Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
Why did you decide to go without a wig?
I myself could not fathom wanting to ever be without my hair, but that is just me. I really am genuinely interested in why those of you that do not choose to wear hair came to that decision. Comfort? Like the look better? Wigs are just too difficult to deal with?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by MOMofa6yo_AT on
-
My son thinks he looks better without a hat :)
-
Permalink Reply by Mary on
-
Hi LilyBell - as I've posted before, but am happy to recount, I just COULDN'T wear wigs. I tried 6 different ones for about 9 months. I wish I could wear them. My head and whole body just get WAY too hot when I have my scalp covered.
I had three big moments during that 9 months, all of them public events. First, about 3 months after losing my hair, I was at a musical show in San Francisco during a heat wave in an un-airconditioned theater. After 15 minutes sitting there with sweat running down my face, everyone fanning themselves, waiting for the show to start, I tore the wig off my head, threw it on the floor, shouted "F***!", and started sobbing. Next, in the summer at an outdoor wedding I kept the wig on in terrible heat and while dancing hard, finally taking it off when it was soaking wet and I was miserable. Then at an outdoor graduation ceremony...again ended up crying.
On other occasions, I might be comfortable for awhile, then get warm, but feel stupid about taking off my "hair" and sitting in a restaurant with it in my lap like a dead animal. I've found that going from a scarf to bald to back to the scarf in public is much less "shocking" than going from hair to no hair, if you know what I mean.
It's also been psychologically better for me. When I would see myself in a wig, I'd get all depressed again because I look so nice with hair, etc....and feel the LOSS of my hair all over again and start with the crying. I found, over time, that NOT ever seeing myself in hair was better.
In the end, it came down to a choice between being PHYSICALLY miserable in a wig, or EMOTIONALLY uncomfortable being seen bald. I realized that I can't do anything about my physical problem with wearing a wig...it is what it is and I'm too hot. But, I could do something about the emotional/mental component.
Don't know if this helps, and it's just the path that worked for me and might not be for everyone. All I know is it has worked. This video is as good an illustration as any for why I go without a wig...I was sweating and dancing hard for an hour in the summer, and can't imagine doing it any other way: http://www.alopeciaworld.com/video/twisting-in-balboa-park
-
-
I'd also like to ask the reverse question of those of you who do wear wigs - how do you deal with the warmth, or do you just not find them hot? What about when you're physically active or in a warm room or outdoors on a hot day? Maybe it's just me. ( ;-)
-
Permalink Reply by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on
-
For me the process was, well, hard. The first wig I bought was expense and ill fitting. It was very hard to wear - it hurt my head but I was determined to wear it. I should back up - I was able to wear just toppers for awhile and that was a piece of cake. No issue whatsoever. Then I tried synthetics - which for me were a nightmare. They were hot and itchy and I thought I would never be comfortable again. Then after much expense and experimentation I decided to have a custom hand tied monofilament top human hair wig made. Since I like my hair bone straight I knew I needed this type of wig to achieve the look I desired. When it was first slipped on my head it was so light. A perfect fit. It was not hot and while it does occasionally itch - it really does feel OK. I cannot say good - nothing will ever be as good as my own hair. But it does look really good and I have the face shape that benefits from hair. It is warmer of course in hot weather and since I am ALWAYS hot - long before wig wearing I put it in a pony tail and can deal with it. That being said, my physical activity is pretty limited due to various other health issues so I cannot relate to strenuous activity while wearing a wig. I exercise the best I can in my own home - sometimes I have the wig on -but if it is first thing in the morning I don't. Again we are not talking about extreme cardio here.
I really appreciate everyone being so open - I want to understand better what you have dealt with.
-
Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on
-
LilyBell, you make a good point. When I wore wigs, I wore a "cost efficient" synthetic one ;). There has been a lot of advances in the wig industry.
-
-
I'm really happy that you've found what works for you! That's what we each have to do. The sharing we are able to do because of AW is a wonderful thing! Thanks again, rj and Cheryl!
-
-
Hi LillyBell, I think I have 2 reasons. The first is that I can't stand to be uncomfortable and the 2nd is that everytime I put the wig on, I felt like I was going into hiding. It came to the point that I just HAD to find another way. It was gradual for me. First, just in front of my friends, then to the gym, and it spread from there.
