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Denial, or up and down
I was feeling better before, now, not so much. I imagine that this is pretty normal - the ups and downs of my mental capacity to deal with this. I also find it hard to imagine that a year ago, while I was still losing my hair, I didn't really think twice about it, or, I would just block it out of my conciousness. I was actually quite happy like that ; ), but eventually, like anyone with a health issue, ignoring it is probably not the best protocol.
We are moving at the end of August. My GP, who doesn't take me quite seriously, admitted that I should get blood tests for auto-immune issues. I'm not ready yet b/c there is too much going on in my life right now... however I am so sick of running to the GP. If it's not my tomato-faced eczema, it's blood in my stool, or dry mouth and swollen glands. Or alternating constipation and the runs. So aside from the hair appointment in Paris on July 20th, I am in a state of voluntary not-knowing suspension.
Today is one of those nostalgic happy-sad days that happen before you move. The house I live in now looks so beautiful to me now (even if I've never liked this town). I am tired, I have a lot of work before the summer break, and a colonoscopy on Wednesday. There is too much to do.
I can be a complainer and negative person by nature and culture (said elsewhere too) and I am now going to have to fight tnat in myself, actively, for my health and my life. In spite of everything I know I'm very, very lucky, and I've got choices. I know one isn't "supposed" to be negative, but I'm also very anxious, and I know the pessimism is something I use to calm myself down. If I imagine the worst now, I can only be pleasantly surprised when it fails to materialize. Not bad... : )
What can bring you down? What helps you pop back up? Am curious. I love to hear what goes on in other people's heads. OK it's actually my job (psychologist). So there you go... please share your thoughts if so inspired...
Cheers on this nice calm Sunday,
Cara
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Thomas on
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Downers:
The reaction from other people staring at my eyebrows as they wonder why I’ve plucked 3/4 of them out and why I’ve chosen this weird shaved at the front and over ear hairstyle.
The pain from the condition when it flairs is uncomfortable.
The frustration that my immune system appears to be malfunctioning and attacking my body.
Having perspective seems trite at times but is relevant:
It’s not a life-threatening condition.
Life is otherwise good and I should focus on improving its other aspects.
The diet and lifestyle changes to combat the condition are good things for me to adopt at my age.
Exercise, exercise, exercise – everything feels better after a run. This might be the most important change for me.
I still oscillate between a self-pitying sulk and super positive ‘I don’t care and will shave it all off anyway’. More the latter than former most of the time.
My friends aren’t the most mature or considerate bunch, and when my condition first appeared years ago, they insisted on helping – with mixed results:
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Permalink Reply by Halfbakedwho on
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Lol that works. I think exercise is ESSENTIAL. These days am not feeling so great but will get back to it. BTW - my husband - bizarrely, paradoxically- has alopecia areata. He lost ALL of his hair everywhere on his body about two-three years ago. He doesn't care a whit but he also wears socks with sandals. So we are, for better or for worse, the "alopecia couple" which to me sounds kind of horrible but I will eventually get my head around it. Thanks for the picture : ) !
Cara -
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Haha! You have very helpful friends Thomas! Love your pic :-D
& Halfbakedwho, that is crazy that your husband has alopecia too! It is great that he "doesn't care a whit" I am trying very hard to get myself to be that way too- but it is so easy to slip back into being so stupidly self conscious about this stupid hair >:-[
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