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Tired of everyone telling me it will all grow back
Ok, so I feel a bit rotten saying this, but I'm tired of people telling me "So and so had alopecia and their hair all grew back and never came back again." I know people mean well, but we all know that it doesn't always work out that way.
I've been dealing with this and trying to accept it for the last 2 months. I also had eczema all my life and know that it is a condition that goes in and out of remission. I fully expect the same with the alopecia and I'm fairly sure I will be really shocked and devastated each time it happens. Even if it does grow back, I bet I will never stop checking for spots.
The other thing is wig shopping. Am I really selfish for not wanting anyone to come with me? I just feel like I will be pressured to be ok with it when in fact I know that it will be emotional. I don't want people to tell me not to have feelings about this stupid condition.
I haven't actually said anything to anyone, and I know they are just trying to be supportive. Most days I am ok, but sometimes I just feel angry.
I think my reaction has more to do with being angry about this stupid condition.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dianna 845 on
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Hmm. Can I relate to that. I was told " its not like you lost an arm or something" I find those comments to be insensitive. No I didn't, I lost my hair! Yes I'm angry about it. I really dont like wigs. However I'm not going without. I'm more sad and ashamed.
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Permalink Reply by Harsh Kumar on
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Aloe vera contains enzymes that directly promote healthy hair growth. Also, its alkalizing properties can help bring the scalp and hair’s pH to a more desirable level, which can greatly promote hair growth.
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I feel the same way. I even hurt myself.
I just can't overcome this and cry every night because of it.
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Permalink Reply by Solange De Santis on
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Dear Struggling,
It hurts my heart to read that you are hurting yourself. I hope you see a therapist, please. I am no professional, but I know I internalize the attitudes of society: I regard bald women as ugly, therefore I am ugly. It's just not true, and in my more confident moments I know that this condition has happened to the real me, but it is not completely the real me. Your beauty and radiance can shine.
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Hi,thank you for your words. It really helped. Maybe the society is cruel and that's why it is just so hard to overcome this.
Wishing for a permanent cure for all of us! :)
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JAK inhibitors are ridiculously expensive, and even if you have RA which is FDA on-label, they're not even fully covered (about $1k out of $3k per month). I wish that they'd require all insurers cover it when it's FDA approved, but it's not the case.
;) But I think that there are some interesting ideas out there - how many of AA or AU or AT patients have cancer? I'm guessing it's very low - because our overactive autoimmune systems squelch all cancer cell development.
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Please don't hurt yourself Struggling_hard! I have done this in the past, and believe me, I understand how that rush of physical pain takes away that emotional one for a little while (I had some cutting episodes about 10 years ago during another medical crisis, not alopecia).
You are worthy of love EVEN without hair! I recommend two things 1) a therapist. and/or if you can't afford a therapist 2) a dog. Believe me, my dog thinks I am the BEST PERSON ON THE PLANET. He is so excited to greet me when I let him out of his kennel in the morning. When I leave him for a meeting and come back, he's so excited to geet me. He doesn't care that I have hair or none. My therapist recommended I walk my dog three times a day (walking helps symptoms of depression). If you can run with your dog - mine's still a puppy yet so we can't run far - even better. You'll feel better, too!
I am having moderate success with using methotrexate 15mg once a week. It's affordable, and I am regrowing hair, although I do have patchy spots that may require the injections. I have universalis, so I don't have hair on most of the rest of my body (an occasional patch here and there.) I wear a wig every day. I'm also trying the herbal recommendations, including the essential oil blend studied with some efficacy, aloe vera gel, drinking tumeric "tea" and using women's Rogaine.
But the dog, he doesn't care about any of this and looks at me with the deepest of love ;) He is just happy if we throw the ball and go running or hiking. He doesn't care if I wear a head scarf or a Buff or my wig. He loves me just how I am. That's pretty powerful.
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Ditto everything you said for my dog Bentley. Struggling, even if you can't have a dog, I hope you have or cultivate friends who love you just the way you are. Because the real you is beautiful and worthwhile.
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Hi,AnnS. Thank you for those words.
Yes,I do have a dog. 3 dogs,actually. And I know their love is unconditional. As I came to a different place for my studies so I don't get enough time to spend with them.
And I have good friends but they don't know about my condition. What made me hurt myself right from the beginning is the way people used to laugh at me for being bald. I just feel like giving up,you know. Yet many things keep me going. I will soon see a therapist after my exams for Medical Science(MBBS for undergraduates). This is the only way to cure myself and to cure the people who is suffering like me,I guess.
Thank you,again. :)
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Oh my, I've had it all. From a kid staring at me, then yelling "You're bald!" to a woman coming up to me in a restaurant and asking, "Do you have a wig?"
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I have this disorder since I was 8 years old. My whole school used to laugh at me without caring how I must have felt. I still remember every face who made fun of me.
Even those grown-up teachers did the same.
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