Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Maygensmom on July 31, 2009 at 1:05pm

my daughter is 13. she also live in a small town. she has AT at the time. She has a wig from the mens hair club. These are great hair systems. consider taking him to get fitted for one. they are free until you turn 18. encourage him to get online with the alopecia world friends. he can talk to someone who is going through what he is going through.

Permalink Reply by Susan - Jon's Mum on August 1, 2009 at 11:23pm

Hi
Thank you for your reply. I will look into wigs but so far he hasn't been interested in wearing one.
As far as alopecial world, I have told him about it. When he said that he didn't want to look at it or join I decided to join. He knows that I have joined and am communicating with other members. I have left it with him and see whether he shows an interest. I feel he would benefit from chatting to people that are going through the same thing also.
How is your daughter going - Maygen is it?

Permalink Reply by Metoaka Perez on August 4, 2009 at 10:59pm

HI i'm wakiza, a litle bit of a weird name, but i'm a 12 year old boy with AA also. I dont know anyone else with AA my age. I was wondering if you wanted to chat sometime. I was diagnosed last year, after donating my hair to Locks of love for the first time. I decided to donate because my mother also has AA. Shortly after that I started losing my hair too. My mom found this site and thought I might be able to talk with others that had AA like me. I'd like to chat sometime if you don't mind. Like to talk with someone my own age for a change. Thanks

Permalink Reply by Susan - Jon's Mum on August 5, 2009 at 10:13pm

Hi Wakiza,
I would love my son Jon to chat with you. I have shown him what you have written and asked him if he would like to chat with you. At the moment he doesn't feel comfortable in chatting with anyone. Even though he has had AA for 6 years I think in some ways he still hasn't accepted the fact that he has it. I have asked him to think about it and I am hoping that he will decide to. I think it is very important to be able to talk to someone else that has AA and especially someone of the same age.
I would also like to tell you that you are a very special boy and very kind - growing your hair for Locks of Love. Very brave as well because you are facing up to what you have been dealt with- and that is the best thing that you can do. I bet your mom is very proud of you. Keep it up!

Permalink Reply by Loraine and Sammy on November 10, 2009 at 6:45am

My daughter Sammy, 10 recently wouldnt take part in the school swimming programme because of her AA. Point blank wouldnt do it - I asked her to think about what particular things she was scared/worried about - thankfully she was able to work thru to what these were. I then spoke to the school and with their great help and practical response we resolved all her concerns and let her know her two points of contact should she be worried. It was done with little fuss, which made a difference. She has been every day of the 8 day programme. So my only advice would be to try to work through to a concern that you can help resolve.
Like I said Sammy is 10, her communications and attitudes are becoming closer to pre teen so maybe in 2 yrs we wont be able do this - high school for her worries me, its big, frightening and I am sure will give us similar challenges to those you are facing.
Wish I could help more...Loraine

Permalink Reply by Susan - Jon's Mum on November 12, 2009 at 10:54pm

Hi Loraine
Thanks for your advice and your concern.
I am so glad that your Sammy was able to tell you what she was particularly worried about. You are so right -if you know what they are finding a challenge then you can help them deal with it.
My son Jon has not been communicating with us. When we try to broach the subject of school or cricket or friends he just walks away or won't say anything or says 'go away'. He has mentioned a couple of things to his eldest sister but he hasn't and won't say much. He has intimated that there is more that is worrying him but he won't expand on that.
I have 2 daughters and 2 sons. I have found my daughters better at communicating, especially during their teens. My boys don't seem to want to talk about their problems even though i have been close to all 4 of my children. I am finding that very hard.
So I am hoping that your daughter will continue to talk to you.

Permalink Reply by Carlotta Sezzi on November 13, 2009 at 3:39am

Dear Susan, I am sorry, have not solutions but I can tell you that it did happen to me when I was 11. My parents has been very close to me and spoke a lot with them about my fears and difficulty in socializing. That helped me a lot in accepting me as a person.They went to school and spoke with teachers so that they can have a special eye on me while at school( of course it was a small school, so it was not that hard) but I felt a kind of protection on me. Tell your son that he will meet a lot of stupid persons, but tell him to "kill them all with a smile".With a smile on life can be better even if problems stay the same. Be close to him!Be close...

