Everyone with alopecia knows that if you wear a wig, your going to be restricted of doing a few things that people without wigs can do, like swimming, putting your hair up, and stuff like that. I don't have any friends with alopecia, so they always get guilty when talking about hair, but one comment that one friend said really got me thinking. We were on the topic of my firends latest crush, and she was joking about how she wanted to marry him and live happily ever after. She turned to me and said "What happens when you tell a guy you don't have any hair."
That made me wonder what kind of reaction there would be. It just seems like every guy would go for the girl with hair because she doesn't have to remove her hair. She can go swimming without drawing extra attention, and theres nothing to slow you down. I know there are some guys out there who I'm sure would just run away when you tell him, and I want to know, if theres anyone out there who has had someone leave you because of your Alopecia.

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Replies to This Discussion

Oh my god that dude is a psyco!!! Ok, so now I know the people who can just live with me being bald are the ones who actually matter...how do you tell the guy? and when? I mean, I can imagine going on a first date, taking off your wig, and the guy going "o.....k.....I have to go to the bathroom" (not that I would take my wig off then) but I want to avoid the awkwardness if there is any way to avoid it...
Susan-
Sometimes Alopecia cna be a gift....boiled toothbrush!?!
Ellison I am married and have been for twenty years. The reason why I am responding to the blog is because I have had many men approach me regarding my sex appeal and as they say displaying confident, since I am openly bald as opposed to when I had hair.
I have had it happen to me a couple of times, but I figure I am much better off. And 99% of the time it does not matter as much as having a wonderful personality, outlook, and feeling good and confident about yourself which is not always easy for people with hair. Everyone has something they don't like even the what you think are the prettiest of people.
I watched a friend the other day who has alopecia and was just starting to date this guy,she did not let it be her problem, and he just adored her it was sweet. He was so intrigued by her because she does have this great sense of self,"" take me or leave me, because Im fantastitc just the way I am" "
Thanks so much for this reply. It has helped me a lot in the way I think about the Alopecia and my life in general.
Hi Ellison, I've never had any problems about AU. I know, for a man it could be easier but it's still on this topic. Even I think sometimes Alopecia helped me to be noticed (some kind of being special). You look very pretty so if a guy don't boil a toothbrush you gonna be in a relationship all the time ;)
Haha! Thank you so much! I really appreciate that :) Lets hope there aren't many more toothbrush boilers out there...
yeah, i was feeling kind of low this week. a person who i had just started talking to showed a lot of potential i us having compatible ideas on life, values, relationships, "integrity" and then i told him Up Front so there would be no surprises, that i had alopecia and what it is. haven't heard from him since. oh well, i have seen the time when i would have bee completely devastated; at least this time, while i am very dissapointed i haven't and won't hit rock bottom. i have worked very hard on my self-esteem and self-worth and image. but it still hurts tremendously to have all the other values and attributes thrown away like trash because of 2 superficial trait.
hi ellison. i have alopecia universalis and i know the problems you have in your daily life with a wig. when i started to lose my hair i thought i`m the uggliest person in the world and i never will get a boyfriend. i hide myself behind a wig and hoped noone (especially boys) would notice. but with the time i discovered that i`m with no hair as beautiful as i am with hair. with my new self-confidence i started dating guys. to my surprise no one had a problem with my appearance. contrariwise i had more adorrer than before. so it was just my fear to get a regret at a date. today i`m engaged. i learned to live with alopecia, more, i see it as a chance. so keep your head up, the guy who will love you like you are will come...

i tend to wlk away from guys that r trying to chat me up because im scared to have to tell them i wear a wig and that im bald and im worried that i will never meet anyone.

I was divorced several years ago before I got Alopecia which I have had for about 15 years. I really haven't dated for various reasons but recently a man at church has been showing some interest. At first I didn't reciprocate but lately I have been and he has asked me out. I wonder when and how I should tell him about the Alopecia, sooner or later, if there is a later. I don't want to encourage him if he would like to run the other way. He is a very nice man whose first wife died of Alzheimers and he treated her very well from what others in the church have told me so I'm not as concerned as I would be with another man but it still makes me nervous. She didn't have Alzheimers when he married her. I really haven't had to be too concerned about telling people about the Alopecia and only those close to me know for sure. It's not just about wearing a wig but it has changed my hot summer lifestyle. If anyone has any suggestions or encouragement I would appreciate it. I have appreciated some of these comments, esp. the one from Carol Solis on July 19.

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