Alopecia World
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Very Sad
Good morning,
My son was diagnosed with Alopecia a couple of months ago - he is 13 and in grade 8. When he was 7 I noticed a couple of small bald patches on the back of his head; my mom seemed really concerned about it but they were so small I just figured the hair would grow back...and it did. I think I was in denial about the possibility of him being sick or having some sort of condition that I tried my best to ignore it.
Fast forward 6 years later to May 2009. I noticed the two bald patches were back, they were bigger, plus there was 1 more. I finally convinced myself that I needed to take him to the doctor to find out what the problem was. He told us it was Alopecia. I had no clue what that was so I went home and looked it up right away. I told my son what was going on and, following the advice of our doctor, told him the spots would likely take 6 months to 2 years to grow back - with the possibility of the hair coming in a different colour.
June 2009 - Logan lost his eyebrows and most of his eyelashes
July 2009 - Logan started losing hair at his hairline on his forehead, we noticed 4 more patches
August 2009 - Started losing more and more hair on the back of his head
September 1, 2009 - I was sitting with Logan when he began running his hands through his hair and it just kept coming out. He finally realized how much hair he was losing and he started to cry. I didn't cry then, because I feel I need to stay strong for him, but after he went to bed the river flowed and I haven't been able to stop thinking, or crying, about this since.
I just want it to stop. I don't know what kind of Alopecia he has but I just want him to be normal. I'm so sorry if I've offended anyone but I'm just taking this so hard right now. No one I know has even heard of this before. I guess I want to know if his hair is going to grow back. I try to think about the positive things in that he's not actually sick, but as a mother, I'm completely devastated right now. I don't feel I'm dealing as well with this as Logan is - I admire him for being so strong.
My son was diagnosed with Alopecia a couple of months ago - he is 13 and in grade 8. When he was 7 I noticed a couple of small bald patches on the back of his head; my mom seemed really concerned about it but they were so small I just figured the hair would grow back...and it did. I think I was in denial about the possibility of him being sick or having some sort of condition that I tried my best to ignore it.
Fast forward 6 years later to May 2009. I noticed the two bald patches were back, they were bigger, plus there was 1 more. I finally convinced myself that I needed to take him to the doctor to find out what the problem was. He told us it was Alopecia. I had no clue what that was so I went home and looked it up right away. I told my son what was going on and, following the advice of our doctor, told him the spots would likely take 6 months to 2 years to grow back - with the possibility of the hair coming in a different colour.
June 2009 - Logan lost his eyebrows and most of his eyelashes
July 2009 - Logan started losing hair at his hairline on his forehead, we noticed 4 more patches
August 2009 - Started losing more and more hair on the back of his head
September 1, 2009 - I was sitting with Logan when he began running his hands through his hair and it just kept coming out. He finally realized how much hair he was losing and he started to cry. I didn't cry then, because I feel I need to stay strong for him, but after he went to bed the river flowed and I haven't been able to stop thinking, or crying, about this since.
I just want it to stop. I don't know what kind of Alopecia he has but I just want him to be normal. I'm so sorry if I've offended anyone but I'm just taking this so hard right now. No one I know has even heard of this before. I guess I want to know if his hair is going to grow back. I try to think about the positive things in that he's not actually sick, but as a mother, I'm completely devastated right now. I don't feel I'm dealing as well with this as Logan is - I admire him for being so strong.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by JeffreySF on
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Hi Melanie,
Try and find a support group near you. Also talk with other parents on Alopecia World.
Wishing you and Logan the best.
Jeffrey
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Permalink Reply by Robert on
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Hi Melanie
I admire Logan too for being so strong.
All you can do is love and support him and you'll get through it.
Keeping everything crossed here that it's only a temporary condition for Logan.
Take care
Robert
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Hi Alison,
I tried the headblade and hated it.
I find using an electric beard shaver works best with my noggin. No fuss, no muss and best of all no cuts.
Jeffrey
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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The moment I felt better was the moment I finally met other alopecia people in California. Don't wait 20 years to find someone with the same isues and fears and questions as your son like I did. Contact www.naaf.org now and find a support group in your area or families with kids having alopecia in his age group. Get together with the families for pizza at homes. Let the kids talk (bond, become friends or penpals) after they have heard a few acceptable facts from informed adults.
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Permalink Reply by Karen on
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Hi Melanie, I cried, my daughter cried...we all cry. It's scary and complicated. I hope you keep coming here! There are so many people just like you, Logan and me too. This is one great place to connect and learn, but Tallgirl is absolutely right. Logan will need friends with alopecia his age that he can bond with and become friends with. Kids need kids. She gave you great advice.. Logan is beautiful! He's got sparkly eyes and a beautiful smile! Surround yourself with good people right now.
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Permalink Reply by Heather on
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Hi Melanie..