-
Permalink Reply by SilkHead on
-
I wore wigs constantly for about 6 or 7 years. Alot of times I even went to bed with it. One night, I was getting ready to go out. I was going to all this trouble to have my wig look just right. It never was. It was itchy, it got so hot and I would sweat alot. I never felt like any one knew my true self. I felt confined by the persona I would become with my wig. I did this because I couldn't accept myself with AU. I believed no one else could either. That night I got frustrated. I threw my wig acrossed the room and said skrew this. I went downstairs bald, in front of my friends and said, I'm going to need some help coordinating my outfit tonight. That was it. I realized people weren't as shallow as I thought. I had more compliments on my looks that night than I ever did with a wig.
I have wigs today. I wear them occasionally but it's not me. It's more for fun.
-
-
SilkHead,
LOL! "That night I got frustrated. I threw my wig acrossed the room and said skrew this. I went downstairs bald, in front of my friends and said, I'm going to need some help coordinating my outfit tonight." Love it! I recall the first time going out bald, I was quite surprised at the comments too.
-
Permalink Reply by Lili on
-
I think I've written about this elsewhere on this site but to answer Mary's question. I started to wear wigs *before* my hairloss started to be visible because I wanted to change my look. My hair seemed a dry texture from the elements and I wanted red highlights really bad. I wear wigs for fashion and style but highly doubt that I'll wear one in million degree weather. Thne I'll likely buy pretty scarves, or even wear A bald look, who knows! I love wigs and think they're fun, I love that now that I'm balding I can have the hair of my dreams...it helps me to cope. Ans shows me that alopecia won't stope me from living the life I want- a life with the hairstyle of my choosing. Bald is another hairstyle. I'm trying to befriend the "new me" as much as I can and only wear a wig 3X a week about. Never at home, never with a lover, not at the super market etc. I'm always cold and this fall was excruciating, never knew how much hair insulates. But when I shave my head I will jsut do what I want to and take it from there. So the answer why we do what we do? Well this was the long answer but the short is we do as we feel like doing. Same as any woman, and alopecia shouldn't change that.
-
-
Thanks everyone for opening up - I really appreciate you telling me your side of things.
I do recall one thing I forgot to say (I think I blocked it from my mind, lol)- that expensive first disaster of a wig - well I decided to wear it to an out of town concert with my new boyfriend (now fiance) about a month after I got it. I had been wearing it on and off but never for more than about 5 or so hours. On the drive it was driving me crazy. I was so hot!! My BF is cold natured and he kept blasting the heat - he knew I was wearing a wig but I did not want to say anything about the damn heater being on blast.
I kept turning it down - he kept turning it up. Four hours later we arrived. Ah the cold blast of winter hair - thank GOD!! Then the concert which should have lasted 2 hours but due to technical difficulties lasted 4 1/2 hours!
By now my neck was RAW from the too big wig scraping against it. On the way home, more with the heater. I was exhausted, had a migraine, and now the back of my neck was felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper on it. I sat in my seat and quietly , very quietly, cried. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back and a tear somehow made it to the back of my neck and it felt like vinegar in a wound. I then burst into tears.
My BF was startled to say the least. He pulled off at the next exit and implored me to tell him what was wrong. Sobbing irrationally, I told him about my neck and my headache, and the heat. He looked at me and said, 'take the damn thing off then.' Really - are you mad man? That is not going to happen. My hair, what I had, would be a rats nest and my baldness would show.
He 'it is dark - I won't be able to see it.'
Me 'but I will know it'.
He 'you are not being rational.'
Me 'so what'.
He calmly put the car in drive and drove to a 7-11. He parked on the side and it was very little light. He got out, popped open the trunk, got in - smiled, gave me his Pluto baseball cap and said 'I am going inside to get something to drink. I have NO idea what I want so I will be in there for a good 15 minutes. If you wanted to, which I know you do not, but if you did you could take off your wig and smooth your hair and put this cap on and I would never be the none wiser.' Off he went and as soon as he was in that door, off that wig went.
If I did not know I loved him before that - I sure did then.
Viva la choice : )
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
