Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jenn on October 14, 2008 at 4:36pm

i miss the feeling of running my fingers through my hair, it is a part of my body that i have always had and i really miss seeing it when i look at my reflection. i also hate the stares and the looks of pity on other peoples faces, i think that people automatically believe that i am sick because of my hair. my hair turned completly white so i that is very shocking sometimes to see my face with the little bit of white hair sticking up in the places that it is actually growing. also i am single and can't imagine dating someone and them accepting me the way that i am now.
there are good things too:
1) i don't even use a brush
2) it takes almost no time to get ready in the mornings for work.
3)i never worry about how much i weigh anymore!

Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on October 17, 2008 at 10:08am

Hi Jenn,

I originally had a response to your post and somehow lost the entire post before I had a chance to post it. So I am taking it that those words were just not meant to be.

But I did want to say that I truly find you beautiful, honest and full of personality. Those are the things that I am sure draw most of your friends and family towards you.

Those are also the things that make you a unique individual and those are the things that the right man will see in you. Our outside shell can never, ever describe the wonder, love and personality that we have on the inside. So if you had it before alopecia, you can have it after alopecia and I believe once you start to "feel yourself" again, it will shine even brighter. Our struggles have a way of connecting us with others, I believe they should be worn as badges of honor and shared with each other, not hidden away.

The other day at a rj church I attended a woman meeting and the group was called WOW - Woman of Worth. I love that, and it is inclusive. Jenn you are a WOW.

Take care,


Cheryl

Permalink Reply by Tiffany on November 26, 2008 at 8:27pm

Looking in the mirror is hard. I have a wonderful supportive husband, but I do find myself thinking if he sees me any different? I do see the look in my son's eyes sometimes.

How do I look at the positive side of things?

Permalink Reply by Sam Reid on December 21, 2008 at 6:23pm

On a general level I think that the hardest thing that I have found so far is dealing with the thought that I look different to others and that they realise it. Walking around and meeting new people I wonder what they think of how I look. But I haven't had any bad experiences with it yet and I get the feeling that my thoughts are much more negative and extreme than what others may be thinking.

On a more personal level I worry on how it affects my girlfriend. I actually met her just as my hair started to fall out, and she has been fantastic throughout the whole thing and very supportive. She has made it all much easier to deal with. But I sometimes feel that I'm not attractive and that she will eventually move on. On an intellectual level I know this isn't true (she is much more sensible than that!), but it's hard to fight the feelings sometimes. And the problem is, when I get down and negative, it affects how I act and behave, which has a much worse effect on a relationship than loosing any amount of hair could have. But I think that being open and honest with her about how I feel is the way to go....

Coping is definitely hard at times, but my aim is to work on the type of thoughts that I have. I'm aiming to work on being positive and happy, and try to realise that my hair doesn't define how I am and how others see me. When I think of those people in my life that I look up to and consider to be what I would like to be, it isn't their looks or hair that attracts me to them. It's their generosity, kindness and confidence. Their willingness to go with the flow and enjoy themselves in what ever situation they land in....So I'm aiming on working towards that sort of mentality, but it will take time and resolve I think....

Permalink Reply by Nants the Rebellion Dog on December 27, 2008 at 3:04pm

I have just been diagnosed. The hardest thing for me is to sit and wait....will it keep falling out? Will it grow back in? Should I buy a wig now in case it speeds up? Will it grow back white? I am not a patient person....to say the least! I think the oddest thing is medical science having no idea truly why it occurs. I am 55 so it's more unusual to happen now. I figure The Universe is sending me a lesson to learn...and I'm trying to see what it is. I'm glad it's me rather than my 18-year-old daughter. I have many coping skills I've learned over time. Well, thanks for being here.

Permalink Reply by Ali T on December 29, 2008 at 3:28pm

I totally understand what you have written there - i have been "fighting" this condition for 3 years now (cant believe its that long!) and I have still not accepted that this is it for me - I really need to try and do that but whilst my intellectual head agrees with everything that is written on this site that I have read so far (I can see I will be here for hours/days lol) my heart just will not accept that this is it for me... but I too have an 18 year old daughter and I would rather a million times that this was happening to me than to her.. I am lucky as I have a gorgeous husband who is so brilliant through all of this too - many things to be thankful for - but when do I stop hoping - or dont ! is it ok to hope that it will come back?

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Krahn on March 1, 2009 at 6:03pm

I've recently been diagnosed and am scared, anxious and depressed. Thank you for this site. It is the first time where I see these beautiful women ( and you are all gorgeous) having overcome society's norm. I am sick of seeing pantene commercials right now...really!!
My hairloss is not noticable as of yet, and can still be hidden but I dread showering and have lost myself as of late. I am a high school teacher and am taking a leave to deal with the depression and anxiety I am experiencing. I feel like this is surreal. I'm afraid of the future but am working on getting to know myself and find some inner strength to carry me through. I know God only gives you what you can handle...but wow, what a blow. I have a wonderful, supportive husband and two gorgeous kids that are my crutches and holding me up right now. I thank you for all the discussions.
Jenn

Permalink Reply by Jeff W on March 6, 2009 at 1:20am

I've also recently been diagnosed with AA and somehow find it reassuring that others here have experienced exactly the same kinds of thoughts and emotions that have at times consumed me since this started a couple of months ago. Showers were probably also my worst time - seeing the clumps of hair in the drain and the hair scattered all over the bathroom floor. Mirrors suddenly garner more attention from me than they ever did. My hairloss seems to be slowing, but I've lost a good third of my hair mostly on one side of my head and I'm not convinced that it's done falling out. I'd be lying if I said the thought of shaving my head doesn't bother me a lot, but somehow this forum makes it a bit less of a big deal. I am grateful to this forum for all of the helpful information and encouragement it provides! Best wishes to all!

Jeff

Permalink Reply by JeffreySF on March 7, 2009 at 12:59pm

Hey Jeff,

I know what you are going through.
I remember not long ago everytime I took a shower there would be hair everywhere. I was in total shock for the first 3 months. I remember the day I decided to shave my head. I felt like I was taking control of my alopecia.
I'm glad you found Alopecia World. We're all here for one another.

Jeffrey

Permalink Reply by Beth on August 24, 2010 at 12:34pm

Hi,

Thank you for your note. I, too am a teacher, but I did not take the time off. I will use this as a "teaching moment." I am very scared for the first day. I have had two dr. appts. and received the shots. I do not know if I should continue the shots or seek another dr. for another opinion??? I have many areas that can be seen, so I am also wondering if I should cut my hair and wear a wig or just come as I am?????
I too have a loving and supportive husband and a daughter who I know will make me laugh when it is needed.
I am so happy that I found this website. Your note really helped me today.

Permalink Reply by Trixie on June 12, 2009 at 4:02pm

i have just been dianosed and Im not taking it very well. My hair loss isnt that noticible yet i have a few bald patches and my hair is thinning in the front. Ive been very depressed i dread taking a shower and i wear a hat almost everytime im out i started looking at wigs.

Permalink Reply by Dawn on September 25, 2009 at 10:26pm

I dread showering, too. I miss being able to have long hair. That is what bothers me the most. I was diagnosed with diffuse AA. There is a bald spot on the top near my bangs and thinning throughout. The regular md just recommended vitamin D and vioxin shampoo. That was it. I still have a ton questions, and very few answers.

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