Alopecia World
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Wigs and Kids under 12
I remember when my Madison was 5 and lost her hair. We got her hats and bandanas and told her that we would get her a wig if she wanted it and don't worry, etc. It was a parents way of protecting your child. What we didn't know was Madison never wanted to wear any thing on her head, but it was too late because now she was scared to take off the hats and stuff. When I started the Children's Alopecia Project I knew that Self-esteem was the most important part of this crazy disease when you are a child. A child needs to be and feel comfortable in their own skin before an alternative can be offered at such a young age. Madison is almost 10 and does not wear anything on her head, she has a wig that she plays with at home but does not wear out in public, she doesen't want to look different. Just make surre that you include your child in the decision of a wig at 5 years old the childs self worth is based on what the parents value most. Self-esteem and acceptance is priceless and you will see a more adjusted child as they age.
Another important factor is to meet up with others kids with alopecia. It is empowering and many of the children will stop wanting to wear somthing on their head if they know they are not alone. The CAP Kids Meetings do this, it's amazing how many of the kids that started is CAP no longer wear anything.
Good luck to you all and continue being the great parents you are. If you need anyone or anything visit www.childrensalopeciaproject.org
Another important factor is to meet up with others kids with alopecia. It is empowering and many of the children will stop wanting to wear somthing on their head if they know they are not alone. The CAP Kids Meetings do this, it's amazing how many of the kids that started is CAP no longer wear anything.
Good luck to you all and continue being the great parents you are. If you need anyone or anything visit www.childrensalopeciaproject.org
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Miranda on
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I have debated thousands of times whether or not to get a wig, and it's things like this that have pushed me the other way. I want her to be comfortable in her own skin, and we did not make the decision, she did. We showed her pictures of girls with alopecia and ways they have lived with it. Shaving their heads, using hats, bandanas, wigs, etc.. I want to believe she has wanted a wig based on her own deision, but what a hard one it has been. I do know that once we have the finished peice that it will be her decision 100% to wear it or not. I never thought that in the beginning we might have influenced her in covering it up with a hat. I guess it is true, but now she only wants to wear a hat when she knows we are going somewhere we will be around a lot of children, such as the park, or the Children's Museum. I think that the little bit she has been picked on and told that she is "different" has affected her. I try to make it her decision for the most part, excpet for sunny days of course. She has yet to meet another child with Alopecia. I don't know of anyone in New Mexico that has a young child with it. I think she would love to meet someone with alopecia here, someone to play with and interact and as times get harder to rely on for answers I cannot give her. But we live in new mexico, and I don't know where we'd find someone. I think that another thing that has pushed my daughter to get a wig is the fact that she has an identical twin sister. She really gets upset when I do her hair, and that's just recently. We try to incorporate head bands, or clips, but to her it's just not the same. I wonder if she will have more issues with her image, because she has seen the difference with her twin sister? I also do think that because I am a young a mom, I have tried, in the beginning to cover it up. I feel like I have been judged more as a mother because I am young. I don't think I am anything less worthy of being a "good" mother due to the fact I had them when I was 17. It took a good amount of convincing my daughter's doctors that I was in fact a great mother, and that when I ask a question I am worthy of a good answer. I am very educated, and although young, understand just as well as anyone else. I guess what I am getting at is that I wonder if all the covering up I did when she was two to prevent accusations, and stares, and multiple questions, has influenced her somehow. I am sure it did, but I feel like the disease is more in her hands now. I hope she feels like she is in control now, and can make her decisions based off of what she wants. Your comment has really touched me, and made me take a double take on the whole idea of a wig, but once it's there, and in front of her, I will let her make the decision on whether or not she wants to wear a hat, a wig, or just go "comando". Thank you for your post and I would appreciate any response.
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Permalink Reply by Children's Alopecia Project on
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Wow! Where do I start! First, I can tell you are a great mother, it shows in your passion in replying. Self-esteem is so hard especially in girls. As you know they have so much going on even if they have a full head of hair. Self-esteem is king and you are doing the right thing in empowering her to help make decisions and you are right to do that. Me and Betsy did not give Maddie that choice when she was 5,so kudos. Maddie has 3 other sisters all with thick,wonderful, long beautiful hair so I understand how she feels having a sister, a twin sister with hair. Visit us and register at our website if you have not done so yet at www.childrensalopeciaproject.org We will get to work in getting you linked up to another family in your area. If you need information mailed to that can help in school or other places your daughter is involved we would be glad to do so. Email betsywoytovich@yahoo.com and request information. From there we will have you in our database and will include you and your email in our kid chat room and the parent chat room to. This is an autoimmune disease and there is no cure, you are a good mother and you are doing the best you can with your daughter. It is no different than anyone else, so don't let anyone or anything get you down and keep empowering your daughter to help make the decisions. Just a side note, my Maddie is very aware of her "fashion" in clothing and shoes, it is the way I think she accessorizes life because she can't change her hair style. Take care and look forward to speaking with into the future. Jeff -
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Thanks Jeff. I really appreciate your input. I hope I am doing the best thing I can for her, but I guess you don't know until you try. I have applied to the CAP program, but never get a response, maybe something happened? I will try again soon. I think you are going to be valuable for information here, and I really would appreciate any input, seeing how you have struggled with this longer, and have already been through the stages I am at with Della. It is also nice getting a dad's perspective, this may help with my husband. Haha. He has alway shaved his head so he doesn't really know the value of hair. But I think that may be something useful for Della? Who knows. But Thanks again for your response.
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You are more than welcome. CAP will always be there for you so when you need us, come and get us!!
Take care,
Jeff -
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Permalink Reply by Cindy on
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I just wanted to share that in addition to the wig that Samantha wears (she loves it by the way), she has a headscarf with hair sewn into it. She likes putting it on the days we go swimming so she can easily throw on her swim cap and sometimes when she is home with us. I just ordered her a different one, made with real hair and is micro fiber so it will be form fitting to her head. The one we have now is made of more a cloth material and does not lay flush, but the person who I order from said it could be because we need to cut the seam out in the front since we took the bangs off...I just thought I would share this with you for those who may want to cover their daughters' head, but not sure which way to go. This fashion is in and Sam loves the look. I am looking forward to getting her this new one. I will post a picture when the new on arrives..Cindy
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Permalink Reply by Di on
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Yes I like what I see !! It's been soooo hard finding anyone who can know how you feel as a parent watching and exhausting any avenue of hope but to no avail it seems. I am desperate for a support group in the local area Bendigo Victoria just to see meet others in the flesh who have the same problem, and for my daughter who is twelve going on thirteen to be around others without her wig or bandana would be fantastic if anyone can help me with this info I would be ever grateful from Cassies mum Di
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