence. And you don't have to tell if you don't want to. If you do tell people you have alopecia and you are wearing a wig, people are usually interested and not critical as they wonder if they could handle loosing their hair as well as you have It's not a flaw in your personality. You are still the same person. I have been wearing wigs for 7 years as I have alopecia Universalis Yes I was freaked out but then I realized I couldn't help it and I am still me. Get a good wig at a local wig store. Be around others that have also lost their hair, which you will find in a wig store. Its very enlightening.

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Permalink Reply by Terri on February 23, 2017 at 2:11pm

Dear Dayna,

Go to this website and you'll see that 40% of hair loss sufferers are women!

http://www.americanhairloss.org/women_hair_loss/introduction.asp

Mistakenly thought to be a strictly male disease, women actually make up forty percent of American hair loss sufferers. Hair loss in women can be absolutely devastating for the sufferer's self image and emotional well being.

Unfortunately, society has forced women to suffer in silence. It is considered far more acceptable for men to go through the same hair loss process. Even more unfortunately, the medical community also treats the issue of women's hair loss as if it were nonexistent. Since hair loss doesn't appear to be life threatening, most physicians pay little attention to women's complaints about hair loss and essentially tell their patients that "it's no big deal", and that "you'll just have to live with it."

Of course what these physicians don't seem to realize is that the psychological damage caused by hair loss and feeling unattractive can be just as devastating as any serious disease, and in fact, can take an emotional toll that directly affects physical health.

The American Hair Loss Association recognizes that hair loss is women is a serious life altering condition that can no longer be ignored by the medical community and society as a whole.

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Permalink Reply by Jo on February 24, 2017 at 6:50pm

I agree with you,,  My doctor doesn't seem concerned at all that I have no hair at all, no eyebows, eyelashes, nose hair or hair on my head.  I was devastated.  Insurance didn't want to pay for a cranial prosthesis like they do for cancer treatments.  As a mater of fact if my doctor puts down on my report for my visit about my hair loss, the insurance won't pay for my visit even if i'm there for another reason but also talk about my hair loss.  Now we just talk about it and he doesn't write it in my report.  I still don't have any answers.   I don't know what they answer is for women like us, but I understand your feelings, but I am resigned to wearing a wig now.  It's part of me.

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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on February 25, 2017 at 1:42pm

Do not let even a week go by without doing and enjoying everything your peers are doing at this age. Cover the head and go get the life, laughs, learning and memories you deserve.

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Permalink Reply by OneBaldMother on February 27, 2017 at 9:30pm

Hi Dayna,

I also struggle with social anxiety and my alopecia has certainly magnified that struggle.  It feels better for me to control when and how people find out so I just tell them.  It is unlikely that people will comment or even notice your hair loss (depending on how severe it is or if/ how you choose to cover it).  Of course there is still the possibility they will, so in the long run it puts me more at ease for things to be in the open.   In my experience, the way I imagine the conversation going is typically worse than how it really plays out.  Most people are kind and understanding and actually don't even care much about your hair. It still feels very uncomfortable to me to talk about it, but the discomfort is fleeting then soon over.  As far as advice for what to say, I usually rehearse a few sentences in my head.  Just keep it brief and to the point.  I'd start with telling your friends first to test the waters. I think alopecia looses a lot of negative power when it is no longer a secret.  I agree with Tom and think you could ask your boyfriend to tell his roommates/friends about your alopecia.  

I also highly recommend reading the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. It has really helped me deal with thoughts like "what if people think I am weird/ ugly?"

Becky

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Permalink Reply by Demixl on October 29, 2020 at 5:18pm

I think that mental illness is worse than physical illness. Of course, any illness is horrible and I would like nobody to be ill, but the trust is that people do not pay enough attention to their mental illness, and they see the problem only when it is too late. I had depression, and I know what I am talking about. I was afraid to interact with other people and I thought that was the end, but thankfully I found a site where there is organized virtual group therapy. They helped me to recover and to start living again. I want nobody on the earth to be ill.

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Permalink Reply by sampeckard on April 29, 2022 at 4:42am

Talk to a specialist! Perhaps the most trivial and the most effective option will help you achieve the best results. Working with a competent psychotherapist will help you work through all the anxiety situations that you can get into, understand what caused the fear, and learn to build a trusting relationship with a person who will not judge you under no circumstances. A specialist can also prescribe medication to help reduce your overall anxiety level until you learn to cope independently. You can read about the peculiarities of this disease from specialists https://fherehab.com/anxiety/treatment/. The main thing is to start treatment quickly!

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