'Sympathy' shave?

I have been shaving my head for so many years that I no longer remember what it was like to let my hair grow. Today, however, I told my alopecic and adorable fiancee, Cheryl Carvery, that I might allow my hair grow back. Strange thing is a few minutes ago I started feeling like I should continue shaving my head because Cheryl has alopecia. It's the weirdest feeling and it got me to thinking: How do people living with alopecia feel about their partners shaving their head for sympathetic reasons? Whether or not you have alopecia, I'd love to hear from you on this one.

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Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on January 9, 2009 at 5:44am
Oh yeah, Sandy, I started shaving my head more than 20 years before meeting Cheryl because I dreaded trying to do anything with the hair that was on my head. (See my reply to Tracey.) LOL
Permalink Reply by Tracey L. on January 8, 2009 at 8:41am
Hi rj, I definitely would not want my husband to shave his head out of sympathy for me. He has a great head of hair and I would be upset if he shaved it off! Sympathy is not what I want from him. His love and support for me is the best thing he can do.
Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on January 9, 2009 at 5:27am
Well, Tracey, one thing I've never had is great head of hair! LOL I remember Mama trying to comb it back in the day: I think she placed my head in a pair of vice grips and used a weed whacker to style it! In fact, if I let it grow back, Cheryl will probably change her mind and say that showing her love and support AND KEEPING MY HEAD A BARE AS A BABY'S BEHIND are the best things I can do for her! LOL
Permalink Reply by Nicole on January 8, 2009 at 10:16am
Hey Rj,

My fiance shaved his head for me to show me that he loves me regardless of my hairless condition. At first I thought he was making fun of me by making a statement "That we can be bald together", but I soon realized that maybe it was me feeling bad for myself which blinded me in the heartfelt comment he made.
Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on January 9, 2009 at 5:29am
Of course, Nicole, great men think alike. ;-) It's good that you gave the matter second thought. :-)
Permalink Reply by Pat on January 8, 2009 at 10:46am
Hi guys,

I appreciate the thought but I don't think I would like it...for me that's bringing more light to my Alopecia which I don't want to place the emphasis on. I understand what they are trying to do but for me there is still a difference between cutting your hair voluntarily and loosing it involuntarily.......Just my thoughts.
Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on January 9, 2009 at 5:32am
Pat, I don't have alopecia, but I definitely understand and appreciate where you're coming from. However, I've got a little emotional room to maneuver on this one because Cheryl has dedicated much, if not most, of her life to "bringing more light" to alopecia. :-)
Permalink Reply by Mary on January 8, 2009 at 10:59am
When I first shaved my head, then rapidly went AU last year, my husband offered to shave his head. I thought it was really sweet, but I didn't want him to do it.
Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on January 9, 2009 at 5:32am
Sweet men think alike, too. ;-)
Permalink Reply by willow on January 8, 2009 at 12:08pm
I am very honoured by my husband shaving his head. I always felt alone, and singled out, by the world. The staring is extremely stressful. My friends encouraged me to take my wig off, as while visiting, I often looked uncomfortable, and flushed from the heat of the wigs. My family never appeared to support me, as if someone came to the door, they helped me find, and quickly put my wig on. This lead my life to run for cover. When I first met my husband, I was already in the transition of "au naturel" as the wigs became a health issue. With him shaving his, I feel more normal, and actually forget that I no longer have a wig. Some people still stare, however, often I'm given the "wow, you look so good that way", but I think what keeps me going, is his support and understanding. Maybe even a little, "my husband will hurt you bad" if you are rude to me, confidence of protection. Something I needed to stay "au naturel"
Blessings ---<-@
Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on January 9, 2009 at 5:40am
As you very well know, Willow, it's so good to love and be loved by someone willing to walk with you in your struggles and not just talk to you about them. I know from some of your husband's other posts that he truly loves and adores you and would give his limbs and very life to try protect you from the flaming arrows of malicious intent. I certainly wish the two of you a lovetime of romantic bliss, wisdom, peace and prosperity. :-)
Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on January 9, 2009 at 5:54am
Thanks, Santi, for the wisdom and encouragement. You're certainly correct that Cheryl and I will remain co-pilots regardless of hairstyle either of us chooses. :-)

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