Permalink Reply by Susan - Jon's Mum on November 14, 2009 at 12:12am

Thank you for your concern and advice Carlotta.
Our family is normally close but Jon has not been very communicative as to why he won't go to school. He has started opening up to his 21 year old sister though he starts to say something and then says "Don't worry" and won't go on.
We did and continue to communicate with his teachers. They were keeping an eye on him and they felt that he was getting on fine though he didn't always join in with his peers when they were mucking around at lunch time. Jon did say that they were juvenile.
Will tell him about smiling - your right, it can make you feel better to be able to smile or laugh about something.
I am close to him. He still will let me cuddle him when most boys won't allow it at that age. I am also home with him while he is not attending school. I fear that he is becoming more dependant on me.
Thanks again for caring

Permalink Reply by terri on January 4, 2010 at 12:16pm

Hi Susan,
I am so sorry to hear that Jon is having a really tough time. I haven't read all these posts, but my heart breaks for him. I am alarmed at what you have wrote and as a Mom, I would be extremely proactive for him!! Kids have trouble all the time with depression and socializing issues. I would be careful to assume that his depression is because of his alopecia. Yes, it might contribute, but there is clearly more to his not wanting to go to school and lack of friendship. This dear lovely young man needs to realize how important he is and what a gift he is to this world. You should get a referral of a more qualified counselor than what you last experienced. Some are good, some aren't. I don't want to oversimplify a solution, but maybe get him a dog, so Jon isn't focusing on himself. Lots of hugs, activities where he is guaranteed to succeed, ask his teachers to encourage friendship from a peer at school.

Permalink Reply by Susan - Jon's Mum on January 6, 2010 at 1:13am

Hi Terri
Thanks for your advice.
We have actually got him into a better counsellor. She is taking things slowly but we can see alot of improvement in his attitude. Plus we did try some other things.
We got him a cat, which has helped - yes to help him focus on something other than his problems. We encouraged him to start seeing an old friend of his (Jaykeb)that went to another school. He has gone and done things with him and started going to a youth group with him which has helped. We suggested he go to the same school that Jaykeb goes to, which is a small Christian school - he has agreed that he would feel more comfortable there. Alot of the kids that go to the youth group go there as well. He is also going to play indoor soccer with some of the youth group boys. He is looking ahead again which is such a relief and he is planning what he wants to do etc. He just got a video camcorder, he has used his digital still camera so much we thought he would like this. He is wrapped and is taking small movie clips and is planning what else he can do.
We are also going to buy some kayaks and take him and Jaykeb out kayaking and he is looking forward to that.
He is very capable and has alot of natural ability in whatever he tries. He lost himself for a while and I think that he is slowly coming back.
Thankyou again for your support, it is very much appreciated.

Permalink Reply by Erin on January 25, 2010 at 12:46pm

Hi. I just saw this post and wow it sounds just like me. I kinda secretly though it would have been easier to be a boy with this, but obviously that is not the case, I now know that. Anyway I was the same, I wouldn't go to school for a few weeks when my hair first fell out when i was 15 and I too eventually dropped out of sports I found it hard to do them with a wig.
But, I would maybe give him a bit of time to stay home and adjust, but let him know he still needs to go to school. That this will be ok. that anyone (if anyone does) that bugs him about it just feels crappy about themselves and they need to get thier own life. Let him know that it is just hair, that it really is not important, i know that can be hard to belive, but I absolutely believe it. I do know a guy from another school who had alopecia when I was in highschool, he had the best attitude, he was funny and charming and everyone looked right past the fact that he had no hair or eyebrows, he still did all the things we all did, I think that is why I always thoght boys had it easier with it all, BUT he didn't it was just his attitude that was different, he didn't let it get to him. neither did I, and i ope your son learns that soon as well.
Good luck and let me know if i can help with anything :)

Permalink Reply by Susan - Jon's Mum on January 28, 2010 at 8:23pm

Hi Erin
Thanks for your comments.
Jon has had 6 months off school now. Yesterday he started a new school - a small Christian school that a close friend of his goes to. So far so good. He had a good first day so here's hoping it all goes well. He says he feels more comfortable there and it is more laid back - less stressful.

You are so right that a good attitude makes all the difference. That goes for anything in life - if you have a good attitude you will get the best out of life. I commend you on your attitude and that you have 'moved on' and don't let it get to you. That is exactly what I wish for Jon and we are working hard to achieve this.

Enjoy your son as they grow so quickly.
Take care and thanks again
Susan

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next ›
• Page