Treated me like a dog with mange!

I just flew out to see my favorite sister - the one closest in age to me, and I am SOOOO sad and disappointed.  She treated me like I was dirty, or diseased and contagious.  I explained all about alopecia before I went, but she still wouldn't hug me, wouldn't borrow my sweater, wouldn't even touch me!  Anyone else experience this reaction?  And what did you do about it?

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Permalink Reply by Zimrie on December 20, 2015 at 4:17pm

When I go to work, they sometimes ask me questions and I tell them the truth about my disease.  

Some people have been supportive and understanding.  Then there is the other half of the population who like to whisper and talk behind my back.   It infuriates me because I don't take offense when someone offers their help concerning my make-up ( which I won't go without) or the position of my hair piece since it sometimes gets crooked.    I don't get offended when someone walks up and repositions my wig.    I don't take offense if someone asks me questions.   

My sisters have not said very much about my hair loss.   I don't think you can change people when they take an attitude.  

Permalink Reply by Still Me on December 20, 2015 at 8:35pm

Yes, the work place gets interesting, doesn't it?!  Thanks for your reply.

Permalink Reply by Cindie on January 16, 2016 at 7:26am

I would be highly offended if someone was bothering my hairpiece or wig. 

Permalink Reply by swifteddie on December 20, 2015 at 4:59pm
Some people are beautiful inside some out, but we have both!
Permalink Reply by Sheila Pinder on December 20, 2015 at 5:07pm

This is very unfortunate. Your sister should take the time to research. If she did, she would see that this is hereditary on the mother’s side. She could have the same condition (or worse) several years from now. You cannot change the behavior of your sister. You can send her (if you choose) information on the type of alopecia that you have. Many people have siblings that treat them that way for no reason. Envy, jealousy, and some people are just plain mean. Very sorry this happened to you! Do what you need to do to lift yourself up! Walk tall and with confidence.  

Permalink Reply by Still Me on December 20, 2015 at 8:37pm

There is so much wisdom in what you say.  Thanks so much!

Permalink Reply by bean701 on December 20, 2015 at 9:37pm

I'm so very sorry...

It is her issue though, not yours.  

Not having acceptance of those you love has to be hard.  Sucks.  I'm sorry...

Permalink Reply by Queenlena on December 21, 2015 at 6:59am

I am sorry you had to experience this with your sister. I haven't experienced this reaction from my Alopecia but my sister has looked down on me and treated me different. I was hurt and confused as to why she treated me different. For a while, I stayed away from her. My husband, kids and I had moved one time and I didn't say bye to her. I have to tell you that I felt bad. It's weird how people can hurt us, and when we react, we feel bad because it's not who we are normally. Although me and her are 19 years apart, I was the bigger sister and reached out to her. It took time though. I prayed many nights, for myself mainly. Today, I try to only worry about the things that I can change.

Permalink Reply by Janet on December 21, 2015 at 9:17am
My granddaughter told me on Saturday not to touch her. My husband won't even hug me anymore. Everyone hate bald women. My heart is broken. I lost all my friends and family.
Permalink Reply by bean701 on December 21, 2015 at 9:27am

so very sorry...

Permalink Reply by Zimrie on December 21, 2015 at 11:24am

I don't understand this because some of my family members accepted me anyway after I lost my hair and some of my friends tried to help me in their own way.  I'm still invited out by them.  

In my workplace someone offered feedback about which head covers looked the best.   I've had people ask me a lot of questions to educate themselves and I like this a lot more than all the backbiting that happens.     When I first started losing my hair, some of my relatives reacted with concern.   

In my own case though, I never leave the house without my head covered in the same way that I would not go without the rest of my clothes.   

The other thing I try to do is keep my makeup on and especially my eye brows.    

What people do in their subconscious is to try to figure out your mood and your attitude by your eyebrows.    If you don't have any, it can be threatening to them or annoying, so I draw them before I go into the store or any other place.    

Permalink Reply by Cher0 on December 21, 2015 at 12:50pm

I'm sorry that happened to you. Especially from someone who is so close to you. That happened a lot to me in the beginning. It also taught me who my real friends were though. As for your sister, just give her a little time. Like someone already said, tell her how she made you feel and educate her about it. I'm sure she'll come around eventually.  

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