I'm Heather, and I'm 15, though I was diagnosed when I was 11. I'm sure my experience is different from your son's because I'm a girl, but I do know that Alopecia isn't the end of the world, and the two of you will get through this. What my mom did that helped me when I was younger is that she put a positive twist on things.. She's connect something painful, with something happy. For example, for every injection I got, she'd get me a peanut butter cup because they're my favourite... Or everytime we went to the Dermatologist, we'd get Starbucks. Those things didn't make it go away, but atleast when I went to do those unhappy things, I had happy things to look forward to. I know it's hard, but you will learn to accept it, as will your son, and you never know, his hair may come back! As for you, maybe you should talk to other parents whose kids have Alopecia, because I don't really know the things you go through as a parent, being 15.
Hope this helps!
Heather
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Permalink Reply by Joshua on
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Hello Melanie,
Welcome to Alopecia World. I'm sorry that this has come in the expense of another person being diagnosed with Alopecia Areata. I see that you already have wonderful replies from members including those who are parents to children with alopecia and teens with alopecia.
I'm a sensitive and sentimental person, so I believe if crying makes you feel better, then never hold it back. Remember you dont have to deal with this alone neither Logan, no one is alone in the alopecia journey.
Communicating with other teens around his age with alopecia would be great and even meeting them would even be better. Every journey begins with the first step which is to love your kid as he is and let him know that he's not alone and I believe that you've already done the first step! It's a long and tough journey but it will not always be that way. Take care and do keep us updated. I'm thankful that you'll be able to talk to people who can relate more to you than I do. God bless
jt
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Permalink Reply by Supermom on
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No one feels offended that you don't want this for your son. Everyone wants their child to feel normal and secure.Thirteen is the most difficult age to get something like this.
I have no hair on my body, but I'm OK. My son is thirteen so I can relate.
I hope God gives you both strength and I hope Logan doesn't have too hard a time.
All the best.
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Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on
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I always consider alopecia as the "in the meantime" condition. We do not know if or when our hair is going to grow back, so we have to deal with the "meantime". For any parent dealing with a child with alopecia, they should also take this time to find ways to help them deal with their self-esteem. Ways that work whether they grow their hair back or not. Thus, preparing them not only for the worse case scenario but also, also for many other things that are going to hit them in life.
Someone already mentioned NAAF, but there is also the Children’s Alopecia Project, that deal specifically with children. You may want to get in touch with them and see what they have to offer as well as join the Parents of Children with Alopecia group. I have worked with kids (girls) who have alopecia at past NAAF conference and have watched them grow; many of them are now in their 20's, some of them are on this site, I can think of three off hand: Kelci, Becky and Alex. Their self-confidence in intact, they are leading "normal" lives and enjoying their uniqueness. Some were outgoing when I met them, others were more introverted, either way they found their way. I know this is hard and the only solution we see is to grow our hair back. Nevertheless, if it turns out that that is not a choice, we have to be able to see all our other choices, take a detour and still end up where we were going. Reaching out is the beginning, keep talking to other parents and glean from them. You CAN do this.
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Permalink Reply by Melissa Francis on
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Hi Melanie,
Please take comfort in the thought that, as you said, we are not actually sick. Also, neither are we normal. And thank god for that - I want so much more than just a normal life :)
Logan will be resiliant and life will go on. And he will achieve (with the right attitude and encouragement) anything he sets his mind to. There is such an amazing experience to be had and learnt through the realisation that (while it would be very nice to look like a supermodel) we don't need aesthetic things like HAIR or fingernails, or perfect teeth, etc, to find love and happiness!
Personally, I am really touched that you feel all of that empathy with your son. It is quite scary to lose control of something like your hair, or your appearance, or your health, and as a police officer, I come across parents every day that don't give a stuff about their kids, which really gets me down sometimes. I think it's beautiful that you can be so articulate in these feelings and that you can openly and bravely share with ppl about how you are disappointed and upset because you only want the best for Logan. It sounds like, with such a concerned mother, that he has the best already!
Be encouraged, and keep encouraging him! Something that helped me be LESS disappointed about losing my hair was continually exposing myself to the images of ppl I admire that have lost their hair, or chose to be shaved. It helped the idea be less 'abnormal' for me, which I think is really important and is something that society as a whole needs to break down as a barrier - this idea of normal is actually potentially dangerous, especially for young ppl.
I am starting to feel as though (even though I don't feel unattractive anyway) the idea of a shaved head could be quite cool, and that small spark of confidence has transferred to the ppl around me like my husband and friends. They see I no longer have a HUGE issue with it, and so they realise that it really isn't that big a deal.
I know that when you are upset these bits of advice are infuriating. I hated ppl telling me I needed to get on with it, stop stressing, etc. In no way am I trying to invalidate what you feel about your son. But be encouraged - there is a beautiful and fun light and life at the end of that scary tunnel you are in right now :)
light and love
liss
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